Erkel just needs to shut it!

    In hindsight, It's an unhealthy habit- but damn! The weather's always shitty, the apartment's too dark to read a book, twiddling your thumbs loses its fun quick. So I'd sit, day by day watching TV on my plaid couch, and see what the characters on the boob tube were up to. The generic black family comedies were my favorite. One day I realized the picture was slightly fuzzy, 'my eyesight sucks!' I just thought and scooted my couch a few feet closer to the TV. A few days pass until even at that distance the picture was fuzzy! So I scooted the couch even closer to the television. About a month passes by like this until the coffee table was moved and the couch was parked directly in front of the TV. Erkel delivered his catch phrase, and then it switched to commercials. There was one selling car insurance and one telling about something like an energy drink or a sports park or whatthefuck ever- Nobody really watches commercials anyway. So a few more pass, then a 'Ladies Gone Loco' commercials came on.

"Gentlemen! Through new developments in technology, we can now offer previews of our movies in Ultralast 3D! Just... Come closer to the TV..."

It got me. I leaned in to the TV, I was only a foot and a half from the screen.

"Now, just a bit closer..."

The announcer looked hungry, almost.. I expected to see a line of drool run down his chin. I pressed the tip of my nose against the screen, then suddenly I felt a pull.. I dont know what happened, but it was a pull. I found myself on the other side of the screen.

So now Im hear- and if Erkel says one. more. fucking. word Im gonna scream.