Majesty

MAJESTY

majesty

         As I lay motionless, I was filled with conflicting emotions, fear being the most prominent.  Where was I?  The huge oak tree above me looked vaguely familiar with its multi-colored autumn leaves; strangely, I found the sight somehow soothing, yet unsettling at the same time.  Why would that be?  After all, trees seemed to look alike this time of year.
         
              Beyond the tree nothing appeared recognizable.  However, my sight was limited, but I was determined - I continually searched for something that would resemble home, some glimpse of safety, a reassurance of the familiarity we seek when facing the unknown.  Nothing ever appeared.  The surroundings weren't at all distinctive,  trees, grass, and leaves.  If I could roll over or even maneuver myself to a different angle, maybe I could glimpse a clue to where I was or how I had gotten there. 

         I had come to the realization hours earlier that I was completely numb - paralyzed I suppose. No feeling existed anywhere, except of course inside me where panic gripped me.  It was as if someone or something had cut or destroyed all my nerve endings . .. . or had taken away my life support.  Therefore, my sight was limited to the towering oak tree, and the few leaves and grass that my peripheral vision could grasp. My futile struggle to move even an inch had done nothing but weaken my spirit and add support to the theory of paralysis.  Wait a minute - maybe I wasn’t paralyzed - maybe I was dead!  I realize as you read this sipping your coffee in the safety of your home the idea seems unrealistic.  After all, how could I be deceased if I had thoughts and emotions?  The question occurred to me more than once.  But, we don’t actually know what death is like, do we?  And, keep in mind, I felt as if all growth in my body was gone.  I had never consciously felt growth before, but now its absence was entirely too apparent.  So question my sanity if you must, but realize there is not any who has felt, or rather not felt, what I was.

         I couldn't determine what was under me, and this bothered me greatly.  I had the morbid thought of worms eating their way inside my defenseless body.  Using my insides to continue their growth and life.  Jealousy and disgust burned deep within me.  I tried to block such thoughts out, but when one thought vanished, a worse image would replace it.  I turned my complete focus on how I might have arrived at this unfamiliar place.  My mind drew a blank.  These surroundings represented an entirely different world than the one I was accustomed to.  Could that even be possible?  Was there another world similar to mine?  Another dimension, like I had envisioned in my day dreams?  As impossible as it sounds, maybe that’s why everything is familiar but different. . . . possibly - out of proportion.  Oh, what was the point of these torturous thoughts?  I longed to be safe and secure in surroundings where things like this were only fantasy.  I convinced myself that I must be slowly going insane to even entertain the thought of being in another world.  But I assure you, reader, I was not insane- this was real and no dream of the mind - it was happening.

          I did not know if I was hot or cold, comfortable or uncomfortable.  I heard a soft, peaceful sound, but for the longest time it was unidentifiable.  As I listened more intently to the soothing rhythm, I began to realize what it was.  Maybe it wasn’t just the sound, but more the combination of it with the wrinkled, damp, dying leaves lying beside me.  They reminded me of myself . . . . once filled with so much life and now destined to wither up and perish.

         The rippling interrupted my self-pity filled thoughts.  A creek provided the lullabye.  Realizing I must be on the bank, damp all over erased some of the comfort the river's song had provided.  I knew if I could feel I would have been extremely uncomfortable. The multi-color of the leaves reminded me that autumn was well upon us.  I  deduced that I was cold, wet, and lying in mud - certainly not my idea of an ideal bed.  For a split second, I thought perhaps it was a blessing I had no feeling, but that was entirely wrong.  I cursed myself for such a thought.  I would have given anything to feel alive again.

         Frustration engulfed my being.  It seemed to overtake all my other emotions like a boa constrictor squeezing the life out of its prey.  I  longed to know what the future had in store for me . . . . if anything at all.  I knew to give up hope was wrong, but what was I to hope for?

