Silence of the Night

Silence of the Night

It was a cold night in Cedar Creek County, so cold that the air I exhaled turned steadily to a chilled misty fog. As I walked to the lot assigned to us by Mr. Herring, our principal, for the Homecoming dance I heard a short, silent giggle from the opposing parking spaces. My heart was racing and it nearly skipped a beat when I glanced at the little Honda the principal owned. It held colored streamers of all sorts and those sticky party sprays that were meant to be harmless fun. Then, staring silently I unlocked the door to my car and shifted my inattentive vision to the starry vacant sky that seemed to break through me as if it were the chisel and I the ice. The stars in all their glory, wonder, and uncertainty seemed harmless shining a sky as black as pitch.
For many students at our sprawling high school this would be the end of the evening. They would gather up their belongings and drive safely to the comforts of their parents or relatives homes. I sighed, the time when I had known safety was a comfort was in a time when these people hadn't existed around me. It was when the coldness of hatred had pierced every living part of my body and fed off of me. I couldn't recollect on the fallen objectives of my youth. Now I lived with my mother and my father which coincidentally seemed like two heartless empty shells. My brother Shawn hadn't been seen since he turned 18 just four short years before. That was when the worst of my life had started.
He would have loved to see me at the dance, with all my friends and people I seemingly cared about in an insubstantial way. Shawn had never really loved anybody with my lonely soul as the exception. I was his little sister in a calming sort of way, and at 14 I hadn't been ready for that shock to come into my system. His girlfriend Tessa had come out in her sick ways purring and begging for the attention of negligent bystanders who didn't understand one way or another. She made a scene one morning about how he adored her and loved her with all of his heart, but felt the need to leave on his own because of her loving kindness. Yea right, Shawn had gotten away from the past after he graduated from high school. I hadn't told anyone...yet that he had left me a small note tucked in a safe nitch underneath my floor panels. It had read:


Corrine,
If you're reading this than I have already left. I didn't mean to go so soon but the facts were in my face. Tessa was expecting me to propose and live with her which we all know could never have happened. The other reason for my departure is of a much more strenuous and serious note. One day you will find out my secret, but until then little sister live your life and watch your back. I'll come back for you one day; you must not worry about that. Mom and Dad won't care, they never have. When you leave tell Tessa I told you I never loved her, and tell her it was in a note I left you. She will understand. Tell Mom she needs to take good care of the new baby. You may ask me...what new baby? You will see. As for father, tell him you love him before he leaves, it will be the last time you have that chance. Finally, let Ricky Housman into your life. He loves you like he does Marissa and will treat you with the same dignity and respect.
P.S. Please live life to the fullest, for me. Think of my when the moon rises, and the fades. This will be my day.
Love you little sis,
Shawn

I smiled reluctantly as the letters' words passed through my mind. I had never had the courage to tell my best friend Marissa what he had said. Ricky was her father but that is another story all together I suppose. Tessa did tell me shortly after that she wanted Shawn to propose to her and have a life with her. When she left that year I told her about the note and what Shawn had said. She was thankful I had the nerves to tell her and promised not to tell anyone until I made it public myself. Maybe she had some good in her, but not enough to make up for the losing facts. I turned the key and let the engine run its dull whisper and cranked up What I've Done by Linkin Park. As the music filled my ears with its numbing roar I pulled out into the open wilderness of the highway. I was going just near 60 mph and saw some car stop some feet in front of me. In a mad rush I slammed on the breaks with my head filling with prayers of safety and now concern for whoever was in front of me. Luckily I stopped an inch or so behind the vehicle which started to make its' again down the highway.
Thanking God for saving my butt from getting in a traffic accident with my new car I turned down the music and heard the cell phone in my middle compartment ring. The whiny ringtone let me know my mother wanted to know my whereabouts. I picked it up putting the phone on speaker so I wouldn't diminish my driving ability.
"Hello mom," I said curving my way through the endless turns and straight stretches, "What do you need or want?"
