My Welcome Home

It was June as I stared out the window of the plane, I selfishly dreamed of all the things about home all babies of the family do.  My imagination wandered to home-cooked meals of chicken and dumplings, time fishing with Dad, and reliving stories of my semester with Mom.  I craved attention.  It's the ultimate gift the youngest child is given as a birthright.

Mom had mentioned a surprise; I couldn’t figure out what it could be, but the anticipation seemed to dance inside my stomach. 

Waiting at the airport, I knew Mom would drum her fingers while she watched the clock; Dad would fret about getting home in time to feed the cattle.  But inside they would both be thinking, I’m so glad my baby’s coming home.  I smiled at the thought. 

When the plane landed I pushed my way to the front of the aisle with the zeal of a quarterback going for a touchdown.  My thirst for attention was about to be quenched!  No one was holding me back.  I rushed into their arms.  I was oblivious to everything else; after all it was my moment.  As we broke our embrace I saw a look on my mother’s face that I couldn’t place.

With arrant calm she said a few short words that would shake my world forever.  “Audra, I’d like you to meet Teal, Scarlet, and Violet.”

I hadn't even noticed three little girls standing by my parents.  Little girls I had never heard of.  Little girls who all had names that were colors.  Little girls that were looking at me like I was the one that didn’t belong in this scene. 

I could see the calm fading from my mom slightly.  “I’m their guardian,”

As I jerked my head quickly to my dad, he finally chimed in, “Oh, I am too.  We both are.  Their guardians, I mean.”  Nervous, was not an emotion I'd seen my dad possess before.

My mother kept plugging along ignoring the incredulous look that had overtaken my face.  “Girls, this is Audra from Arizona.”

The oldest girl, who looked about eight, started screaming at least an octave higher than any opera singer I'd ever heard and hid behind my father’s legs in fear of me.  .

All movement in the airport seemed to stop and stare; my mom went into comforting mode.  She whispered to me, “She’s a xenophobic.”

“Like the Warrior Princess Xena?  I look nothing like her.  Mother, what is wrong with her?  Make her stop!”  These were not the first words I had envisioned I would be saying to my parents upon my arrival.  Nor, I'm sure, were they the words my parents were hoping I would profess.

“A xenophobic is afraid of people from other countries.  She must think Arizona is another country.  Just give her a minute.”

As I rolled my eyes waiting for the waterfall of tears to subside, I tried to grasp this new situation.  Did my parents think that three little sisters were going to be music to my ears? My parents were getting older; they wouldn’t be able to harness the energy that three little girls had. My mind kept going to the unimportant fact that they were all named after colors.  I almost started giggling inappropriately thinking my name could be Ruby, my older sister Mauve, and my brother Gray. 

Finally the screaming diminished to convulsing sobs, so we made our way to the car.  One big happy family.  A thought suddenly struck me.  “Mom, was this my surprise?”

Her patient demeanor was gone, frustration taking over.  I got the raised eyebrow, and warning I had become familiar with at a very young age, “Not a word, Audra Lea.”

Unbelievably, it began to rain.  I think the heavens were crying for all of us, especially me.  The irony almost made me laugh again, but I knew better.  In my head I thought, “You could have given us an umbrella to borrow, God.”

My parents had never even talked about having foster children so I knew something remarkable had to have happened.  I wasn’t ready to hear it, accept it, or like it.  I wasn’t ready to hand over my title of baby of the family, but I was curious.

Getting situated in the car was another adventure. I ended up with the middle one, Scarlet, on my lap; both of us sitting stiff and uncomfortable.  As Dad started the car, classical music played on the radio.  Before I had a chance to say, “Change the station,” he explained it was the only way Teal could ride in the car without getting sick. These kids had hangups.  Part of me wondered why they couldn’t find three normal kids, and the other part wondered what had gone on in these poor girls’ lives. 

Violet handed me a note.  On it was a house, my house. In neat, printed letters was written “WELCOME HOME AUDRA.”  I was admittedly touched by the time she must have taken on it.  I gave her a smile; she turned away. 

I glanced over at Teal, the one who needed to listen to classical music and thought I was Xena from another country.  She had yarn and was wrapping it around her index finger and then unwrapping it over and over.  I didn’t even ask.  I figured it was another “coping” skill.

Scarlet, the one on my lap, began to relax, and I saw a lambent object in her arms.  I tried discreetly to look over her shoulder to see exactly what she had.  Without even looking at me, she said flatly, “It’s a Glow Worm.”  As if daring me to make fun of her or take it away.

I couldn’t help but smile at her independence.  I replied.  “Hey, I use to have one of those.  I was scared of the dark.”

“It was yours.  Now it's mine.”  She curled into me like a kitten

I didn’t know the story of these girls yet, past or future, but I now knew what my parents must have felt already.  It was a passion, almost a voice inside, that said, “Your family needs them as much as they need your family.”