Blue

They say what you wear defines you.. but what you wear is determined by the occasion you're attending.. so by blending two ideals i have come to comfort with my own dress.. a bright blue dress shirt, with a collar too,it came with lined pants hemned to my size and shoes that always hurt to wear, but i wore them everwhere.. they were bought as a gift of mourning for the death of my idol that morning.. in the evening tears rained on it, prayers were whispered on it, body heat exchanged through it, and last but not least coldness entered through it..it has heard testimonials to beloved beings, it even crossed the bilingual barrier whilst my grandmother broke down in her native toungue, i was blue in my blue.. from the escape to the entrence as i made my way through the dance floor, high schools finest.. The bright blue was a hit, again body heat exchanged through it, sweat perspirated through it, the music was felt in it.. the beat kept lolling us as we kept moving along, because we were supposed too. To be different in these situations is never fashionable, to think a different way, think of galileo, what a shame.. I smiled in my blue, happy to look good, but again the move was erractic and after traveling so long together, i began to question the very nature of our travels.. Today we put a baby boy to rest, whos life was short-lived in his master plan.. The priest says "jesus has a plan for this boy, and jesus never makes a mistake" Father, I'd like to point out youre in denial. This boys life was ended because of his guardians ignorance.. regardless of a spiritual life after death, there was no plan. He will never get the chance to live, to wear the blues like me, he will never get the chance to travel, or to love to be blunt.. and the priest has the nerve to say, " now is the time we need to confide in our lord jesus christ, pray to him tonight, for he is the only access to heaven." The last word spawned a thought fueled by hate, i began to despise the situation me and my blue were in, i began to despise the little old lady on the organ who's now falling asleep as the speech drones on, i began to despise the stranger behind me saying "AMEN" to every word the priest says, I began to feel sorry for the family to have to listen to a speech about religion after loosing their son, i dont know what is worse.. I have never heard of this jesus guy, but i've done every good deed i could possibly do, does this mean im a sinner, does this mean me and my blue are going to hell, if so I'd gladly like to see the priest himself there for making such an accusation...I stayed sitting while the majority of the crowd went to look at the clay body with blue lips relaxing peacefully on that comfortable looking bedding.. they say they need to pay their respects, I wouldn't want you looking at my dead body, even in my blues, i mean its the right occasion, but you're staring at my deceased corpse, i find that as obscene as watching child pornography.. but back on track, we left in a hurry and followed the train of cars to the hollows grounds, and walked to a the tiny hole in the earth.. the rain drops followed the beat to the funeral march, chopin would've been ecstatic..my bright blue shirt turned dark in the water, as i gripped tight to my love whos love went out the child and the family, i was trying to keep her from loosing it, keeping her dry, keeping her right, as she dipped and wept and slipped and fought the battle of keeping her chin up.. our eyes followed a similar pattern, burning into the fathers eyes, which were empty, as empty as the final words of the priest.. "he's in a better place" yeah, you know. i forgot, you talk to dead people.. who don't talk back, you beg for a christmas present, and you get what your friends give to you.. I'd like to think he's in a better place don't get me wrong, but who really knows? who really wants to know? the only part of the day that really made sense to me is when my love turned around and grasped my blue held me tight, and whispered i love you. Because love, is true.. greater than the heavens and hells, than the gods and demons.. its bonds with your friends, with your spouses.. thats what really matters.. and i wouldn't trade the thought of her holding me there for anything.. not even heaven....