When I called you

When I called you,
Where were you?
Your mental state I mean.

Are you warm enough?
Does Pacific winds cooling down your body temperature yet?
There is no heat in your apartment?
I am worried

I hear,
You were occupied with something,
My heart sank down like there is no bottom,
I am glad it was only a shower head you try to turn on.

I hear,again,
some bothersome energy wave from your end,
the struggles,I felt,
but you were not trying to hide.
I am thankful you were open to communicate.
I can not know if I said the right thing,
I don't even remember what I said,
I realized there is nothing I could have said to save your troubles,
There is no simple answer to help you any,
because I know now,
All your struggles,
for you to go through alone,
for you to learn something.

"Take the worst situations and try to make the best of it"
You repeated what i said.

Do the best you can do for now,
Don't expect the best outcome,
expecting the perfectness comes from the fear of failure!

Just be aware of your struggles,
Be still,.....
An answer will come as a notion,
What you must tackle first,
Do one thing at a time.

Trouble with sleep?

You are dealing with the residue of long years of insomnia,
Don't forget,
Body's time clock has to be in line with nature it self,
has to do with the sun light and the moon cycle
You are lacking natural sleep cycle,
in natural time slot,
remember,
The healing takes place in the night.

Please, stop doing things against the current.
There is the wisdom to ride on that natural flow of the energy.
Use that wisdom you were born with,
let you not waste it!

I do so love you
mom.