How?

I suppose it comes as no surprise to anyone about this entry, I made. Of course, this entry is being written to make my personal feelings felt. The source, of course, was a woman that I love very deeply. The woman is sitting across from me listening to music, her mind set is on someone and something else, I think. I seems almost odd that I could still lover her, even after all of this weirdness. The fact is, that I do love her with all my heart.

What is the reason for the love? Well, I have to tell you that it is everything in one single package. She is, of course, very beautiful. Her mind is erratic, but determined. Her heart is in the right spot, but that is where the problems begin to unfold. She says that she still loves me, but she has feeling for another. The reason for the breakup is quite simple, I don't inspire her. Huh? I am still a little puzzled about this statement. Inspiration comes from many different venues, not a single person. I wonder if Marlon Brando divorced his wife, because she didn't inspire him? Probably not. I know that she is frustrated with her life and job. I know that she wanted to be doing many other things than what she is doing, but is that a reason to end a relationship with a person. I know, any reason is a good reason, but is that all there is? Can there be many reasons to end a relationship with another? I think so.

She says that I am the template for all the future relationships, I appreciate that but still, how do you love someone so deeply that it hurts. Pain can be an emotional and physical problem. Mine is so deeply rooted in my heart that it makes me bleed. So this is how it feels, to finally meet your soulmate and have them leave.

Yes, I said that she is my soulmate. I believe it with all my heart. Alas, she told me the other day, that she has heard countless stories about soulmates that are no longer together. I wonder where she heard these stories?

Still she sits across from me, I wonder if her heart is still intact after the sudden break up? I wonder if she is begining to give her heart to another person? I wonder what he has that I don't. Probably money. That seems to make the world go round and round. I once heard a line a movie go something like this:

"To get the girl, you have to have power. To get power, you have to get the money. To get the money you have to do things you would never do. Then you get the girl."

Strong words from a simply odd movie. Those of you who know the movie, know what I am talking about. Those of you who don't, please watch it sometime. Scarface....Al Pacino.

I wonder what it is that she needs most? A successful music career? To open a business? To move to Greece? The answer...All the above.

I end this essay with this thought...How do you keep loving someone so much, that it hurts. Every day I wake up and fall in love all over again, the reality sets in and my heart breaks. So, this is how it feels to find love.