Going Home

I was freaked out and I knew why. I was sitting on a fair sized airplane and I hated flying. There was something about them being in the air without flapping that did not sit well in my mind. However I was getting antsy as well, I couldn’t wait to transfer from this plan to a smaller one. The reason why: I was heading home. I had been gone for five years now and I couldn’t wait to see my family. I had my two friends who were sisters to me, and a smile child who I called my niece. They had no idea that I was flying in. I wanted to surprise them. The only thing that they knew is that I wasn’t on the internet for the last couple of days.

I had moved for my partner to the east coast. I had stayed for my opportunities and school out here. It was a trade school so it was a better education chance for me. I was miles away from them and it was hurting us all. It had taken me forever to get where I had needed to be. I finally had this chance to get home. So much had happened in the three years of my absence. I had my missed my little niece’s birthdays, and Kathryn graduating. Those are the two I took the hardest. There were so many milestones in their lives that I wasn’t there for. It hurts to think about it too much. I was there for nearly everything with them. I could feel my eyes starting to water and not wanting to cry on an airplane I put my headphones on and listened to some old songs we used to dance to. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly.

The airplane had hit some turbulence that shot me awake. It was my first reaction to clutch the arms of my chair. I brought my knees up to my chin and closed my eyes tightly. My knuckles had gone white from my grip and I was barely breathing. I suddenly didn’t feel the shakes however I felt a warm hand being placed on mine. I opened my eyes slightly and looked over to see a young man. He smiled widely and gently leaned over and pulled my headphones off. His eyes were a soft brown and his hair was in a bed head style that would block his vision.

“It stopped shaking you can ease up now.”
“Thank you.”
“Hate turbulence?”
“I hate planes, with a fiery burning passion.”
“Must be a big thing, to put yourself on one.”
“I’m going home”
“Ah any reason?”
“A promise.”
“Enough said.” He smiled and went back to reading his book.

I smiled and turned to look out the window. It confused me how I hated airplanes so much yet
The clouds below me, gave me a calming sense. I couldn’t help but think of Kasiya and Kathryn and their faces, when I would buzz the door. The conversation with the man beside me brought me back a few years when I first said I’d be leaving. On our last night together, we planned a sleepover at Kasiya’s house. We had stayed up all night and talked the hours away. Kasiya and Kathryn had stopped talking and looked at me and made me swear that in a few years to return. They thankfully understood that I couldn’t possibly be home in the first year but they wanted it before I came home permanently. None of us thought I’d make it home for good in five years. We always prepared for the worst that it would be many more years.

The airplane had finally landed and I rushed to get off of it. I only had a few moments before my next. I got up and grabbed my stuff from the overhead compartment and bolted from the exit. I shuffled around in my purse to get my boarding pass out and ready. I changed airplanes quickly without hassle thankfully. I quickly took my seat and was thankful it was another window seat. I may fear airplanes but being able to see when we were landing and still in the air always helped me. I put my headphones back on to calm my excitement a bit. I pulled out my wallet from my purse and took the picture flap out and replaced my wallet. It had pictures of the three of us and my little niece. They had gotten the pictures from the sleepover developed and sent them to me. I was able to crop and print them out to fit in my wallet. I smiled to myself and put them away knowing this flight would be shorter. I curled up and stared out the window. My eyes and mind were playing tricks on me for I could see Kathryn and Kasiya’s face in the clouds and ground. My excitement was becoming too much to bear.

The airplane finally landed and I couldn’t get off of it fast enough. I knew my mom and step father were waiting for me to pick me up. I came bursting through the door seeing them standing there with huge smiles on their faces. I ran up and threw my arms around each of them. I had missed them a lot however it paled in comparison to the girls. We walked over and grabbed the suitcases I had with me from the treadmill. Any other stuff of mine I had shipped in already with the moving company. It was all set up in my new house. I couldn’t wait to see my new home; they said it was a nice set up.

I had gone through school for a diesel mechanic and this one company had been watching my marks from the beginning. I graduated at the top of my class and was the only girl. Seeing the opportunity they had asked me to sign on with them. I knew the company from back home as well so I gave some conditions for signing on. I was determined to get home. I told them I wanted to be set up back home that they would pay for it. Thankfully they didn’t want to risk losing me that they agreed. They had sent me home, relocated me at no cost to myself, and gave me two weeks before I had to start. Thankfully I had my step dad and family there who got everything ready for me. They organized my new home; all that was left was for pictures to be put up and clothes to be put away.

