THAT girl. pt one half.

She's a girl who isn't her. Every time she looks in the mirror, all she sees is a blank face of the girl she used to know staring back. She knew that she looked familiar, but she didn't recognize her. It's tough being THAT girl. The one who guys think they can get anything out of. When she got a boyfriend, she was too busy figuring out how she was going to screw it up to pay any attention to the fact that he was perfect. She misses the people who meant the most to her, the ones who cant even define her anymore. Her "best friend" that was gone even faster then she came. Her sister who drifted to far away, and is too far to come back. The summer filled with late night four hour phone calls with the boy who broke her heart. She wont admit it, but she misses the three weeks of getting to know forty people who would become her family. Her only real friend is the music. Her brand new silver phone just a cruel reminder of what happened, what could have happened, and what she prevented from happening. A normal day filled with posting on a fake smile and walking with her head up even though something keeps trying to pull it down. The new "friends" she has made are just like the old ones, there for a short time but stuck in her heart forever. She is sick of the truth, but sick of living a lie. People wanting more then she can offer is driving her crazy. Sick of the judgments by the girls who never gave her a chance, she just wants to be accepted for who she is. She is incredibly smart, and talented in many areas, but she is not fond of her common sense at all. She misses the girl that she used to be, the one who had no cares in the world except what she was going to wear the next day. The girl who had everything going for her, her grades, her athletics, even her friends were perfect. Even though she couldn't hold a steady relationship, it was middle school. She knew that life isn't like Boy Meets World. If you saw her, you would never guess she was a girl only 15 years old. She wants to just give up and leave for ever, but there are too many people who need to hear the truth before she  can do that. The one person who promised never to let her down, of course he did. Yeah, she did fall too fast, literally. It made her realize that she has too much potential to throw it all away. She just wanted to fit in, and at the time, it seemed like the way to do it. It all soon fell apart. She felt like an imposter in her own life, and the world has let her down. She wants to be the old girl again, but there's too many things stopping that. No one ever suspects a thing, and its killing her. The craziest thing, is that it all changed in a short day. This is the story of a girl who lost herself and has nowhere to go, and nothing to do.