"When are you going to be home," she said in panicked lecture tone, "I was expecting you at about 10:00 pm!"
"The dance wasn't even over until 10:30 pm, and I got held up saying bye to my friends," I said with the annoyance I'd let go for the evening hours, "Besides, I told you I'd be home around 11 to 11:30 pm mom."
"We never agreed on that, I told you 10 pm and I know I'm right," my mother said trying to bargain me into trouble.
"Yes we did and I'm driving so were going to wait to finish this until I get home, bye mom," with a shrug and a loud scream on the other end I hung it up. She called back several times but I decided to let my voice mail pick it up. I pulled into the well lit lot of the gas station and ran through her messages. All she told me was that I wouldn't be 18 for another 2 months and that meant that I still had to live by her rules...unfortunately.
Once again I was back on the winding road and soon coming up to my house. Our house was a pale blue which shutters tapering off from the windows. They were a deep dark blue and through them you could see the creamy colors of drapes hanging near almost every window. Then out front were pillars that seemed to be at least 20 or more feet up (exaggeration!) that held up the porch in lavish content. Our outside door was a pretty glass one with intricate designs flowing in mellow clear print. On the inside was a wooden door of oak gleaming black from its recent coat of paint. Inside it was nothing short of a picture book.
The furniture was mostly modern being black leather and smooshy. The rocker was a bit antique but that was from my grandmother Caprice Hawthorne. Then there was a stretching LCD screen T.V. that was enjoyed by all on the paneled wall. Up above us there was an overhead projector for movies and video games which so many people came over just to use. Beyond that there was only a basement, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, the kitchen, dining room, and indoor pool room. It was more than modest but it fit my parents taste. See we aren't exactly poor, nor rich but not nearly poor. That's one thing I hate, my mother flaunts it around that we have more money than so many in our town. My mother and father both try to get me to show our wealth, but that's not who I am.
My bedroom is offbeat entirely from the rest of the house. The walls are a silky blue-gray and the carpet matches perfectly. I have a bunk bed which is oak painted in a deeply dark brown color accentuating the overcast feel of the bedroom. My computer desk is a modern black colored wood with a computer chair like one of those CEO guys. I have two windows both with dark blue drapes which look gorgeous against the silky walls. My closet is built in the wall and has everything a girl could ever need. By bathroom is nearly the same and is as modern as everything else in the house. The only room that was different was Shawn's. The walls were painted in reds and blacks with no hint of lighting. Black lights hung on the ceilings and walls to give it an eerie and evil look. My parents never went in there. A long time ago my brother had boarded up the windows and lived in bleak solitude when he wasn't. But never mind that...I was soon going to stumble upon something new.
Chapter One:
I pulled into the drive way and right away I knew something was faintly odd. An evil feel crept around my car and I clutched the wheel till my knuckles were white. Through the corner of my eye I saw a shadow against the garage wall. My first reaction was going to call the police, but then my mother would be more worried than normal. Then I saw another thing, my father's car wasn't there and that was highly unusual. My father never left in the middle of the night, he always classified the evenings as family time. Assuring myself that nothing was wrong and it was just my weary mind playing tricks I got out of the car stumbling, and almost fell. I caught myself on the hinge of my car door and slowly shut it without much sound.
"Hello there," a deep, dark voice mumbled from the shadowy night, "It's been a long time since I have come back here to see you. You've grown; I didn't realize you'd be driving so soon." I started to panic and I saw thoughts flicker through my mind. I didn't know who he was or why he was here, but I figured the best thing to do was leave. Instead I replied to his irrational sentences of knowing who I was.
"I don't know you, you must have the wrong residence and wrong girl," I muttered in what seemed like frustration and total fear, "Who are you and why did you come to find me?"
"That would be quite simple if you just recognized my voice and... my name," he said with a glimmer of amusement in his tone, "My name is Shawn Maurice Hawthorne, hi Carissa." I was in such shock I couldn't even believe it was real. Right in front of me was the person I had dreamed of seeing again. The brother whom I had loved and adored, who had kept me rooted to my precious hometown while he went out exploring the world.
