Angels and Demons

Angels and Demons

My head is full of angels and demons
Racists and killers, creatures and heathens
Never been scared of death, embraced while still young
Never bothered by the taste of cyanide on the tongue
The chill of stainless steel on painless arms here
Oh god it is close, I can feel it I'm ever so near
The atmosphere is calm, the mood is indifferent
The blood is flowing, Persephone's sipping it
My time's running out, the hands of Hades reaching out
I'm out of questions and answers, no way I'll figure out
Did they really love me?  Did I do the right thing?
Did I do the best I could?  Am I the beggar that was once a king?
Am I too to be reduced to a crucifix, or burned at the stake like a human wick
Did I do any good, or merely cause pain.  Did I make it sunny, or make it rain?
Because when I was around I saw more smiles than tears
But somewhere along the way I lost my smile to the years
I lost the innocence of my youth, falling out piece by piece
No matter how hard I try, no matter the effort, the elbow grease
I can't fix what I've done, the people I hurt are real and living
Where I can't stop taking others refuse to stop giving
Like my mother, always praying for all of us
Kissing boo boo's, no matter the scab or the pus
No matter how hard the waves hit, no matter how hard she's crushed
She'll keep going where I can not, she'll keep healing where I won't
Where I am cold she is warm, where she is whole I am torn
Well no more, I'll keep my head down hidden in the hood
A cave of my own created from cloth and a head of callous
Living in this demon's prison where my thoughts are the palace
Of doom and hate, mistakes and cement shoe's weight
I'll bring you down, drown you with my sorrow
You'll feel the pain, but it's only borrowed
As long as I'm around you, I'll only bring the curse
Of unhappiness and insecurity, and end to your impurity
Because I pluck you while you're ripe, all it takes is a night
I'll make you love me and then hate me, I disgrace me
You think you love me so you chase me, better to lace me
Sew my mouth and tongue shut, let the words of my mind never escape
Best I should be quiet for the years I live, I am a disease, I am the HIV
I will infect you and stay with you forever, always for worse never better
And in the end, the day you die, you'll remember the things I've done
The clouds I brought upon you, cover your skies with storms clouds so there's no sun
I am the one, to break you break me everybody hate me because I am the downfall
I am the reason humanity is at a stall, forget me and cancel all bets on me
If you had any hope I'd amount to the savior, save him or her
I'm sorry to break hearts but I aint the best, I am a menace, a pest