My step dad grabbed the two suitcases that were mine and put them in the trunk. I sat in the back seat amused at the entire situation. I felt like I was sixteen again watching them drive. He pulled into a small restaurant and I couldn’t have been more grateful the airline food was disgusting; it verged upon hospital food just a tiny bit better. We chatted about what my new job would bring me. Mom was torn between annoyance and thrilled over me coming home. She did not approve of me coming home because of the girls however she was happy about it at the same time. She thought they were just friends to me she never did understand the bond that the three of us shared. We’ve been together through so much and for so many years that the friendship bond was passed.

Over my years in Nova Scotia I made a few friends, granted I would miss them but it never pained me once physically to be away. I knew on vacation time I could come back and visit them. Being away from Kasiya and Kathryn I was in constant pain, everyday. Papa Ray had paid for the meal and we got back into the car for them to show me where my new home was going to be. As we pulled into a driveway I nearly busted out in laughter for Kasiya’s house was two doors down. Kathryn would have no problems getting us all together. It made me smile more since if Kasiya ever needed to get away for the night she didn’t have to walk across town.

I said goodbye to the two of them saying I wanted to set up the rest of my house. With them saying they would pick me up in a few hours for dinner. I couldn’t be more thankful since groceries were something not in the house yet. I decided to get acquainted with the place so I took a walk around making choices on what would go where. I was thankful it wasn’t an enormous house, yet it did have three bedrooms and two bathrooms. With the amount of stuff I had accumulated over the four years it did not fill up this home. Knowing me and the girls it would not take long for it to be over filled with stuff. I knew I would have my bedroom covered and then a spare room for company and the final room would become both my office and my library. I knew I would have to reorganize what my family did it wasn’t how I would prefer it. So I spent the couple hours I had putting away my clothes and moving furniture around. I threw in a load of laundry before they came back.

My mom and Ray had picked me up a half hour later and we went to my grandmothers and had a huge dinner with everyone. It was such a big thing for me to be home. I’m sure they were all a bit put out that I wanted to go to Kasiya’s right away. However they laid the usual guilt trip on me and I was still missing Kasiya and Kathryn. I told them some stories of my time back east. Some of the people I met and how the new job approached me, I don’t think I talked so much to them.

My younger cousins were so excited about me being home had me running around the backyard and the basement playing with them. We chased each other and danced and rolled around on the ground. The rest of the time was spent with the rest of my family catching up. Letting them know exactly what was going on and the things that had happened in my life for the past five years. It was around ten at night that people started clearing out. However my mom who was also my ride home wasn’t leaving for a while. All that was left in the house now was my mother, her two sisters, my brother, step dad, and my grandmother. We all sat down around the table and I could see all of their faces staring at me, it was the fastest way for me to feel twelve again. They were not approving glances and my heart sank. I just wanted to go home and sleep I couldn’t wait until tomorrow; it was the day I’ve been waiting for.

“Your mother was telling us that you just wanted to see Kasiya and Kathryn first. Your family isn’t good enough?” My grandmother started it all.
“No it’s not that at all really. Just they didn’t know I was coming home. I got excited is all to tell them. All of you already knew, they didn’t I just wanted to let them know.”
“You didn’t think we missed you?” My aunt cut in.
“No it’s not that either. I just wanted to show up at Kasiya’s doorstep and go boo.” I couldn’t tell them that those girls were more important to me than my blood family. I could see my brother standing there with an all knowing smile. It always surprised me that he was wise beyond his years and that I knew he knew what was going on in my mind. I knew he understood.
“So what happened?” My other aunt picked up the conversation.
“Pardon me?” The question threw me off guard.
“What caused you to come back home really?”

I knew that this question was going to be asked. I was hoping it would’ve been a little later than now. Yet I was surprised that it wasn’t sooner. I should’ve been prepared it would’ve been the first day I got back home. I leaned back in my chair and sighed a bit as I looked into each of their eyes. For the first time in my life they were hanging on to my every breath, and movement waiting for the answer to escape my lips.

“We just didn’t work out. When she was away I was doing okay. When she came back things were tough. She had changed and didn’t want me to continue with what I was doing in the three months that she was gone. She wanted me to be there for her all the time and she didn’t understand that it was harder for me if I clung to her for three months. She also always wanted to hangout with her friends but didn’t want to hang out with the friends I had made. It just made everything harder all over. So when she came back I told her I would take care of the apartment and everything else like when she was away, cause I still wanted to get the schooling done out there. We still talk frequently and are still friends just I couldn’t handle that and she wasn’t willing to change it. So when she finally got posted off of the Island I moved out with my friend and I went to school. I did my full five years in there, through all of those years my current employer had been watching my improvement. It was then that we sat down and negotiated my terms.” I told them the story in the shortest way I could possibly say.
It was hard to say since I really haven’t said anything about it before. I only talked about leaving her with Kathryn and Kasiya. Those were the two who helped me through everything when it was happening. My family had really no idea what has been going on in my life for the past few years. My eyes had started to water from talking and I wiped the un-fallen tears away, my brother upon seeing this came over to me and wrapped his massive arms around me. It was comforting having him do that to me as I leaned into him I allowed myself to calm down.

“All the same. We are glad to have you home now, right where you belong.” Papa Ray had said and came over and enveloped both my brother and I in a support filled embrace.

The rest of the night had gone by with idle chatter and laughter around the rectangular kitchen table. As the later hours continued to creep upon us the family started to thin out to go to their beds. Mom and the group of us were the last ones to leave. I attempted to protest about being able to walk from my grandmothers but I lost the battle and got into the car shaking my head. It only took two minutes to get to the end of the street as we said our goodnights and made plans for the time when I’d be picked up tomorrow to get my own car. I waved as they pulled away and I walked into my house.

I went into the kitchen to look out my window to see Kasiya’s apartment. My insides were tightening knowing that I just wanted to run over and go ‘BOO’ was killing me being so close but pretending to be so far. I found it hard to sleep that night but I forced myself as I placed myself down on the pillow looking up at the white ceiling. I had made the plans with the folks in order to do something with my day, knowing that Kathryn would not be at Kasiya’s until later that night. I turned away from the alarm clock as it turned to four in the morning. My heart was still pounding and my legs were twitching and still sleep was not my friend that night. I knew it was a mixture of the new house and being so close to one of my dearest friends who had no idea that was causing my insomnia.
The morning finally came and I stumbled out of the bed hitting my alarm knowing I was lucky if I managed to get two hours of sleep. I jumped into the shower and got myself dressed. I knew that Mom and Papa Ray would be here to pick me up to get to the lots and check out vehicles. I sat on one of my kitchen chairs watching out the window knowing I’d have to be quick to make sure Matthew and Kasiya wouldn’t see me. I heard the honk and quickly bolted out the door and dove into the car as we took off for the day. We went to dealerships and used car lots all over town if I didn’t find something wrong with a vehicle, Papa Ray did. I knew what I was looking for; it needed to be kid friendly. I didn’t want a fancy sports car due to it not having enough room for three girls and a child. I knew I’d get a sports car eventually since I loved them so but not at this time and I refused to get a van. After a few hours of going all over town we finally found the perfect car.

We all met back at my grandmother’s house, it was always central command, and that part would never change. I dragged them all out to check it out for I was super excited about it. As I was telling them the details and I stood back to admire the shiny quality about it mom nudged me out of my stare.

“With your job and all, why didn’t you just get a truck?” I could hear the surprise in her voice, and her eyes held a question within waiting for my response.
“Well to be honest mom, I had decided on the car because of the room it brings me. I don’t plan on moving anytime soon. So I figured I’d pick up a beater truck and tinker at it later. On top of that I wouldn’t want a shiny new truck to put greasy stuff in and stuff.” I explained with a smirk upon my face and I could see Papa Ray trying to hold back his giggles.

I took a few people out for rides in the new car to essentially try to break it in. Mostly I was trying to get away from the same people and the same house to waste time. I then wanted to give it a test on the highway so I dropped everyone off and took a ride outside of town. I couldn’t wait to take Kathryn and Kasiya out. In my head I had made plans to get the beater truck all done up and then I would lend my car to Kathryn, for then she’d never have to worry about how she was getting to Kasiya’s that week or how often she could. I started to come back into town and took a detour to drive by Kathryn’s house just to see and I got lucky for I saw her getting into her car. I had to speed up to avoid honking the horn. The excitement was getting to me, it was time.

I knew Kathryn enough to know which route she’d take to Kasiya’s and ducked into side roads and did a bunch of turns, to avoid her usual path. I knew she wouldn’t t know my car; however I couldn’t take the risk of her possibly seeing me. I was stopped at a red light and my knees were shaking with anticipation as my heart threatened to beat out of my chest. I pulled into the driveway of Kasiya’s parents place. I walked towards the back door and took my first step on their new deck noticing the fabulous job that was done on it. Tons of flashes of my memory came flooding back as I stood in front of the same door as I did many years ago. I smiled and took a deep breath before bringing my fist up to knock on it. I heard Kasiya’s mom yell that she was coming and when she opened the door to see me standing there with a playful smile. Her look was priceless as she fully opened the door. She was shocked to see me with a touch of disbelief playing on her features.

