Weddings and Funerals

Wedding and Funerals

When my mother-in-law died last year we made our way to the funeral home that my husband’s family has used for the last few generations.  It’s centrally located for the family that has spread in so many directions and we knew somewhat what to expect.  After all, we were having a traditional Catholic funeral – viewing, rosary, Mass.  Everything about it was traditional – until we started to consider my mother-in-law. 

She was unconventional in a lot of ways, as well as being somewhat politically connected.  Talking about her life accomplishments required detailed notes.  Fortunately, we were able to borrow from a speech given about her a few years ago.  The presenter had done such an excellent job detailing her life and accomplishments that we polished it up a bit and used most of it in her eulogy.  Clearly a simple “traditional” affair would not be in keeping with her life. 

Our director rolled with the punches admirably.  A separate room in order to show off her awards and proclamations in her honor?  No problem.  Memory boards with photos – let’s put them here.  You have a laptop with a slideshow and music chosen by her musician son?  Great! Plug it in over here.  We’ll keep an eye on it.  Last minute decision that she needed a processional to the church – we can do that.

As a veteran coordinator of many weddings, I admired his skill at handling our requests.  It also got me to thinking.  Just how different are funeral directors, and wedding planners? And if they are similar, what can be learned from wedding planners?

Look at the marketing used by wedding planners and try to imagine them applying to your business:
•          It’s your special day
•          Who will you trust
•          We are experts at listening to your needs
•          Our packages can be customized to fit any budget 
•          Our satisfied customers are our best advertisement

The most successful wedding planners are the ones that listen to their clients and find a way to get the dreams out of the client’s heads and into the real world.  They are mediators, therapists, and stage managers.  They also need to make a profit to pay their employees and the mortgage. They use a combination of listening carefully and documenting requests, of making the right connections, and managing expectations. 

It makes me wonder if trends in weddings will become trends at funerals.  While I haven’t seen any federally-funded studies (yet!) it stands to reason that as the “me” generation ages, they will change funerals in startling ways.  With smaller and more splintered families, people have fewer traditions to fall back on.  They don’t want to be married in the church – they want to be barefoot on the Hawaiian beach at dawn. They don’t want the traditional procession – they want a parade, led by the marching band from dad’s alma mater.  And someone will help them get it.  Will it be you?

With preplanning things can get even wackier.  Would you redecorate the viewing room to honor a football fan?  What about propping the deceased in his favorite recliner in front of the TV with a remote.  Too much?  You’d never do that?  Your competition might.  It makes introducing cremation services for pets seem tame, doesn’t it?

You have a niche in your community.  Do you like it?  Are you afraid it’s getting smaller?  Rather than pointing fingers, moaning about evil corporations buying up traditional businesses, or waiting for an association to come to the rescue, take a look around at other successful businesses.  See if there’s anything in their practice that is worth adapting.  You may find that by adopting some of their attitudes and practices your niche will get just a little more comfortable.