Just Another Night

I rolled over again, looking at my alarm clock.  The red lights burned into the darkness, showing 2:15.  AM.  I suppressed a groan as I looked up at my ceiling.  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the ceiling anymore.  Without opening my eyes, I threw my quilt off of my legs and swiveled so I was in a sitting position.  I waited for my head to stop swimming before I looked around at my siblings.  I had eight other brothers and sisters, all younger than me, and I was only fifteen.  I pushed my bangs out of my eyes and stood up, careful not to disturb any of them.  I skipped over all the creaky boards in our room before reaching the door.  I silently twisted the knob, and then suddenly thrust it open, knowing that it would squeak if I moved too slowly.  I propped it open before creeping out into the hallway.  Our dad’s bedroom door was open, but that didn’t mean anything.  It just meant that he was out…again.  He was usually away at this hour, at a bar or at his new girlfriend’s house.  Ever since my mom-my real mom-left him for cheating, he’s never been able to stay with one woman for more than a few months.  I felt so betrayed that he would leave us like that, at least I had.  I was used to it now.  I’d gone through eight other moms since then, but none of the divorces seemed to matter as much as the first one did.  I snuck downstairs, missing all the squeaky steps as I tiptoed down.  I felt like I was years old instead of fifteen as I heated up the stove and started to make a few cups of hot chocolate before I leaned back against the sink and lit a small red candle that I left out for myself.  I closed my eyes after looking at the clock again, this time it read 2:20.  I smiled without opening my eyes when small footsteps came down the stairs, and a small squeak came out for a second.  I knew it was my only brother, Nathan, coming down.  I was teaching him how to play the drums, even though he was only five.  He was a natural at hitting things, but I just had to remind him to keep the beat.  He was getting better.  He came around the corner, his eyes adjusting to the small light before smiling at me.  He had a baby face, his brown hair growing shaggy whenever I forgot to take him to the barber’s.  Well, not take him, just cut his hair.  Dad brought home enough money for food and bills alone, and everything else we had was either given to us by our many moms or girlfriends that dad had, or I bought it with my skimpy waitress paycheck. 
“Hey, Sid.” He yawned, looking at the stove, as if not comprehending what I was doing.
“Hey, Nate.  What’re you doing up?” I asked him, ruffling his hair.
“I couldn’t sleep, and you were gone.” He said.  Holy crap, he reminded me of myself when I was five. “What’re you making?” He asked sleepily.
“Hot chocolate.  Sit down, dude.” I said, and pulled out a stool for him.  I looked at the many stools that lined the wall.  Our house was so tiny that we didn’t have a table in it.  We just held our plates while we ate in a circle, facing each other.  There were eight; one for Rose who was twelve, one for Laura who was eleven, one for Ally who was nine, one for Zoë who was six, one for Nate, one for Lindsay who was four, another for her twin Gracen, and one for me.  The only one with none was my littlest sister, Hailey, who was one year old and still ate baby food and who I fed.
When the hot chocolate was done, I set his mug down and sat across from him.  He sipped quietly.
“Wow, Sid.  You’re an amazing cook.” He said for the thousandth time as he swallowed.  He took a huge gulp before remembering that it was hot chocolate and they called it ‘hot’ for a reason.  He almost choked on it before wincing.  I quickly stood up and got two ices for him; one for his hot chocolate, and one for his throat. 
“Suck on this for a while, and then we’ll see if you need more help.” I said, sitting down across from him after setting the cube in his drink.  He sucked on the ice for a few minutes before opening his mouth.  I peered in, letting out a sigh of relief when it was only his tongue that was burned.  I took his mug and washed it out with mine and sat down across from him again. 
“So, Sid, where’s dad?” He asked, nervously biting on a fingernail.  He looked so confused and tired that I just had to sit with him.  I scooted my stool over to him and put my arm over his shoulders.
“He’s probably out again.  Don’t worry.” I assured him.  I never told anyone this, but Nate was my favorite out of all of them.  He was the little trooper in this family. “Why don’t you try going back to sleep, dude.” I suggested as he yawned. 
“But I’m not…tired.” He insisted, yawning again.  I sighed and smiled.  I started to hum, knowing he would fall asleep soon.  He yawned again as I hummed.  I started to sing softly to him, hearing his breathing slow as I did. 
         “Lullaby my baby
         Let me sing good night
         Though the day is fading
         New one will be waiting
         You must sleep now darling
         Everything's alright

         Lullaby my baby
         As the nighttime falls
         Through the dreams you're sailing
         Facing shadows bravely
         Keeping every moment
         In your heart and soul

         Lullaby my baby
         As I watch you sleep
         I remember dreaming
         How I'll have you with me
         Now you're here darling
         And my world's complete.”



*** I DID NOT WRITE THE SONG!  ALL THE CREDIT GOES TO THE AMAZING YuliaGM ON YOUTUBE!  LET’S GIVE HER A ROUND OF APPLAUSE! ***