“Karen? When did you get here? Why aren’t you at Kasiya’s? Do Kasiya and Kathryn know? I’ll have to hit those girls for I didn’t get a phone call.” She declared as she stepped back allowing me into the house.

I took a look around and noticed all the renovations that were done to the place. I looked at Kasiya’s mother and smiled. She was a small lady in figure however if you knew her temper she was not one you wanted to cross that line with. The moment I took my shoes off I was embraced by the smaller woman and I knew that things were going to be great.

“Hiya mom. No they don’t know actually I wanted to surprise them. I got in last night actually. So this is when I get to ask you for a favour.” I took my usual seat at the back of the table as she went and poured me a cup of coffee.

“Do you need a place to stay? You are more than welcome here and you should know that, without asking for it.” She took her seat with her own cup

I couldn’t help but smile as the table was the very same one that stood in the same spot for years upon years. If only it could tell its stories of the four of us sitting around it, dancing around it and playing upon it. I wasn’t prepared for the option to live with her, however a part of me should’ve known better. I shook my head as I took a sip of the coffee from the mug I always used to use. The memories started to make my eyes water slightly.

“No mom actually I wanted you to call and talk to Matt to tell him I’m on my way to put aside an extra plate sneaky like. Also to make sure he answers the door, but make him lie to Kasiya that you called for a computer problem.” I smiled at her when I told her of my plans. She wasted no time as she picked up the phone and dialed the number that I knew so well.

“Hi Matt! I need you to do something for me. You need to pull out another plate as well make sure that you answer the door when its buzzed today. You’ll know why when you go but act like I need a computer problem solved when you answer me.” She stated and then there was silence. The last words were “Thank you bye.” She then clicked the end button on the cordless phone.

Kasiya’s mom placed it back on the table and grinned at me. I couldn’t be happier sitting here with her. We finished our coffee in record pace as she kicked me out the door making me promise to call with the reactions. I jumped off the deck as I ran into my car and sat there for five minutes calming myself down. I couldn’t get a ticket as I was heading towards home. I took a few deep breaths before turning the key in the ignition. I pulled out and headed down to Kasiya’s house.

I didn’t realize how fast I was going or how excited I truly was for I pulled into the parking lot within moments. As I exited the car and locked it up I heaved my back pack on my shoulder. It carried the presents for every one of them. I wanted to calm myself down a bit more knowing that my heart was still racing. I remembered the snow from the last time I was coming to her house like this; where I’d be dropping big news on their laps. Thankfully this was news I knew they would like. With each step I took a breath and smiled as I stood in front of the door. The sun was beaming and there was a slight breeze that was cooling the evening off. I wasn’t able to savor the moment any longer and buzzed the apartment number.

The door had glass panels and I could see as Matt came out of the apartment. He was really quick coming out of the door. As he turned to see me standing there he nearly jumped the full flight of stairs. He swung open the door with a grin as wide as his face. I couldn’t contain my excitement as I jumped into his arms hugging him close to me. As I snuggled into his arms and squeezed me and I could smell the cologne he had put on. He always impressed me never over doing it and to smell it you had to be close to him. I thankfully was able to control the squeal that wanted to escape.

“Hi Matty! This is why you need that extra plate for me. I want to surprise the girls. Can you go in and pretend it was a wrong buzzer?”
“Of course Karen, can’t wait to have you for dinner.”
“Hee hee no eating me for dinner now.” I giggled and winked at him as he shook his head as he climbed the stairs quickly.

