silent and still

silent and still 
The flesh is cold and white, almost blue. It feels hard, like the hide of an animal. Her hair is cold, so cold and stiff that it feels as if you could break it, cracking it right down the middle. 
“Can’t we warm her up?” The guy who introduced himself as “Mac” is poking her left thigh, a soured look on his face. “It’d be like fucking an ice cube.” 
The only person I actually know, Josh, raises an eyebrow. “And how do you suppose we do that? Maybe if we wake her up, her body temperature will rise. But then why don’t you just attack some drunk girl at a bar and rape her? She’d be warm.” 
“Yah and moving and screaming and shit. I like them silent and still – it’s easier to convince myself she’s loving it.” I can’t believe how honest he is. 
I don’t even really know why I’m here. I love the way her skin looks like porcelain, like a doll. Smooth and fake. This is my first experience doing this; Josh was the one who insisted I come. Try it out man, it’s a trip. Dead pussies are always so tight. The large container of lube in the corner makes my stomach jump and hurl every time I see it. 
“Warm, cold, whatever! My dick got hard as soon as I saw her so I’m ready to go fuckers.” This evil little guy who looks like he kills babies and worships Satan can’t stop fidgeting, adjusting his pants, licking his lips. “Can I go first?” 
Josh smiles a sly smile. “Sure Rusty, just hold on a minute.” Rusty nods his head fast, up and down like an excited child. “Now, is that okay with everyone if Rusty goes first?” Besides me and Mac, there are two other guys here and they nod their heads, mumble “Yah.” All the guys begin filing out to the hallway, but I stop. I make eye contact with Rusty, who is currently unbuttoning his black Dickies. “Can I watch?” Everyone is surprised by this, including me. Rusty grins, what I could only describe as shit eating, and draws out his answer. “Yaaaaa, mannn, yaaaa.” 
Everyone continues to walk out, and Josh gives me a salute. I smile a smile that probably looks full of excitement and fear. After everyone is out of the room, Rusty takes off his boxers to reveal an uncircumcised erect penis. He squeezes lube in his hand and rubs it up and down his dick, soaking it with the stuff. Essentially, he’s masturbating, and he begins to do it faster and moan. He pours some more lube in his hand and starts spreading it in between the dead girl’s legs. He squeezes some lube into her vagina. And then he plunges in. 
“O fuck ya,” Rusty relishes, grabbing the girl’s tits and squeezing. He rocks back and forth, harder and harder, fucking the shit out of this dead girl. It is a strange and fascinating thing to watch, seeing his sweat and hearing him moan, while the girl does nothing and says nothing. Silent and still. He goes and he goes until he yells, “Holy shit!” and then stops, falls, and rests on her body. He sucks on one of her tits, like he is trying to please her. She’s dead, I want to scream. Eventually he gets up, sighs, and pulls his boxers and pants back on. He looks at me, the only time he has acknowledged that I was in the room since everyone left, and just nods. Like he just surfed a gnarly wave, or skied some awesome mountain. So extreme man. I nod back.  
Rusty lights a cigarette and walks over to the door to let everyone back in, a smoky trail following behind him. “How was it man?” someone asks and Rusty high fives him. “Fuckin’ awesome.” He seems relaxed, and he is no longer fidgeting. “What did you think?” Josh asks me, “Pretty powerful, huh?” 
I look at him, thinking about that word, powerful. “It really was.”  
“Do you want to go next?” he asks, and the thought of going in right after Rusty revolts me. “No man,” I say and walk out. I leave the building, get in my car, and drive home. I’ll let Josh know next time that I’m going first.