"Sha...Sha...Shawn, is that really you," I said moving slowly towards the shadow created by the expanse of garage overhead.
"Yes sis, it's me," he said and that ominous tone all but slipped away, "I have changed so much and it looks as if you too have grown up to be a fine young woman. I wish I could have stayed, but my destiny beckoned...as it does again."
"Will you come out of the dark, I can't really see you," my voice trembled as I remembered my brother and the way he had looked. Always so dark and evil, his posture had always been fluid and of night. He hadn't changed except for his complexion.
"...wow, you're so...white," I said seeing a pale face masked with pitch black hair. His hazel eyes were hidden in the mass and he looked as lean as always. That's why Tessa had fallen for him. He looked like an undead angel...undead such a funny word.
"Cari, I have so much to tell you but not even the small time we have now would be enough," he said switching his line of view to the sky, "Tonight I must leave, but I will be back when the time comes to me. Tell mom and Tessa I miss them. I love you sister dearest."
"What about dad," I questioned motioning him towards the empty space, "What happened to him?"
"Remember, some people aren't always as they seem," Shawn said bathing his pale complexion in the fluorescent moonlight, "He is one of them, but mother will find someone soon, someone who loves her more than the entire world itself."
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"Coming back to talk to me, this had made all the difference in the world seeing you again. Do you know how hard it was for me to make it once you left? You were one of the only people who ever understood me and stuck up for me. As for Tessa she tried to melt me as fire does ice. I finally told her after graduation what happened, and she seemed so sad."
"What did happen with her anyway, no one here seems to know."
"Well, she left and went to college and dropped out of that. Now she's married to some doctor in St. Louis and they're expecting there 2nd child. The first ones name is Shawn, she told me to tell you that if I ever saw you again. As for all your old friends, they disappeared not more than a week after you; the town was in an uproar."
"I know, but I'm not going to go on about any of that. Now I must leave, but be good until I come back." He gave me a hug then disappeared into the silence of the night. I crept into the house finding my mother laying on the couch. A liquor bottle sat on the coffee table with its' contents over half empty.
"Mom," I said and shook her awake, her eyes red from tears and her makeup smeared everywhere, "Mom, are you alright?" As looked down at her she hugged me and we cried. I knew he had left and so did she and we were now on our own.
"He left us, for some lawyer job back up in New York," she said not bothering to face me after her little dilemma, "He said that we did need him and this one woman did. He already filed for divorce right under my nose. He made us fight so we didn't see what he was doing. We'll be alright; we'll be alright my little butterfly." I felt the tears fall and she held me. The last time I had been called a little butterfly was when I was 10 years old. She rocked me as I let out the emotions I had kept hidden within my locked heart for nearly 4 years. All the heartbreak and trouble was all gone when I finished.
"Mom, I knew he would leave us, or I should say Shawn knew," I said and stared out the dark window into the vacant, starry night, "He misses you, he told me so. I'm not quite sure if it was in my dreams but it seems like a certain reality. He changed mom, he grew up; just like me." At the sudden moment my mother smiled with the smile I had wished to see for years. She knew I wasn't that small little child who needed to all time protection anymore. I could fight my own battles and win my own wars. That wasn't a problem anymore.
"I know, but you will never understand what it's like to let go of a child until you have one. You will always be my little baby girl, but now in societies eyes that little girl has turned into a brilliant young woman. You're my brilliant daughter and one of these days I must accept that."
"Mom, whether you would accept that has never been the problem. You've never trusted me enough to accept it and that's what you needed to understand," I said patiently forging the memories of my brief encounter with the gaunt figure that had been my brother, "Somebody taught me about reality and how reality can hurt you while you find shelter in your dreams. Now it's time for me to embrace the total reality that is my life, but also within the boundaries of my age. Though right now I wonder what is really in this world, for tonight I was shown another part of the world that isn't human nor demon alike."