I slowly started to take each step to calm my pounding heart. Each step was starting to be agonizing as I took it. I just wanted to be inside the place my heart called home. The energy of my anticipation was making me extremely bouncy and making it difficult to move quietly. I reached her door finally and I stopped to listen. I could hear a few muffled voices, and knew they were getting ready for supper. I held my breath as I placed my hand on the door knob. I turned it excruciatingly slow to not make a noise; I wasn’t ready to get noticed yet. I quickly stepped inside and stayed out of view.
Matty was in the kitchen being the first thing I saw as I entered and he motioned his hand to let me know right now was clear. I quietly shut the door behind me. I took a few steps into the apartment and noticed the changes right away. I took my shoes off and could see the couch was placed against the wall to be the first piece of furniture seen. She had a love seat sitting under the window and across from that was a matching chair. Beside the chair was the shelving unit holding all the games and movies. Along the wall what I was used of seeing was posters of games but it was filled now with pictures. The pictures varied from our younger years together to some of the pictures that I sent from the east coast. In the middle of the living room the coffee table was placed with glasses of different liquids. I noticed that Kasiya had placed the entertainment unit at the end in a way to separate the living room from the dining room and computer area. She still had her two computers set up against the far wall and the kitchen table beside that. They weren’t facing me they were watching something on the computer most likely something that Kathryn had found and wanted to show.

I was thankful that Lila hadn’t seen me yet or she would’ve blown my cover. I leaned against the entertainment unit and smiled at the two girls who were still focused on the computer screen. I was finally home and could finally feel it. I took a deep breath and a smirk came across my face I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“No I swear I’ve been framed! Never thought you’d do that to me!” I said loudly and couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face as both of them turned to me.

The expressions on their faces were priceless and identical. They had turned so quickly it nearly caught both of them off their balance, their mouths were hanging open and their eyes grew as wide as coffee mugs. I had placed them both into a bit of a shock as neither one of them moved or responded to my statement. As I looked them over time seemed to stop and their movements seemed to go in slow motion as Kasiya stood up from the chair she was sitting in and Kathryn took a step back bumping slightly into the desk. Time seemed to catch up to us as they both rushed me quickly with open arms. I wrapped an arm around each girl and squeezed them as much as I could. To feel their arms around me everything was complete everything was right. There was a lack of oxygen for all of us but we wouldn’t let go, not yet. It wasn’t long before I felt smaller hands trying to worm their way between the three of us. I giggled and we finally exited the embrace and I picked up my young niece.

“Auntie Karen! Is it visit time already?” She asked with a grin that could light up any room. I couldn’t believe how much she had grown in the past two years.
“No sweetie, its not visit time.” I told her as I squeezed her in my arms. “Auntie Karen came home, and has a new house for you to visit and everything.” I said and looked over at the two girls. They were a bit in disbelief.
“Kare-Bear…are you serious?” Kasiya spoke first with a slight squeak in her voice.
“In the very sense, a few doors down from here actually.”
“We have our Karen back?” Kathryn stated and her face held an expression of ‘if you’re lying I’m going to kill you.’ I had nodded and the smile that came across her face brought tears into my eyes.
“I’ve missed that smile so much. I’m back for good staying where I am home. I got a job working for a construction company to maintain their vehicles and get sub contracted out for some transports as well.” I told them how I had gotten to be home.
“That’s amazing! Congratulations!” Kasiya piped up and grappled me in another hug which was an interesting move since I still held Lila close to me. I looked over at Kathryn who mouthed it to me, and I returned with a silent thank you.
“Hey hey, this stomach is super growly hungry for some Kassie cooking!”

We all giggled and I placed my niece down as she got into her chair at the table. Matthew was getting all the stuff together and I smirked as I grabbed some plates from him and waved at him dismissively. He smiled and wrapped an arm around me quickly before taking his seat. Kathryn had pulled a chair up beside her as Kasiya sat beside Lila. I had finished setting the table up and got them each their drinks.

“Our wench is back! Whoo!” Kasiya cheered as she slapped my ass when I turned to grab myself a drink.
“About time I say! How dare she leave us to fend for ourselves!” Kathryn stated and gave me a wink.

I giggled at our inside joke and shook my head slightly. I sat down beside Kathryn and it felt like I had never left. This was how life was suppose to be. Together with your family with the people who complete you. Two years had passed since I had last seen them. Lila had grown and her manners were amazing at the table. Kathryn had dyed her hair to a darker colour which always suited her. Kasiya’s was dyed a lighter colour which was very new. We ate our dinner with a lot of chatter between the three of us. It was just idle chatter nothing serious and nothing that was a normal conversation at a dinner table. Lila had finished her dinner quickly and asked to be excused as she ran off to play with her toys. When we had finished our dinner I promptly stood up and started to clean the table up. All three of them attempted to stop me but I wouldn’t have it. This was always the way things were done and it didn’t seem that years had passed.

When the clean up was done Kasiya dialed her mothers number and I could hear her going a mile a minute telling her everything. I could hear her mother on the phone and giggled knowing that some things never changed. When it was brought up that Matthew helped with hiding me Kasiya slapped him on his arm and he gave his best puppy look. I placed myself on the loveseat under the window. I heard her apologize shortly after finding out that he really didn’t know who was going to be at the door until he saw me.

