Reflection

Pulling the sheets across my body, I slowly get out of the bed and stubble across the dark maze of the hotel room. Flicking on the bathroom lights my eyes squint trying desperately to adjust to the harsh halogen glow from the bulbs above. As the shower runs I turn towards the mirror ashamed of what looks back at me. For the twenty-two year old girl laying on the bed in the other room means nothing to me. I glance down at my left hand and see the tan line where my wedding ring should be. I splash cold water on my face and try to look at myself in the mirror. A stranger looks back at me with coldness in his eyes. He looks like me with the same buzzed blonde hair, the same full lips, and the same tired face, but he is not me. He is a liar, a cheater, and an unfaithful husband that wandered from his loving wife into the arms of a home wrecker. I can’t stand to look at him anymore. There is no guilt in his eyes and no shame on his face. No longer able to stand his cold eyes staring back at me I slam a closed fist into his cheek shattering the fragile mirror. The image fades as the shards crash to the counter top. Looking down at my hand I see the blood dripping from my finger tips but feel no pain. The deep red drops form small pools on the granite counter as I think to myself, “Who am I? I turn and get in the shower leaving a trail of blood droplets from the sink. The water washes my hand clean, turning the water a light red as it swirls down the drain. Tilting my face upward I let the water rush over it letting the warmth sooth my face and neck. Thought quickly consumes my mind terrorizing it with guilt and disgrace. How could I have strayed so easily from a beautiful woman that I loved unconditionally? The woman I had promised till death do us part. The woman who stuck by my side through sickness and health for over ten years. How could I betray such a perfect woman? As the steam and water rushed over my skin my heart sunk deep inside my chest. My foolish lusting had clouded my mind causing me to stray from a happy marriage into this cruel world of lies and sorrow. As I lean forward placing my hands on the shower wall I feel the tender touch of lust itself caressing my back. As I turn to face her she asks why I didn’t wake her. The tear rolling down my right cheek is well masked by the shower water as I reply, “I wanted to let you sleep babe.” She reaches up lightly touching the side of my neck and leans in for a kiss. Obediently I lean forward the remaining distance closing the gap between her soft sensual lips and my own as I think to myself, “What have I become?”