No ratings.
A poem about remembering who you are. |
There you are Sitting, talking, Speaking as if you know, know something everyone else needs to know Has to know Must know and I wait waiting for the time, time and energy to return to me time I have given, depth I have shared waiting, pondering why I did this again I thought we were both there, both one both combined Come Explore of it, of me, of this. Your turn! So I wait… Then I think—fuck this waiting I am a me, a me who needs no things returned, If I give—I give generously. Giving is nothing with expectancy Then it is trade And who said we were trading You, who trade with all and every and none You do not trade, you are selling with those, your eyes, that lilt in your voice With a shuffle and a ditty and a hat held out You are dancing and jumping and twirling and performing and taking and leaving nothing to the imagination- Except everything False intimacies to win over the audience you desire. And I am the sucker who gave 5 bucks expecting Godot and got Moriarty I am the woman of the present to get you the girl of the imaginary, who will get you the girl who will support the show who is too young to want more, too simple to understand cycles, too insignificant to know she is not part of the act, only the audience And now, I am not waiting, No waiting, no giving, no trading, no buying You tire me, I'd shiver after we talked I thought it was ah ha, a truth, a desirous force It was something less. It was You -breaking my femur and sucking the marrow, and nibbling on the edges to smooth the bone shards. That shivering tickle was from your parasitic attachment to my soul. Not from your embracing of it of me of this No reason to waste more time with yours I have seen it before, a rerun to nth degree— It was just wrapped in blinding colors and a brand new bow Tearing off the paper took time and energy and focus the diversion I needed, was apropos to my state of mind Enjoyed while it lasted, not too bad for a penny dance and an old hat I woke up my half starved brain and regrouped, refocused I remember now. Questions! I love questions questions Of it Of me Of this I am the show and I love the audience and I know what everyone else needs to know Has to know Must know I was waiting for me and now here and ready and excited and thrilled and wow Now, on with my show Of it Of me Of this. |