I stared out the window smiling at the sky. I was losing myself in my thoughts of home and how I could never leave this place again. It was torture for all three of us and how I managed to pull through in the years that I was out there I couldn’t say. I felt Kathryn lean against me and instinctively I placed my arms around here and kissed the top of her head. Mathew and Kasiya went to the couch and we continued to talk about the past two years. When it was time to put Lila to bed she had requested me to tuck her in. My heart swelled with emotions as I went through the routine that I knew so well. After tucking her in and kissing her good night on her forehead I returned to my spot with Kathryn. It was nearly midnight when we heard Kathryn curse which turned our conversation over.

“Eh?
“I have to go I need to bring the car back.” She groaned as she stood up.
“What if you go and say you’re spending the night?” I questioned.
“As much as I want to do that how am I getting back?” She gave me a look that stated I was being silly in asking.
“I can drive you back. We’ll go to your place and wait outside as you get stuff together and we can drive you to where you need to be tomorrow. Then we can hit the grocery store and pick up snacks for when we get back.” I smiled as I laid out the plan to them.
“Whee. Sleepover!” Kasiya giggled.

It didn’t take much convincing after that. Kathryn had jumped into her shoes and grabbed her keys saying that she’d see us in five minutes. The door closed behind her and I could only giggle as I started to get my keys. I stopped in front of Kasiya and took her hand in my own and squeezed it gently. We shared a smile with each other.

“It’s good to be home. I’ve missed you guys so much that it actually hurt me physically.”
“I’ve missed you too Kare-Bear. You are very much a valued and needed part of our trio.” She nodded to make her point.
“Care to go for a ride?” I grinned as she stood up and we headed out of the door together.

Kasiya and I got into my car as we drove down to Kathryn’s house. We didn’t have to wait long before she got into the car. We then took the now quiet roads down to the local twenty four hour grocery store. As we got inside it felt as if something took each of us over as we grabbed a cart and started to go down the aisle. The first was the fruit and vegetable row. As I pushed the cart along Kathryn and Kasiya were skipping along in front of me. As I started to giggle at them unable to really take part in the skipping they then started to do rather inappropriate things with the turnips and melons. I started to bust a gut as Kasiya would pick the biggest ones up and hold them to her chest and Kathryn who stood beside her placed her hands on them with a fake shocked face. We had decided not to get any thing in that aisle so we continued going through the store. We were laughing so much that it brought attention to us from the small amount of people who were working the night shift. When we weren’t being watched we would swap items around and change the cereal boxes and laugh hysterically as we bolted across and skipped a few rows. It never failed. Placing the three of us in the store something was bound to happen. I can’t believe that I had actually forgotten how crazy we all could be. We reached the checkout and I started placing items on the treadmill.

“Who is paying for what?” Kasiya piped up.

I could see the wheels turning in both of their heads as they were trying to calculate what each of us should pay for. The cashier was giggling at us as we were fighting over what should go where and I gave her a wink waving my bank card. Everything got scanned and we had a bagger placing things neatly. Kathryn and Kasiya both wore the same expression of confusion. I handed over my bank card with a smile.

“Take care of ladies. My first night with you both I am treating.” I said as I started to punch in my code.

After the approval went through and I grabbed the cart with our supplies they both walked up to me and slapped me hard on the arm. I knew they wouldn’t like that I did it but I was quicker than them and it amused me. We piled all into the back with Kasiya and Kathryn and I got in the front of my car as we headed out back to Kasiya’s for the night. We split up the bags evenly as we walked into Kasiya’s apartment.

We had thrown in a movie or a television show on DVD. Neither one of us were paying much attention to what was on the screen as we munched on our snacks and our beverages were really Shirley Temples. We were hyped up on sugar so much that most of the night was spent laughing and giggling without being able to understand the words but knowing what each was saying. We decided to give Matt some relief and headed outside for a walk. It was a beautiful evening and the scent that filled the nostrils was in its own way cleansing. I had Kasiya and Kathryn on either side of me and I couldn’t feel more complete as we in sync reached for each others hands.

