The Vessel: Chapter 1: Failiah

She heard the infant cry.  It was an unfamiliar cry to her, as of yet her child had not experienced such pain.  She held her hand over her mouth, stifling her sobs.  Tears streamed down her smooth cheeks and she closed her eyes tight, as if it would shut out the sound.  It is necessary; it is to help save her in the end.  She repeated the phrase in her head over and over hoping her reason could overcome her emotions.  I must remain calm.

The crying seemed to increase from before and she lost control.  Letting out her tortured sobs, she turned to rush down the corridor toward the closed door.  She failed to lift the heavy fabric of her gown and her feet became entangled in the mess of ornate silk and velvet.  Gravity gripped her and she fell downwards.  Damn these pompous dresses! A firm arm scooped her up before she felt the cold marble hit her hands.  The King held her tight as she cried and struggled to be free of him. 
“My dear, you must try to be calm, the little one will be fine; she will not remember this come a day from now.  It is necessary; you know this.” He spoke softly against her ear. 

Rage pulsated through her being.  She barely comprehended his words, she kept struggling against him, but his hold against her small frame was like steel.  Her mind was reeling.  The primeval instinct to protect her child was overwhelming as she stood on the edge of madness.  Then the burning from inside her mind began radiating through her body and she felt that tingling, that indescribable pain, that euphoric pleasure of ultimate power.  It had been a long time but she embraced it as if it had never been gone.  She heard him gasp then scream as he released his grip on her.  She heard his body hit the floor.  Somewhere inside she was aware of what she had just done, but it sunk back down as raw instinct flooded her consciousness. 

She gathered up the bulky fabric of her dress and ran full force through the corridor, creating a light breeze that began to cool her flesh.  She did not slow as she neared the door.  That power consumed her now, it directed her.  But before she reached the door, it began opening and she could see the dark figure of a man emerging from the room.  The child’s cries were deafening to her now and she continued running towards the open door.  She expected to barrel through the figure but she was suddenly caught up in his arms.  The fire inside her raged as she tried to free herself, but his grip remained firm.

“Failiah, my love you must be calm, it is over now; she is fine.” His voice echoed softly in her mind. 
She could feel a coldness seeping into her as he held her fast, squelching the fire that raged.  That burning power was leaving her body and she began to swim with dizziness.  She felt herself slipping into unconsciousness as he laid her gently on the floor.  She took one ragged breath after another, the air piercing her lungs like ice.  Then she heard him walk back into the room. 

The dizziness began to subside as her body recovered from the sudden let down of power.  Her sweaty face momentarily stuck to the cold marble as she slowly lifted her head.  She gingerly raised herself up, half expecting a servant to appear to aid her, but she had insisted that no unnecessary people were to be present.  The fewer involved, the safer the secret.  Her head was throbbing, but it seemed a distant matter now.  Finally, she stood up, bracing herself against the wall, trying still to catch her breath.

She heard the now more faint cries of her infant daughter as he brought her out of the room.  He was making a gentle shushing sound and rocking her back and forth to try and calm the cries.  He placed the fragile package in her arms.
“It’s ok my angel, it is all done.  Mommy is sorry, so sorry you had to go through this.  Shhhhh, its ok my darling, my little Failornah, its ok.”   
She whispered as she pressed the infant’s head against her cheek and rocked rhythmically.
The man embraced them both, kissing the infant’s forehead.  Then he placed a light bonnet with ties on the side that covered her small head just past the middle of her ears.
“Everything went as well as can be expected.  They will take a few weeks to heal completely but the discomfort will be gone soon before that.  Garron is a good surgeon and the scarring will be minimal.  He applied a balm before and after that helps with the pain and also provided some herbs that can be given in her mouth for pain and to help prevent them from festering.  The bonnet will hide the wounds until they are better healed.  You can make up whatever excuse for it that you feel will be suitable.” 
She nodded and looked down at her daughter, slight whimpering was still coming from her little mouth, but she was calming quickly now in her mother's arms.  She finally looked up at him, his grey eyes holding her fast.  If only we could live as we truly are.  She quickly looked away, afraid to be lost forever in those eyes.
Just then a servant man and woman appeared from the adjacent corridor.