"You sound so smart with wisdom that I cannot imagine you earned from me," she said her eyes giving me that crafty grin I admired, "You got that from Shawn, I never did understand him. He was my adopted son, after I lost your oldest brother Todd."
"He was adopted," I said questioning her look of innocence that was not even traced with the simplest malice, "You never told me that."
"Because you had no reason to know," my mother replied shifting her vision to the half empty bottle of liquor, "No one knew his true parents, but he was such an odd child. He always preferred the rain to sun, the clouds to clear, and night to day. It was the way he was. Then I got engaged with Morgan Hawthorne and I got pregnant with you. When I told him of my burden he left without a trace. For some reason it seemed like his work was done, when I got pregnant. Then I met Ray, your dear father. Even though I was pregnant with you and had an adopted son he took us in. We were married two months before you were born, in the midst of winter in a blizzard! Then two months later in April in the dead of night you were born, I've never seen such a beautiful sight. Ray of course thought you were a tender miracle in which God granted in our hands. He decided on your name of course as well...Carissa; he thought it was feminine with ruggedness I suppose."
"...but during the last few months it's as if that bond has broken us down, cheated us from the years we spent together. He'd always been the first to mention that we had had a very rock but successful marriage. I just don't understand why he would leave, or why Shawn would have the nerve to disclose this news to you, but without my consent. Hopefully I will once again find someone who can help me finish out my life...maybe even have another child with. I cannot imagine our home without one. It's been so lonely here since you decided to grow up. I would love to see how you would react with a little brother or sister, though a little brother would be much better I believe!" I saw in my mothers' eyes a vision of a little boy running around in the backyard wanting her and I to play ball. I could see a picture of a dark haired son with muddy boots chasing a puppy with muddy paw prints through our large mansion. The thought that hit me the most though wasn't the child; it was the way my mother looked. Her face shining in the sunlight when the little boy, my mother, and I would go to the beach. Her laughter when he smeared chocolate ice cream all around his face. That's what I could see in her eyes.
"Mom, all I want is for you to be happy," I said and glancing back and forth to the countless pictures of my brother and I hanging against the champagne walls, "If another is what you want, then why are you holding yourself back?"
"Because he didn't want anymore," she said and her somber faced crushed all giddy emotion, "He said that having two could be enough for anyone. He feared that if we had more then he wouldn't be able to afford all the luxuries he was used to, that's was his problem. He was so greedy and never wanted the money to slip out of his grip by another's hands. Thanks for the encouragement; it means such an awful lot to me my little butterfly!" I sighed and saw what could have been, but I still understood that what she wanted could be true, could become reality.
"Mom, I think it's time for both of us to get in bed, we've had a long day," I said looking at her through a silent stare, "Tomorrow is going to be the start of our new family and reality." She knew that she'd get a settlement and payment for both kids even though Shawn wasn't here. It would be plenty of money, but we knew it'd be a fight to get Ray to give it up. I walked up the wooden stairs and looked down the foyer. I'd be thinking a lot tonight and the nightmares of the day's activities were going to haunt me in my sleep. Standing in front of my full length mirror I looked at myself. My hair was pitch black and my eyes an ice colored gray-blue. I was slim but looked menacing, even evil maybe. No wonder when I was first born people called me demon child, because of my looks and the way my brother was. Who was Morgan Hawthorne and why did he leave my mother? Was my father so evil that he the reason he acted like he loved my mother was to sire me? I wasn't sure but I knew these questions would linger until the truth. The only problem was that most of the answers were in people that had left four or more years before. Not only that but some of these people were dead and the answers had went with them to another time and place, something more than I could say for my own thoughts.
I changed my clothes and turned off the lights, then snuggled safely in my bed. My mind whorled as my rueful day crept up on me, within minutes I was sleeping as a baby. The next time I would wake the life I had known wouldn't exist, but another more enchanted and sinister one might take it's place.