During our walk we had run into a few drunks and punks but nothing too serious. Each time however Kasiya would squeeze my hand and I would only stand tall and not open my mouth. I giggled each time because she’d lean over and whisper a thank you. We were close to home again but decided to take a break at the guard rail that underneath was a decent sized stream. I leaned against it with the girls still on either side of me. We were really quiet as we gazed up into the night sky smiling at the stars. It wasn’t long after did Kathryn lean against me and placed her head on my shoulder. I could tell she was getting tired but didn’t want to admit it. I pushed off with my foot against the rail and pulled them both with me.

“Come on let’s get us back home and to bed we all need to sleep a while I think. Besides we have tomorrow too. You have to work Kathryn?”
“Yeah I start mid morning so sleep is something that I should do. But you still snore not sure if it’s possible” She said with a smirk at me.

We headed back and I pointed out my new house elaborating on what was in there and how empty it was, stating that I needed to do some furniture shopping to fill it up. The girls immediately had some ideas of how to decorate my home. We then decided that it should be something we do on the days off and work on it together.

The group of us got into Kasiya’s apartment once again and noticed Matt had gone to bed. Kasiya giggled and went down the hall to grab us some pillows and blankets. After handing them over to Kathryn and I she went and curled up with Matt in her own bed. Kathryn was quick and jumped at the couch to set up her bed, leaving me with the loveseat. It was a tight fit as I lied down but I was used to it really.

I lied awake in the darkness. My eyes weren’t shutting on me I was far too excited really. They were my world, no wonder why it hurt so much being so far away. They knew I didn’t want to talk about my break up right away or what was going on in my life. These were two people who understood me better than anyone. I may be a very predictable person however they knew what to bring up, when and how. I recalled being out on the east coast and realized I was never fully myself and it was really nice to be me again. With Jess I had only moments where I felt decent. However more time spent with her I felt shifted and torn. Nothing was right and nothing was good. I finally decided to tell her this and that we weren’t meant to be. I really didn’t think I should be with anyone fully for no one could complete me more than these two. Knowing that being with someone it would just cause friction and more fights.

The thoughts continued to swarm my head so I sat up and looked over at Kathryn. Even in the darkness I could see her chest moving rhythmically. I knew she was actually asleep and I smiled for the first time she was passed out before me. I heard her teeth chatter a few times and realized that Kasiya’s house was actually cold in temperature. I grabbed my blanket and quietly got up to place it over her. I sat down upon the floor leaning against the couch arm. I would always try my best to protect these two with everything I had. Without them I’d be nothing, and I always questioned if they knew it or not.

At some point during the night I had fallen asleep on my spot beside Kathryn. I had fallen over onto the floor causing me to wake up to the sun peeking through the curtains. I smiled and started to stretch out my cramped muscles to see Lila peeking around the corner at me. I giggled and she came running at me into a hug. I put on a movie for her and we watched a bit together with her in my lap. I put her down on the loveseat telling her I had to start cooking breakfast as she decided she’d want eggs.

I went into the kitchen and started preparing some eggs for Lila. I moved around with ease as I chopped up some vegetables and cheese for omelets. I started the coffee pot knowing that the others would be waking soon. As I whipped up the eggs, Lila had pulled one of her small chairs to the edge of the kitchen to sit and watch me. I put in some bread in the toaster. I started to hum and Lila would sway in her chair as I set the table. I shooed her away to get ready for school which she promptly got up and went to her room to pick out her clothes and prepare her back pack.

The coffee pot beeped loudly as I turned to see Kasiya sleepily standing in the archway rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She took one look around and smiled at me and reached into her cupboard to get her mug of coffee. Matt wasn’t far behind her mimicking her actions. Both chuckled softly as they brought their cups to the living room to a still sleeping Kathryn. I made up three plates and placed them on the table as I went beside the couch and knelt down to wake the still sleeping form. Kathryn grumbled slightly but sat up and stretched. Lila came out dressed in a cute pink dress and a smile. I picked her up and made up her small plate as everyone gathered around the table. Lila wasted no time to dig into her breakfast. I grabbed a coffee and my plate taking my seat. The group of us looked at each other and started to bust out laughing. It was always an inside joke to have us all live together however in a larger place.

“Thanks for the coffee and the breakfast hun.” Kasiya smiled as she started to cut up her omelet.
“Great way to start the day.” Matt said nodding not even chewing.
“So glad to have you back Karen.” Kathryn smiled as she started into her breakfast.
“Thank you Auntie Karen. Can I sleep over at your house next time?”
“Of course sweetie just not on a school day.” I smiled at her giving her a small wink.

