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Phone conversation, ripping two to shreds. |
Cried myself asleep, Not so unusual for someone like me, He and those yellow begonias were all I could see, But it didn’t matter, I didn’t fuckin make a difference. The way he brought it up on the phone, Made my head pound, Made me forget where I was. Curling up underneath grandma’s quilt, I hid my tears beneath the sheets. I heard his tears straight through the line, And I knew it was time, To finally give in to fate’s mighty presence, This wasn’t how we were supposed to turn out. Love had other expectations for both of us. I choked on words, asked if it was truly what he needed. Me outta his picture. And he couldn’t say anything for those few minutes, And I knew that was even worse. I fought back tears and tried to keep myself the strong one, I wouldn’t fall back, I would hold my ground. I took control then, on the line, Promised I would still be there whenever he needed me, Like a savior I wanted to be, I knew I needed to talk to him more than he did for me. I said the same old lines, making them sound even sweeter. It reminded me of a time not so long ago, Where I made a boy cry just as much, Just as hard, I felt the same guilt and self-loathing. But It was what he wanted, and who was I to say no? He was right, and I was done. Then I turned the tables on him, Telling him my deepest secrets, telling him that I might have loved him, What a fuckin sham. I didn’t mean that, baby, I didn’t mean that. Don’t be sad, I will be there in the morning. Crying my eyes out among the pink petunias, that clutter my lawn. Wearing that dress you once adored, Telling myself that this was just a phase, But what a painful thing. LONELY, I’m lonely, I’d breathe as I puked over the toilet I was ugly, I was now a gruesome beast. He was the one I wanted, and I thought it wouldn’t end this way, We weren’t expecting it, it just happened. Like fate. Like fuckin fate. Ease your mind off the details sweetie, I will always keep my promise. Like your own personal angel, Or demon, whatever you want. |