              I pondered the unthinkable: “How could things get worse?”  Yes, I knew better than to ask such a question, but consider my situation.  As if in answer, there came a great, bounding splash in the creek!  At first I was hopeful - maybe it was my hero coming to save me from this terrible destiny.  Apparently the little girl hoping for her Prince Charming still lived in me - for a moment.  However, within seconds, before the “thing” was within eyesight, all emotion drained from my body, replaced by pure terror.  Had I not already been feeling pure terror?  No, not like this. It seemed the world had stopped and was holding its breath until the thing passed.  I could hear it approaching the place that was now my temporary home.  My home with no shelter.  My home that I shared with a couple of dead leaves!  The splashing stopped, but was replaced with the disgusting sound of mud squishing between the thing’s toes.  The leaves next to me were rustling; it appeared from fear, but more logically it was the vibration of the earth.  As I strained to see this incredible monster, my short life passed before me.  I could sense his presence.  One quick movement of the “thing” and I saw before me the most devastating creature.  I cursed the gods for not also blinding me.  If destruction were to come, why must I have to face it?  I pleaded for the things I had begged to be spared from earlier - insanity or death.
 
         I had to be in a different world, dimension, universe.  Nothing like this  existed where I came from. All I could focus on were its teeth.  They appeared larger than the rest of its face.  And the color - what color was that?  A disgusting yellowish-gray.  I cringed at the thought of them encircling my helpless body.  He was a quick moving thing to be as large as he was.  He would pause once in awhile and stand deadly still; it was at these times that I felt he was sensing my vulnerability.  He was on a mission, seeking me.  I wanted to scream, but had no voice.  I wished I could push myself deeper into the mud to hide from this terror.  I could hear his heavy breathing.  The crunching sounds the leaves made as they died beneath his heavy claws were screams of horror to my ears.  I cried for them.  I wanted to be up in the safe arms of the oak tree away from this monster. 

         As frightened as I was, jealousy and anger raced in my heart as well.  Why should something so putrid and destructive have a functional body, while I lay without any defense?  His pace slowed considerably; he was stalking now - toying with me.  The hideous being’s dark, evil eyes pierced through me.  He grinned at the thought of my bad fortune.  As I braced myself for his certain pounce that would bring my demise, the sky opened and a blinding light descended from heaven.  The creature scurried to safety before I  realized what had happened. 

         The clouds were now dark and gray; thunder pounded from every direction. Drops began splashing in the creek; I felt the heavens must be crying for me.  The rain had saved me, but now what did it hold in store for me?  I couldn't protect myself from the lightning or other forces of nature the storm brought.  The mammoth oak tree began to bend with the ferocious wind.  I felt it would surely break, crushing my body as it met its death.  But it proved to be strong, holding sturdy in the storm.  It was a battle it had fought and won many times.  Some branches cracked and snapped, but the old tree would not give in.  Watching the oak brave the storm made me ashamed of the fear and pity I had so easily embraced.  The tree gave me a certain strength.  I almost felt as it were a part of me.

         Holding strong to my new resolve helped, but it didn’t make all the dangers disappear.  The storm brought with it a fear I had never contemplated.  The creek was rising.  With each minute of relentless rain the water was closer to my body.  The storm, once my savior, was now my enemy.  With this new foe came dusk which would soon be followed by night.  “Please Old Oak, give me more strength, for darkness terrifies me,” I pleaded.  After all, night brings nothing good - just more monsters, more terror, more helplessness.  I watched the creek inch upon me seeking to cover me in a watery coffin.  I listened to the storm raging on. Again I found myself looking at the oak tree fighting endlessly.  What more was it than I?  It had weathered battles and yet remained big, strong, and beautiful.  I faithfully watched the oak tree until, thankfully, sleep overtook my weary mind.

         How long I slept I have no idea, but when I awoke the world was different.  The sun was shining.  The rays beat down upon me.  It took a moment to register, but I could feel the heat!  I had feeling again!  My body was alive and growing.  The dirt actually felt soothing.  The water seemed to have penetrated my body.  Nature healed me.  Looking up at the oak tree standing so majestic and proud, I realized everything I could become.  After all, that royal oak tree had once been an acorn like me.