I looked at everyone eating away at their plates and enjoyed the idle chatter through it. Kathryn had a strange dream through the night and made sure Lila wasn’t looking before tossing a piece of her eggs at me for covering her up. Kasiya stated that she had the best sleep in a long time. I made a silent vow at this point to never be in pain being away from them again. Kathryn and Matt got up and started to get ready for their days at work, Kasiya and I started to clean up the kitchen.

We piled into the car and we drove Matt to work first and Lila to school. Kathryn we dropped off with promises to pick up at the end of her shift. Kasiya and I then went back to my house so she could give it a look over. We then went cruising to different stores to pick up items to start decorating and adding colour to my home. By the time that was done we jumped back over to her apartment and started to get supper ready.

I noticed the time and gave Kasiya a hug leaving her with supper as I jumped into my car to pick up Kathryn from her work. We swung by in time to catch Matt standing at the bus stop. As we got back to the apartment we caught Lila getting off the bus from school. We got in to see Kasiya still busy in the kitchen so I quickly grabbed us each something to drink. I left Kasiya in the kitchen as I carried the three glasses out to the living room. I sat and listened to Matt and Kathryn go on about there day at work, as I went on to tell them that Kasiya and I had gone to different stores. We then sat down and had a wonderful dinner. After clean up we were back in the living room flipping through channels.

I don’t know what triggered it however I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. My throat had tightened up and my nose tickled and I could feel it itch. My eyes were extremely blurry in vision as more tears welled up in them. Kasiya and Kathryn wrapped their arms around me and held me close to each of them as I continued to bawl freely in their embrace. I felt Lila come over and place her small hand on my knee, trying to be reassuring. Her action as sweet as it was caused me to cry more knowing that I was loved and I was home finally.

“I love you guys so much. This day and last night meant the world to me. You both complete me in ways that I didn’t know about. You each are like a piece of my puzzle that clips in perfectly. You both are what I need to make me who I am. I need you guys with me always and forever. You are my true family.
“Kasiya, Kathryn…I don’t know where I’d be without you two. I got through those years out there alone because I knew I would be back. I didn’t think it would’ve affected me so much. I thought I was strong enough, but I learned without you both I’m weak, I’m lost, I’m not complete, I’m broken and in pain. You guys have been there with me through everything. Going through this break up, going through school still, and being fully alone out there was the hardest thing I had to do.
“Being away was so hard and it was so hurtful I didn’t know some days if I could go on. I ached just to come for coffee, to sleep on your couch, to laugh and to joke. My heart was broken into many different pieces having that distance against us. I was never out of my place without your pictures with me. I carried them so I could feel like I wasn’t alone. My skin burned for hugs from you both, as my feet were determined that they would walk through the distance. When either of you were in pain I wanted to be there to hold you so much it was killing me Also when you graduated Kathy I couldn’t have been more proud of you. I cried all that day because I was so happy for you and I couldn’t be there for you it was one of the worst days out there.
“What kept me going, what kept me strong was if I could get back here in one piece I knew it would be alright. That you two can make it alright, you both make it better and you make me whole and let me be myself. Remind me never to be stupid and leave town without you both.” I said through my tears and sniffles.

“You got it Karen. Hit you with a …”
“…a bat if you try again.” Kathryn cut Kasiya off and finished her sentence. It wasn’t the first time nor was it going to be the last that she would do that.
“Or we could take a less violent approach and just chain you to the apartment.” Kasiya suggested with a smile.
“We can’t do both? Cause where is the fun in just that?” Kathryn countered giving off a grin, kyboshing the less violent idea.
“We missed you too Kare-Bear. We are family. If there was a word that made it stronger that’s what we’d be. For that’s what we are.” Kasiya said and squeezed me tightly.
“The three of us complete each other…we’re soul mates really.” Kathryn stated and wrapped her arms around Kasiya in her embrace.
“We do need to keep our wench to keep us together…” Kasiya stated kissing my cheek after wiping away the tears.

My cheeks were wiped by each of them as my tears started to slowly come to a halt. My nose had stopped running letting the sniffles leave me. I was home, I was complete, and I was where I belonged. People search for years sometimes their entire life to feel what I was feeling. Stuck on the idea that a soul mate is meant to be a partner. If they changed their mindset would they find the peace within themselves as we have all managed to find? I was foolish and left this once, I would never do it again. I had my home, my family and my life here. I had no need to continue searching for it. Strange what we do in our lives. We leave in searching for something only to wind up at the beginning to realize what we needed was always with us.

I wrapped an arm around each of them and held them close to me; they were my reason for everything and anything.