Only In New York

Ahhh! 5:30am and the B52 is on time. It’s on time mostly every morning and I’m

greeted with a cheery good morning from my regular driver. I make my way to an

empty seat and start to relax. As the bus gracefully glides through the early

morning streets I start to wonder if I’m making the right choice. You see, I’ve been

taking the 4 train only to Grand Central then transferring to the Metro North for the

rest of my trip to Yonkers. I’ve been riding the Metro North for about 2 years now.

It’s always on time, very dependable. I can count on one hand how many times the

Metro North has been late. And remember we are talking 2 years. Pretty good!

Well, because of financial reasons I decided to give up the Metro North and take 4

train to the Bronx and then connect to a bus going to Yonkers. I thought how bad

could it be.  The first 2 weeks were pretty good. I arrived in the Bronx in time to

connect to the Bee Line bus and I got to work about 7:15. I thought to myself “ I’d

still be on the Metro North train at 7:15. I now had enough time to eat breakfast and

get some work done while it was still quite. Why didn’t I do this sooner! Well, I

spoke too soon.  My train can’t seem to get to my stop on time anymore. I can’t

understand why? We sometimes sit at the station for a few minutes because of

train traffic.

There seems to be more traffic underground than there is above ground. I’m a little

discouraged but not beaten. I’m confidant this is just something that will happened

only once in a while and not daily. I just have to be patient.

One morning I get to my station and there are more people on the platform than

usual. A little advice, if you see the platform is more crowded then usual, it means

one of two things. The train is late or there are just no trains running and people are

just wondering around aimlessly hoping beyond hope that a train will magically

appear. After waiting for at least 15 minutes I hear an announcement. I say to

myself, Ok now everyone hush!! They are about to tell us when the train will arrive!!!

“Ladies and gentlemen, due to blah blah blah there are no 2,3 or 4 trains. Please

take the Q at the DeKalb station and Blah blah blah!!!!” Ok ok, it’s ok, I’ll get

through this. Stay calm. Be patient. I will get through this! Do you know why?

Because I’m a New Yorker!!! We go thorough this all the time and we manage. Like

cattle, the station agents are herding us up the stairs through the turnstile and out

of the station. I’m wearily making my way to the Dekalb station when my right eye

started to twitch. I stop and get a hold of myself and continue on my way. An hour

later I’ve arrive at Grand Central. Before getting on the Metro North I decided to see

if the 4 trains started running again. Guess what. The train is now running. “HA ha

ha!!” My eye is twitching again. Shake it off girl your ok. I’ll save my money and

take the 4 train instead of the Metro North. I calmly get on the crowded train and

lean against the doors. The conductor looks at me with a disapproving eye. “Yes! I

know I should not lean against the doors because they can open and I could fall

out!!! Whatever!!!” Ok, calm down breathe in breathe out. Calm…..calm…… But my

knees are starting to swell, the guy in front of me smells like he ate a whole garlic

for breakfast and the lady behind me has on too much perfume!

AHHHHH!!!!  Calm….calm….. Hold my breath a few minutes, no bad idea, about to

pass out. Breathe! So far I’ve only been on average 10 to 20 minutes late for work.

Boss is not happy. Well neither am I! You drive to work everyday I depend on mass

transit! Get over it!!! I’m here right!!!

    The next week or so it’s been either train traffic, police activity, sick passengers

or trains that have just given up and broke down. But I have not given up!! This will

get better. One morning while waiting for a train I watched as an almost empty, #2

train gleefully dashed in and out of the Nevins street station. With aching and stiff

knees I walk over to a map and see if I can still take the 2 train to 149th Grand

Concord and connect to the 4 train. It’s usually empty by the time it gets to 149th

street. Yeah, maybe that will work. Like an evil villain I hunch over and rub my

hands together while plotting my route for the next day. Ha ha!!! 4 train!!! You will

not beat me!!  As I’m giggling to myself I notice people staring at me. I yell to

them “Well!! What are you looking at! Haven’t you seen someone plotting and

scheming before!! Turn around and mind your business!!”

    Happily the next day I can see the headlights of a 2 train at the next station. I

smile. I’m happy again. The ride was wonderful! I made it to work on time.

The next morning I see the train at the next station. The lights are getting

closer…closer…what!!! Wait no!! The train is moving to the 4 track!!! Why!!!

No Problem. I’ll just wait. There has to be a 2 train pulling in any minute now. 15

minutes go by and still no 2 train. It’s getting late I’ll have to take the next 4 train

that comes in. 

The 4 train, packed solid, is slowly dragging itself into the station. Wait! Is this train

laughing at me! Yes it is. It’s laughing at me!!! Ok you won this round. I fling my fist

up in the air and say, “You have won this round, but tomorrow is another day!!!!! “Oh

boy, I just sounded like Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With the Wind!
         
The announcer starts to say, “Due to…” yah yah yah! Whatever! It just doesn’t

matter at this point. The doors open and I try to squeeze into a small space. The

doors close, but we don’t move for a few minutes. What’s wrong now lets go

already.  Just then, an empty 2 train pulls in on the opposite track. The people who

were not able to get on the train I was on happily boarded the empty train. I start

banging on the door hoping the conductor will open the door. I start to yell, “Oh

please open the door, I changed my mind I need to get off! I want to go with the

happy people!!!” It’s no use.  I thought to myself, with a tear in my eye, if I had just

waited a few seconds, I’d be one of those happy people over there. My eye is

twitching again.
         
    The next thing I remember was waking up in a little room with padded walls and

something tugging at my arm. I try to focus my eyes to see what the tugging could

be. I finally see 2 men in white coats, trying to pry something from my hands. Well

what on earth are they trying to pry out of my hand? Well, it looks… like a, No it

can’t be! Well, it sure is. In my hand is a large gray door. The train door?  Oh, and

what’s this in my other hand. It’s a blue shirt. Is this the conductor’s shirt? Well,

what do you know, it is! Well, honestly I don’t remember anything about how they

got in my hands, but the doctor says if I keep taking these little pills I should be

able to go home in a few weeks! Isn’t that great!!