The dogs

“I don’t get why he smells her butt? Do you?” I asked my irritating partner in crime who was sitting next to me behind a bush while we watched Billy smell a girl’s butt. He was seriously SNIFFING it for god’s sake! What did it smell nice or something?
Sure I would understand smelling a female bitch’s round and good looking “in their opinion” butt cheeks! But smelling a human’s is just plain out not normal.
“He is so weird!” I stated to my partner in crime but it seemed I was more of talking to myself considering my so called “Partner in crime” was snoozing off and practically would have fallen forward if it weren’t for the fact that I pushed him back causing him to fall on his back…Finally he was awake again.
“Are you done spying on that poor dog? You seriously have got to come up with better hobbies” My partner in crime stated while yawning…Lazy ass…He is the one who has got to get a hobby!
“Hey you came with me!” I said defending myself,
“Only because you DRAGGED me all the way here!” He literally screamed at me.
I stayed quiet…He was indeed right, I did drag him all the way behind this bush to spy on Billy and he didn’t want to but I couldn’t just talk to myself! Other dogs would think of me as some kind of lunatic.
And then…And then…I wouldn’t be able to MATE a strong male! OMG I can’t let that happen!!
“You’re getting paranoid again aren’t you” My partner stated literally rolling his eyes with that smug expression already knowing he was right…Damn that dog!
I glared at him…Why the hell did he always have to be right?
“Hey Joe” He called.
I blinked. “Yes?”
“There goes your victim”
I turned my head just to see Billy disappear around a corner. I was about to go and follow him when I realized something.
“Hey! Don’t call them VICTIMS!” I yelled.
“There you go again Joe, proving my point” He said amused.
“What point?” I asked curiously.
“There is more than one “Victim” He smirked.
I glared and went after…I admit it…My victim.
It’s not my fault really I thought as I continued running, I just find some kind of amusement in all of it. For some strange reason it entertains me, I am very, very entertained.
He-he it cracks me up all the things I catch them doing when they think they are alone, but oh no I am right there behind a bush! With my partner in crime that way if I get busted someone goes down with me.
Considering I am a female dog I highly doubt that humans and other dogs with their feeble minds compared to mine, the point is I would never be caught.
Nope.
“Joe, what the hell are you doing behind that bush? And is that……Oh my god is that Billy!!??” A feminine voice called out from behind me curiously peaking from the hole I was once spying through but oh no someone just had to take it. That is my spot!
“Joe, where you spying on Billy…You were weren’t you??” She asked me.
Shit…Well looks like I though too soon. I’m caught. Well I can always lye my way through it; she’ll never suspect a thing!
“My god Joe I never knew you were into those types?! What a shocker!” She continued interrupting me from my thoughts.
My left eyebrow twitched, she always jumped to conclusions and I’M NOT INTO THOSE TYPES!
“Dena, stop jumping to conclusions!” I told her keeping my voice down just incase Billy heard us; I wouldn’t want to blow my cover.
“Oh whatever…Wait…What the hell is he doing!? Oh my god that is disgusting…Oh god I’m going to puke…Oh god, Oh god…Who knew Billy was like that? And here I thought he was such a nice dog, but oh no he just had to prove me wrong, oh how sickening, who knew I wonder?” Dena whined weeping uncontrollably.
“Me” I whispered covering my ears with my paws trying to tune out her weeping, I sighed I always knew she had a thing for that Smelling-human-asses-weirdo-. For real, what does she see in him?
Well looks like her fantasy is over. I chuckled, laughing hysterically inside my head.
“Well looks like he’s gone to his owner” Dena stated yawning her weeping forgotten.
“Yup looks like it, how sad I was hoping to catch more of his acts” I said disappointed.
Dena gaped at me before blinking and sighing. “So where’s your lover boy?”
I sigh. “Probably losing at poker like always”
I blink…Wait a minute?? Did she say lover boy?
“HEY HE IS NOT! GET BACK HERE! Don’t you there turn your back on me! Oh I see how it is!” I screamed at her back. I huffed and stomped away to drag Naomi’s ass out of poker.
With Naomi
“God damn it! What the hell?! I was supposed to win this time!” Naomi stated hitting his head against the poker table. Around him 3 dogs laughed at his misfortune.
“Tough luck pal” One of the dogs snickered while grabbing his half of the money like the other two while Naomi kept bashing his head.
Another dog snickered and soon the other two joined him and laughed hard almost falling of their chairs while Naomi groaned in despair having lost all his money…again.
“NAOMI” I screamed. “Where the hells are you hiding with your poker buddies?!”
“AHA found ya!” I yelled triumphantly pointed my paw (Yes I tended to walk in only two paws like a human…I have no idea why I just do, plus it’s not abnormal, lots of dogs do it but only when humans aren’t looking I just happen to do it most likely 24 hours) at the dog bashing his head while the other dogs made a run towards the exit door money stuffed in their mouths.
“Ha-ha good luck pal, you’re in for some good old spanking!” One of the dogs screamed while having trouble not to laughing his ass off, but if he did then he’ll probably trip, so how tempting it may be to laugh his ass off at Naomi he will not.
“Naomi, you lost again didn’t you?” I confirmed sitting in one of the chairs next to him.
“I was so close!”
“Yea I remember you said that last time too, or were it every single day?” I said hiding a smirk.
“Oh shut up!” He said getting up and leaving to go sulking somewhere I couldn’t find him…Ah but he is so wrong…Never underestimate the power of instincts!! The power of JOE!
I laughed sneakily plotting to go spy on him.
“Don’t you even dare Joe” Naomi stated coldly without even throwing a glance at me but already knowing what I was planning.
I sulked. Damn it he always knew what I was up to! I stomped away.
Naomi smirked while continuing on his way.