Reflection of Love

Reflection of Love

A Short Story
By
Roy Barkley














Reflection of Love


We lived about 25 miles east of Little Rock, Arkansas heading towards the Mississippi River and it sure was hot that day. Pa was working in the barn and there was no school because it was a Saturday.
Ma had gone into town shopping and took my little brother Jamey along for the ride.
Not that Ma was none too pleased mind, on account how she had to use the pickup, because Pa said he'd fix the radiator on the Model A two day's ago and hadn't. So I figured with all the tension in the air it was just too darn hot to stick around and besides I just felt like being on my own for a spell.

There where other houses around the valley but they were all hidden from view by the thick tree growth that just seemed to flow with the contours of the hills and the valleys for miles. I decided I'd go down to the lake, Par was hamming away at something in the barm and it didn't seem worth while saying anything to him, because he'd just say "Ok Son" without even knowing what I 'd just told him.
Ma was always saying, "Yer Pa just pay's no attention to anyone, half the time. Why I swear he lives in a world of his own at times".

I started out for the lake, which was about a mile away, not knowing what I would do when I got there. It was sure to be deserted, there wasn't many other kids lived near by, no sir. Why sometimes I felt like it was my own private lake. Any way's I was walking down the road and was about three-quarters of the way there when Mary Jane showed up walking the other way.
"Hi there Billy" Said Mary Jane.
"Oh hi there Mary Jane" I said, looking at her.  She looked kind'a different I can’t say that I know why, but she just, did.
"Where yer going" She said. As she squinted one eye and put her hand up to stop the sun shining in her other eye.
"I'm just going down by the Lake"
"What yer going there for". She asked in a slow drooling voice as though I had no reason to be go there.
"Ar no reason, I was just going for the walk".
"Can I come Billy"
"I guess so"

She turned and we both started walking, we didn't say much at first we just walked. The road was no more than a dirt track that was not used much. We both glanced at each other as we walked with kind of an uncomfortable silence. I guess neither of us knew quite what to say. Mary Jane was 2 two years older than me, so she was 14. And we knew each other because, well I guess everyone knew everyone else round these here parts. It was that kind of place, no one locked their houses or barns, there was just no need, we all had about the same any how.

"It sure is hot today ant’ it". I said.
"Sure is". Came the reply, which completed that conversation. We walked another ten paces without speaking. I looked at Mary Jane and I don't know what it was, but she looked different to when I had seen her before. She was just looking down at her own feet as she walked, holding her hands behind her back. She was wearing soft cream-colored shoes and a pale blue cotton dress.
"Mary Jane". I said.
"What".
"Have you grown taller, you kind'a look different"
Mary Jane smiled. "I've got My new dress on, do yer like it". She obviously did as now her smile seemed to beam from ear to ear.
"Ar heck Mary Jane I don't now about no dresses and stuff like that"
I felt kind of stupid saying it but it came out of my mouth before I even thought about it.
Mary Jane looked at me kind’er straight.
"Why I didn't ask you if you know about dresses Billy, I asked if you liked it". Came a sharp reply.
She looked the other way obviously unimpressed by my lack of enthusiasm towards her new dress.
"Ar gee I'm sorry Mary Jane, your dress look's real pretty, why sure it does". I said
I bit my lip and felt awkward, not knowing what else to say. Although right enough she did look kind'a nice, but I didn’t know quite how to react to that or what I was supposed to say.
"That's          O.K. Billy, you boys don't know how to treat a girl till you get much older"
I said nothing to this, as I didn’t know what she was rightly talking about, but I sure was about to find out.
"My Ma".  She began. “Say’s boy's grow up much slower than girls and that when you do grow up you have trouble deciding weather your brains are in your fists or yer pants".
I still said nothing, I felt a little confused by Mary Jane’s, Ma’s pearls of wisdom. What ever she was talking about didn’t seem to mean anything to me at the time.
"And yes I am taller”. She continued. , “Why Ma say's………….".
It was at this point it seemed to me that all of Mary Jane's words were goner be her Ma's.
"Why Ma say’s, that I’m a growing so fast she's scared to blink in case I grow any more right in front of her very eye’s. It's my age don't yer know”.
This conversation was sure not to my kind'a liking so I decided we should move on to the lake in the hope that the subject would change.
"Mary Jane". I said, hoping to change the subject. "Let's cut through the trees it's quicker that way"
"Ok Billy".  She said.

