Insanities Knight

“Faceral c’mon move,” shouted Galynvan as his horse pawed nervously at the edge of the stream, “Alright, alright. My god you’re a coward. My boots better not get rusty because of you,” he said hopping off Faceral and wading into the water. About halfway across, voices started speaking from the opposite bank. “Well it seems we have visitors,” Galynvan stated patting the bewildered horse’s nose, “Let’s hurry up a bit.” As the duo reached land, three fully outfitted warriors stepped out of the trees chattering jovially. The first was a man of Arabic descent with short dusty hair. The other two were a man and a woman with purposeful angular faces, and pointy drawn back ears. “Good day friends,” called Galynvan. All three jumped around reaching for their weapons, but relaxed when they saw the knight smiling warmly at them. “You shouldn’t startle us like that. We Hashishin are known for some often over zealous reactions,” the Arabic man said. “Hashishin? Oh Hashishin,” Galynvan stated breaking into laughter. “I fail to see what is so funny about us being members of one of the most selectively powerful fighting orders in the world.” “It’s not that. It’s just that you guys are in the wrong story.” “What? Are you serious? Crap that’s the second time today. About an hour ago we’re walking along minding our own business and all of a sudden Indiana Jackass is telling us the same thing.” “I don’t really know what to say. Sorry.” “I guess we’ll head out then. See yah.” As the three marched off upstream, Galynvan turned to Faceral and said, “We’re over the water. So will you please walk now?” The horse responded with a quick snort and a nudge. “Good, I thought so. Oh hold on a second,” as he said this Galynvan turned his head skyward and started to berate seemingly no one, “Hey, who do you think you are letting other characters trickle in? I mean those three aren’t even from this world. Bah authors.” There was a short pause, and then a calm, quiet voice began to speak from everywhere, “Sorry about that, I’ll try and keep my thoughts separated from now on.” “Well good. You better not let it happen again.” “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Since when do you tell me what to do?” I snapped back, “In case you forgot I am pretty much the god around here. I decide what happens to you.” “Some god,” Galynvan mumbled sarcastically. “What was that?” “Nothing.” “That’s what I thought. Well then back to the story. You’re doing good so far.” As everything settled down Galynvan climbed back onto Faceral. “Now the old man said the dwarves were somewhere in this direc…” he was suddenly cut off by the piercing ring of a cell phone from his saddle pack, “I wonder who this could be,” he wondered aloud as he pulled out the phone, “Oh crap it’s Dean. I guess I have to answer it,” Galynvan opened the phone and frustradedly said, “Hello.” A shouting, flustered voice called in return, “Frank, where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.” “I have to kill the dwarves of Asencraine. If I don’t they’ll keep raiding and killing the villagers.” At this point the man on the phone started screaming so loud Galynvan, or Frank as it would seem, had to hold it at arms length, “What?! What?! Dwarves of Asencraine. Frank there are no damn dwarves. There is no Asencraine. I can’t even count how many times I’ve told you this.” “Well… But…” Galynvan started weakly, “I know that. It’s just, being a business man is so boring. And I know that Mommy would’ve wanted me adventuring and helping people.” “Then help me Frank. Mr. Pedule will be here any second, and luckily for you my G.P.S. says you’re in the park we’re meeting in. And Mr. Pedule will laugh at anything, so we should be able to pass off your entrance and appearance as some sort of eccentric joke. Now get to the pond as fast as you can.” Frank sighed and then responded with a simple, “O.K.” “Alright see you soon.” “Bye.” Frank put the phone away slowly and turned Faceral around. “Sorry boy, the adventure’s over.” Faceral snorted and then took the first melancholy steps. As the pair began to approach the edge of the woods at the foot of the pond, