Dont let go

she holds him in her arms. his body so frail. the tears roll down her face. he wipes them away. his hand too skinny. she holds it.
"don't let go mommy."
"i won't son,"
she says between sobs.
"i won't."
her sobs weaken him, and he begins to cry. they both know it. yet they both still deny it. in her mind she curses the disease in him. the wretched sickness. stealing her son. he was so thin. so sick. he felt like nothing in her arms. she began to cry again.
"don't be scared mommy." she looked at him. her son. she remembers a time long ago. when he had told her that he had always wanted to go to a dance. and to find a girl there. a beautiful girl. he wanted to ask her to dance. he wanted her to love him. she remembered this with great pain. times had been so good then. no sickness. no disease. and there had been food. she looked at her son once more. "do you want to dance?" he looked back into her brown eyes, bright against her dark skin, and he nodded. still holding his hand, she led him off the porch. And with no music, they began to dance, a slow dance. their bare feet moving along the dirt in perfect timing. she held him and he held her. keeping each other together. He closed his eyes, and wearing a brand new tux, looked deep into the eyes of the beautiful girl he was dancing with. the music filled the room, a slow ballad. moving their feet along the polished wooden floor, the lights glittered off of her brilliant new dress, and danced all around them. they were the only ones there. he leaned in closer, with intention of kissing her, but instead he started coughing. he couldnt get a breath. he looked at his hand and saw a drop of blood on it. and everything came back. the african sun beat down on his skin. he had no new tux. no girl. no lights. no dance. between coughs he looked up at his mother. " it...it didn't happen did it?" she shook her head slowly and sobbed. "im so sorry. so so sorry." he was on the ground. he could barely breath. his mother was falling apart. he remembered the blood that had been on his hand. he looked at it. and then he remembered. he looked at his mom. " you let go. " she began to sob even harder. "no, son. you let go." he collapsed on the ground. he was shivering even though he was burning up inside. he couldn't stop shaking. he feltl like he was breaking inside, falling apart. his mom tried to calm him down. it wasn't working. " son! no child. look at me. its ok. im here. its ok now. son stop! please...please stop."
"dont...be..scared ...mommy"
she called out to the world.
"Help me! help my son!"
then she called out to god.
"help him god! please!"
"mom...stop.....its ok."
she held him in her arms. "we can do this boy, we can do this."
"no mommy...i cant. that was...that was"
"but you can! i know you can! what was it? come on boy, keep talking!"
"it was...last dance mom...last...dance."
"NO!"
she cried. and cried through the night. when the ambulance came, she cried. when morning came, bringing on more pain, she cried. she could hear him. "dont be scared mommy." a few day later, at his funeral, she cried. only a few people came. when they opened the casket, her breath got caught right there in her throat. he was so handsome, in his brand new tux. "my boy has a suit," she cried. her son owned a suit. she looked to the sky. and prayed. "god, let there be dances in heaven. hes got the suit for it. god, give this boy a dance. let him know that when i get up there, i want to meet his girl, and that we will dance again. tell him that that was NOT our last dance. tell him i love him, god just let him know that down here on earth, i will think of him every day" she looked at her hand. the one he had released on that day, the day that seemed like so long ago. and she held it up to heaven. "tell him, god, that i said this..." tears began to roll down her cheeks. " son, you needed me that day. but now, i need you. please child, my boy," she smiled as tears ran down her face, "dont let go."