Only moments later we reached the Lake. It was real still, there wasn't even a ripple on the surface and it looked bright green with a mirror like reflection of the trees that surrounded it. The trees came right down to the water’s edge and the water was so still it looked thick and shiny like a lake of green molasses. We walked over to the small jetty that stood on the water's edge. It was made out of thick gray timbers that looked as old as the lake. Quite why the jetty was there I don't rightly know.  I'd sure never seen anyone use it because no one every used a boat that I knew of, not on this lake anyhow. And besides, the lake wasn't that big. Why if I took a mind to, I could almost throw a stone clear across, well almost, well if I'm being honest, I guess I could throw one half way.
As we walked onto the jetty the sound of our footsteps on the dry dusty timbers broke the still silence that seemed to surround the lake.
The timbers on the jetty where old but felt solid and smooth and warm to the touch. It kind'a had a reassuring feel to it, yer know.
We both stood for a spell, saying nothing, just taking in the tranquillity.  I kneeled down, to look at the small fly's that seemed to dance on the water without disturbing it's mirror like surface. Mary Jane was standing up.
"It sure is pretty here Billy". She paused. "What yer come here for".  She asked, as she looked across the lake taking in the beauty and the tranquility all was all around us.
"No reason I guess, I just kind'a like it".
I looked up as Mary Jane stood beside me. And I still couldn’t say what it was about her that looked so kind'a different that day, she just did. She stood straight and tall.. Her fair hair was kind a whispy and picked up golden rays of light that shone through the trees. And for the first time I realized that she sure did look pretty standing there.
I kind'a felt a bit sick and my stomach, felt kind'a funny, edgy kind'a. I looked back down gazing at the water.
"Mary Jane".  I said, without even looking up. I wanted to say something, I didn’t even know what, but what ever it was it sure was making me uneasy, trying to get it out.
"What is it Billy, What yer looking at down there".
She stooped down beside me the hem on her dress resting on the grey timbers all around her legs hiding her feet and she crossed her arms resting them on her Knee's.
"Oh nothing really. just the fly's on the water". I answered, the words I really needed to say just didn’t come out.
"You boy's and insects". She said, "Well I did use't to like looking at them, well I mean bug's and things, but I'm too busy these days with schooling an all. And besides it just don't seem like the kind of thing a girl should be doing anymore at my age".
She looked at me with a gentle smile in a way no one has ever looked at me before, and for that mater ever since. It was a look that was clear, natural and had no intent of feeling other than, a kind'a openness. A look of purity like I had never seen before. She had a smell, as sweet and pure as she looked, and clean, ya that's what it was, a smell of clean, fresh, sweetness.

I didn’t know what to say and I felt strange at being so close to something so pure and so pretty and I swear I never felt this way before. We both looked down at the water and said nothing for a few moments; it was so quite that it seemed as though even nature was taking a nap that afternoon.
"Oh….. Bill'…. Billy " she whispered with a sense of urgency. “Look a fish"
"Where". I said whispering back at her.
'Just keep looking, we'll see it again" The whispering continued.
She leaned forward and kneeled beside me and placed her hands on the edge of the jetty to get a closer look.
"Ar it's gone, we won't see that one again' I said
"Shhhhhh. we will". She said.
I watched her as she looked as hard as she could to see though the green glare of the still water. The front of her dress was cut square across her chest but fell away from her body as she leaned forward. I could see her soft warm breast. It looked so smooth and natural of shape. It was hard to think that anything could look so perfect. I looked away drawing a deep breath and breathing out of my mouth trying to keep the sound of my breath quite, My mouth felt dry, as dry as a dirt road. I tried to lick my lips but my mouth was just too dry and I knew it wasn’t right to look.
"Keep Watching Billy" She said excitedly, unaware of my anxiety, my guilt.
I turned back to her,  I knew it was wrong, but I looked down her dress again, my heart was racing and I felt weak and I didn't know why. The shape of her breast was only enhanced by the warm pink nipple, which lay as a focus of her perfect beauty.
I stood up quickly. "I'm heading back now, Ma will be back soon and besides it will be time for supper". I said as if I was in a real hurry all of a sudden.
Mary Jane stood up clapping her hands in an up and downward motion to remove the dust.
"Ok Billy, I'll walk back with you a way's”. She said this without even looking at me as she brushed her hands down the bottom half of her dress making sure it was straight and dust free. Then she looked up.
“Are you all right Billy". She said, "You look kind'a funny".
She placed one hand on my shoulder and looked me straight in the face with a look of concern. I glanced at her briefly and then cast my eyes down to her soft white fingers that touched my shoulder and felt like warm velvet.
"No I'm ok". I said. Everything about her suddenly seemed, well noticeable I guess. I turned and started to walk slow.
It took us about 20 minuets to reach the point in the road where we would go are separate way's, we didn't say much, I guess we didn't need to say anything it was just a pleasant moment in time. Although I had these feelings, feelings of comfort and anxiety all at the same time, I couldn't say why or explain the, well the kind'a nice feeling that I seemed to feel inside.
"I'm goner go this way now Billy" She said.
"Ok" I said.
"See yer round Billy"
"See yer round Mary Jane"
We slowly walked off in our separate directions, as we started to part I stopped and turned.
"Mary Jane". I shouted.
Mary Jane stopped and turned to look at me.
"What is it Billy"
I took a deep breath and tried to swallow but my mouth was suddenly dry again, but I desperately wanted to say something.
"Mary Jane" I repeated and paused slightly,
She looked at me kind'a puzzled, I guess she was wondering what it was I was going to say. Then the words came.
"You sure do look pretty in that dress" I breathed out slowly and was able to swallow. I felt relieved all of a sudden as though a weight had been lifted from my chest.
Mary Jane didn't say anything to me for a moment and smiled at me with a look that was real soft like.
She took one step forward and was holding her hands together resting them just below her waist.
"Thanks Billy, that’s real sweet". She gave me a big smile, which seemed to shine. We looked at each other for a moment.
"Bye Billy", She said then still smiling gently she turned and slowly continued on her way.
I stood and watched her take the first few steps before I turned and continued on my way, I was afraid to turn and look back and look because I knew with each step she would be further away. I did turn around just in time to see her disappear around the bend of the road where she became hidden by the trees.
I have never forgotten that afternoon, I would Love her for the next four years of my life until her family moved across state to Little Rock and I would never see her again after that. Of course she would never know that I loved her, as she was two years older than me at a time in our lives when two years seemed generation apart.
Would she remember the afternoon by the lake, I guess not, or would she.

"Billy It's time to come in now, the sun will be going down soon, Why Billy I just don't know what you find to stare at everyday sitting on this bench looking at the lake. Now come on Billy step into your wheelchair and I take you inside and get you a nice warm drink”.
The nurses here are very nice to me an all, but they don't seem to understand that sometimes in life saying less can mean so much more. I learnt that over 60 years ago at the age of 12 when I fell in love for the very first time.

The End.