“Rodrick, my queen; Mr. Garron asked us to come and assist?  Is everything alright?”  He was out of breath; they must have sprinted all the way across the middle yards to get here so fast.
“Yes, now Ahna, please escort the Queen and little Lornah back to their chamber.”  Ramsey pointed to the young man.  “Tom, come with me, we will see to King Eldon.”  The two traipsed off towards the crumpled body down the corridor.

“Ailiah, what happened? Are you all right?”  Anah’s voice had sincere concern. 
“I am fine, but poor Eldon...”  She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall.  Seeing her in distress Ahna put a reassuring arm around her.
“Come Ailiah, the little one seems upset.  You must let her suckle, it will help comfort her.  Rodrick and Tom can care for the king just fine.”  She nodded and let Ahna lead her away.  She stole one last glance back, hoping to see those grey eyes one more time, knowing the web of lies they were tangled in was on the brink of suffocating them both.

********

         They reached the queen’s chambers with no interruptions along the way.  Ailiah was relieved to be in the close quarters and began to finally relax.  Ahna had left to fetch some food and drink, allowing her to suckle her babe in peace and quiet.  Ailiah gazed down at her daughter, overwhelmed with fear, guilt, and love.  She had only known the little angel for barely a week but she already felt they have been together since the beginning of time.  Although she had heard so many describe motherhood in many different ways, none of those descriptions came close to representing how it really felt.  How I wish I could have known my son the same.  Ailiah forced the unhappy thoughts aside, he was safe and that was all she could do for now.

Soon Lorna fell asleep, still half attached to her breast and she gently removed her and held her close.  Ahna returned with ale bread, sweet wine and cool water.  Ailiah placed Lorna in a bassinet, adorned with white lace.  She ate the bread ravenously, being so anxious about today she had not eaten yet. Normally she declined the wine, its effects were too strong on her; but after the bread and a bit of water she decided to have a small glass to help calm her nerves. 

“Well, they don’t look too bad then.  I think Garron did a fine job.”  Ahna lifted the thin bonnet and inspected the little infant ears. 
Ailiah nodded as she swallowed a sip of wine.
Ahna waited for more of a response, but Ailiah quietly stared into her wine glass, lost in her own thoughts.
She tried to convince herself this act would ensure Lorna’s safety, but deep down she knew better.  The prophets always get it right, one way or another.  Ailiah knew today’s work would only buy Lorna a decent childhood; she would have to fight against many things for survival after that.

“Ailiah?”  Ahna gently tried to get her queen’s attention.
“Hmm?”  She answered, finally coming out of her dark thoughts.
“So what happened to the king?”
Ailiah sighed heavily.  “I released my power while he was holding me back.” 
Ahna nodded.  She could have guessed that too easily
“I should have been there with you.”  Ahna said quietly.  She had tried to convince her to allow her to accompany them, but Ailiah had adamantly refused.
“No Ahna, then you too would have been hurt by my actions.  I am the one that should not have been there.  I should have known better.  I just wanted to be close in case something went amiss, I just couldn’t leave her.”  Ailiah covered her face and tried to get her emotions under control.  Even though it was all done she still seemed to revisit the horror of what she had done.  Ahna knelt down and embraced her queen, her friend.  “Do not fret over it now my dear.  What’s done is done and I am sure the king will be just fine.” 
Ailiah hugged her back tightly. 
“Gregory is a good man Ahna, I would have never wanted to hurt him; I just lost control.  I remember what happened but it all feels like a dream now, out of focus and distant.  It has been a long time since I have felt it you know.  I swore to myself that I would not use it at all, not even for the little things that no one could ever notice.”

Ahna pulled away and looked her in the eyes.
“I know that; everyone would know that.  No one would ever think you would hurt someone intentionally; it is not your nature in the least.  I have no doubt the king will understand and embrace you whole heartedly.  He agreed to this marriage with full knowledge of what he was getting into to.”
Ailiah gave a weak smile.  Her body was awash with that old persistent guilt.  It haunted her day and night.  Ahna had no idea of the betrayal she had committed.  Ailiah wanted so desperately to spill her guts out to her best friend, her only friend in this place that had become her voluntary prison.  To cry until there was not a drop left in her body.  Perhaps a small part of the burden could be lifted from her shoulders and rest on another’s.  She almost did it; she almost spoke of the treachery.  But she didn’t.