Grandpa

Gone. He was.. really...truly...gone. It was like a raincloud over my life, a raincloud that just wouldn't go away, blinding you fron everything, everyone. What did it matter anyway? Mom would die, dad would die, sissy, Josh, me boyfreind, me. What was the point of hiding? Life was just, well, waiting.
I sat in the meadow, remembering. Remembering the last time I was there. My Grandpa and I were very close, way more close than the usual grandparent and grandchild. We were like a father and daughter. He was my life... I was his.
Sitting in the grass I could hear his beautifull laughter, ringing like bells in me ears. The smell of tobacco and smoke still lingered in the air, what he left behind. I didn't know how to feel anymore, how could god have done this to me? Left me in the grass without him? Why? I guess some things are meant to never be solved...
But would grandpa have wanted me to be like this? A hermit, not talking to anyone, a shell of my former talkative self? Probably not, but how should I know? He was gone and thats all that mattered.
I decided to jump. Jump of this sad little cliff into the waters below. I'de always wondered what it would be like... But should I? Should I be like Little Ann was with her brother, die from greif? No will to live.
"No. Anything but that, not for me." My grandpa answered in my head. My whole body went numb? Was he alive? Or was I just imagining things?
"Of course your imagining it, but does that mean it isn't real?" My grandfather chuckled, after repeating Dumbledores famaus words. I froze. Maybe he was right. If I did kill myself... what would be the point. What if Grandpa wasn't happy to see me? What if he was dissappointed in me? I didn't want to find out.
So I didn't jump. I couldn't, for my grandpa... but more for me. I couldn't ruin my life.