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About chatter-heads who have large extended families |
There are two types of families in this world - families which are part of an extended family - traditionally owners of farm lands, land-lords and traders who lived in their own mini-township and villages and who migrated to cities and suburbs and live for generations in big bangalows - Families which held on to their togetherness where everyone has a large number of brothers, sisters and cousins where it is not difficult to find someone who is a achiever and someone is a loser. But because of numbers, the average joe in those families appears to be big-time achievers. Such families (particularly girls and woman) have great deal of self-pride and they never give up on their cousins and brothers..Usually in such extended families there will be a "queen bee" who catches all attention to her. The "queen bee" is usually some kind of "family angel" who will be heard and who will cheerlead/puppetter such family-pride-showoffs especially during festive gatherings, family reunions and family feasts. The "queen bee" will usually be a eldest daughter or senior daughter-in-law (who is brainwashed into the family). Such show-off rituals will be strongest, if the "queen bee" feels insecure that an outsider could be a stronger individual (who could be an achiever and whose achievements could be higher than her family's) and could not be psychologically shaken with cousin-praising-mantras (my cousin is this, my cousin is that, my cousin drives a race car, my cousin owns a company, my cousin/brother owns a flat ... bla bla...) The other type of family are solo/nuclear families which migrated from place to place in search of promised land/money. They may not have extended families and large groups of children. Many of them are not super rich (because they do not have multiple families pooling in their earnings/money for the common extended family for more than one generation to get properties/lands and settle down). Many of them are farm laborers, contract soldiers and plain nomads/gypsies. Their children may not be as extrovert , socializing and sharing as children of the families as given above - but they have to struggle against bullies, new environment, lack of grandpas and grandmas to support them and their only hope is to get a good eduction and get out of family to start on their own. Some families isolate themselves so much that heads of those families think of moving away and keeping distance as right thing for themselves and their children. Their children also grow up liking more solitude, and value resources and do not want to share, they also show more selfishness than sharing and a fear to survive - Their children could be at extremes - at one end of spectrum, they could be fearful of failure and may not be able to achieve and take their family to next level - on other end, they could be highly impulsive, risk taking - even getting into anti-social activities. They socialize - but do not like too much crowds and would want to keep their space - they may not have that much self-pride - because being outcast teaches modesty. Because of family isolation, their beliefs are solely shaped by their parents and friends (no family heritage, pride, your great great grandpa is so-and-so kind of non-sense fed into them) The truth is somewhere in middle - the above family types are just "state" of a family in one/more generations time. Families which were stongly bonded extended families get dispersed due to famine, war and simply their children moving to greener pastures. Similarly extended families are created by some migrant/nomad who came and settled and out of hard work created wealth and had more people/relations/wives around him. This story is about a boy from a solitary family coming into a relationship with a girl from a wealthy extended family (who always boasts about her cousins and never want to give up family pride) and comes in direct conflict with "queen bee" of that extended family.. The troubles he undergoes and cold wars he has with a big team of her cousions, brothers and ladies in her house - who treat him as an oddity (who does not get along). He gets married to sister of this queen-bee. Then in one family gathering, he beats all her cousins in a game of carrom. The family-pride takes a beating. That day, they decide that throughout the vacation time, they plan to annoy him one way/other. Every day and night, they talk about their flashbacks and good old days where they used to beat everybody else. They also hit the weak spots of him (him not being so well off, living in rented houses and driving a small car, and not in a well-paying job). He feels humiliated - a man whose mind likes solitude suddenly comes in great shaking and stirring because of such talks of sarcasm. His mind felt like a calm grazing dull-ass buffalo whose peace is threatened by distant roar of lions on a cool morning. His mind felt like a giant gas stable supernova heading into a cosmic cloud of exploding dwarf stars. His mind felt like a turkey surrounded by hunters unable to hide anymore. But life of this queen-bee (who is 20 years old - but makes fun/sarcasm of everyone elder to her) is about to change..Months later in a very happy family occasion of marriage (celebrated over 3 days), her rich father arranged for a even bigger get together of cousins, their college friends, cousion of a cousin and relative of relative. As usual our man is under-represented as he has very few relatives and friends. It was a long day of getting to know everyone - as the party went into the night with booze,partying, he was about to get into some bedroom and crash - he wants some solitude - while his wife was still discussing about their childhood stories. He felt very tired and want to desperately get to sleep. He finds the nearest bedroom. When he gets into a bedroom, he sees our queen-bee in a compromising position with somebody whom he cant even recognize - He and her shocked to see him barge into the room (like a gorilla) say "Jesus" and the half-full coke bottle flipped over spilling the drink and froth over