Only in a Dream

                                                    Only in a Dream

                                                    By Matt Harris




         There is nothing but darkness as far as I can see. The only light to dare open its eye is the moon. It shines down on me with a full face, casting an eerie glow on all that it touches.
Saying a silent prayer under my breath, I press on. Up ahead is the path I was told to take, its cobblestone surface shining white in the moonlight. My heart begins pounding as I near it, my side aches from the wounds I have received in battle, but there is a force stronger than any sword, and mightier than any axe that drives me onward.
                My feet slap hard against the stone walkway. The very act of walking has become difficult. The pounding of my boots is in rhythm with my heart. My mind is overwhelmed with pain, but yet I push even harder to make this last journey. It’s more than any man can bear, yet, somehow I do. I have no more strength than those that laid their lives down on that field today, but I have to go on. I have nothing to prove, nothing to have that every man on that field would have wished to have.
                I must make it! I close my eyes and let the winds guide me. Its gentle breeze teases my nostrils with the scent of honey suckle. All is silent but the wind. It leads me. Closer…
         The light dances and dodges in the distance. The cobblestones have become alive with motion, my very soul poured out before me and performing its song. A song I thought was long forgotten and muffled beneath the crushing pain that is war. Proving its worth and its ability to endure all things. I was told it endured, but I never felt it so strong before in my life, painfully strong but yet so close and so cleansing. I must push on!
         My feet disturb the dance that my heart laid before me, and I find myself knee deep in the lake. The moon still high, shining overhead, guides me on to a darkness floating on the sea of light. It all spins out of control and I find myself gasping for air. I pull myself up with strength borrowed from you. I cry out your name. I must see you! For though this life is finished with me, I’m not finished with it!
         Grasping at the ground, I claw my way onto dry land. Smells float in the air and I’m filled with visions of you: Long flowing gowns and faces of smiling crimson, and two moonstones look back at me. A call only I can hear, beckons me to fight once again, not to take lives, but to save my own, if just for a brief moment.
              Strength finds me and stands me upright. Dragging my feet now, I slide further on toward the dark trees. Tall and majestic they stand. Evergreens you call them. Evergreens, their color lasts through all seasons… all time, all wars, all pain, all things, like love...
         War torn hands press apart the branches over the path. Stranger’s hands I wish they were, but they are my own; Gnarled and blood bathed, scared and blemished. My enemies fell to these hands, and with their power I almost lost my heart, a far worse punishment then death. It’s only by grace it pounds steady still. The sting in my side grows with each step. Before long I will have lost this battle. Or maybe I have fooled myself into thinking I was winning. Fatigue hit my legs swiftly and silently. Wanting to give up, I drop to my knees. The darkness creeps in, nipping at the back of my mind, teasing me with its sudden calming presence. Then surging in like a great flow of ice-cold water. I hear it calling me away. It’s saying my name, calmly… inviting me to travel with it.
         As all is lost I release myself, I feel my light drifting from this world. It calls my name again. Tumbling into oblivion I feel helpless… helpless… and afraid.
              There is a sound… light and pure, a sound in a voice that causes my blood to run warm again, and sends it coursing through my veins. In a rush the world snaps into view. I’m right where I was, at the foot of the rock path we made to the gazebo. That’s where we would sit; we’d let the stars stand for our love. We’d count them, each one a promise to one another.
              There, waving to me in a ghostly but welcoming motion, it calls me. I claw my way toward the white of your dress. Finding energy in only emotion, in the very thought that I’ll see you, that I’ll be near you once again. Tears stream down my dirty cheeks, leaving cleansed trails in the dirt and blood that had covered them. I am no longer acting from my own will, but being driven on by hope.
         You turn at the sound of boot upon rock and gasp at my image. Horror crosses your paled face then quickly washes to disbelief. I lay at the steps to our place, this place we built to watch the stars. You drop to my side. Your thin hands caress a battered face. I wheeze from the excitement my lungs can no longer afford. I cannot speak. Partly from fatigue, but mostly from the torrents of feelings I have no hope of expressing fully. Frustration crosses my brow. My arms and hands refuse to obey, denying my gentle stroke of your cheek, but my strength is you. Taking these sinners’ hands, you hold them to your gentle lips, a gift they are no longer worthy to enjoy. No matter, no rules, no laws or screams of battle can keep us apart now. Although my time is short I hold this touch… this simple act of passion to give me a whole new life. The life is so short, lasting less than the shortest of moments, yet it’s so fulfilling I’d trade it for my own in an instant.
         Blood, once dry, runs true again down my forearm, being washed clean from your tears. Your hand brushes my heaving chest; your eyes look deep into mine, Peering past the battered shell that now lies upon you, and seeing the true man that you have grown to love. 
                Before your words can escape I muster the strength to touch your perfect face. With my spirit just clinging to my flesh with the last of its power, I bring your lips to mine. Expelling the power I need to travel on past this world, I give it all up in this kiss of your lips.
                My heart thunders as we embrace, and then sputters out quickly as its last drops of fuel run thin. Then I remember our promise. I take it for all its worth, grab a hold of it and let it take me away from the pain I’m so used to enduring. Overwhelming peace envelops my soul. Flames of passion release through every pore.
                I am free.
                I need no promises from the world I leave behind, I only think of one thing: Your unchanging love.  For now; your eyes… are my stars.