the table - then that somebody ran and disappeared into the crowd. He was shocked - it was very awkward to see her smiling face in guilt and tears. By dawn, he says to his sister-in-law "Jesus" and he will have nothing to do with that incident - 3 times.. He saw her like her own naughty sister or daughter. He being very shy - not sure how to handle this. He promised her to keep the secret. For next 2 days of marriage celebration, his only mission was to find this boy - he searched everywhere - but unfortunately came to know, he has absconded.. Things changed from that day onwards, our queen-bee is not laughing anymore, she has drawn inward - a girl who is always on mobile phone has switched off her mobile. She is very quiet during rest of that marriage.She does not run around with her friends making fun of everybody especially our man (her faviorite brother-in-law to be hen-pecked). From that incident, she is very quiet in dinner table. Then the marriage gets over, everybody part their ways. Our man drives her down in the small-car (she fondly makes fun of) to her college along with his wife. Those 5 hours in which he drives his wife and his 20 year old sister-in-law to her campus was most awkward moments in his life. Those 4 hours (with a 30min break in between) were most silent moments in her life. His wife was chiding him that he did not interact well with all her relations and cousins who came to marriage. Only he himself and sister-in-law knew what really was going on in their minds. He feels awkward everytime he sees her face. What started as a cold war now becomes some kind of attraction. He does not know what to do - tell his wife - She would be very mad at him for not telling her immediately and hiding that incident from her. Write a letter to someone in family (some close friend who will understand). But since she is a favorite in her family - anyone coming to know of this incident - will surely resort to killing that boy. Also he does not know how such a big family worked - their internal politics - the inner-workings - he has burnt enough of poking his nose. So he decided to keep this as a secret and let it go - but on the other hand in his dreams, though he saw her as somebody who made fun of him, he felt that a young girl's life could be shattered, if he kept quiet. Our man takes it on himself to somehow find this guy.. He slowly realizes that despite all those relations here, she feels very helpless and lonely here and a lonely person like him can only help her. Then one fine day, she comes to his office. It was a rainy day. As he sees her waiting in the reception lots of thoughts ran into his mind - has she come to ask him to keep it a secret, has she come to blast him to rudely entering the bedroom as she was eloping with her girlfriend, has she come to share her grief, has she come to ask him if he could find that boy, has she come for any money/help, has she come to ask him stay in his house - none prepared him for what he was about to hear. She claimed that she is pregnant and he says Jesus! She also says that she never knew who she had slept with and she had been to a doctor who had advised against abortion. She also says that she could not stay in hostel and badly needs a shelter to stay till her exams and does not want her sister to know. So he arranges for an apartment for her closer to her campus and sends her money every month without letting his wife know. He also parallely looks for that boy. For his investigation, he has to go and talk to cousins of his wife (and their college friends) - who were scattered all over the country.. He has to go back to her wife's native town and ask everyone who were invited about this boy.. He is dejected that in an uncertain economy no-one has time to take a vacation and do all this detective work. He thinks - let her have a baby - then i will look for him.. Time is running out - as she has to deliver - before her exams and her exam dates and labor dates coincide - On her insistence that she will continue her studies, he did not go to her college and ask for a year discontinuation - as this will cause drop in her grade/credits - also she does not want to explain her personal situation to college authorities. Meanwhile his wife is suspicious that something is going behind her back.. She fears the worst that he was having an affair with her sister. She (as wives usually are) shows her displeasure while serving food, while in bed and whenever he returns home. Fast-forward this mega serial story - his wife finds out followin him, suspects he is having an illegal affair with her sister (banishes her sister from her life - her sister could not reveal more accepts the blame) and blasts her husband and divorces him, her sister delivers the baby and dies of complications during delivery - as she had uterus complications which was discovered late in the cycle - he having this strange relationship could not take her to doctor for checkups as would husbands do. (Once the divorce notice was issued, he was running between court, hospital and college to get extension for her taking the exams), his in-laws and all cousins of his wife ostracise him forever (everyone asks him to get out of their sight and be far away from them before they kill him) and he is left with a beautiful baby girl and a divorce.. But by this time, he has given up - alienated by everybody (including his own mother who does not want him to ever come back home again) and his friends not able to believe him and not willing to help him - he is left wondering what to do..In the hospital, while he is finishing the formalities with law enforcement on the cause of death and his relationship with her, while holding the new born baby wrapped in a towel, a friend of her comes up and says that she knew who is the father of the baby.. He replies in a soft and calm voice ... "Now you tell me!" He is not sure what to do.. whether to find that vagabond and hand over this beautiful baby, hand over baby to orphanage, remarry and adopt this baby girl..Mega-serial story continues.. (and i am also not sure how to continue this story..) At end of it, moral of the story : Use a condom. |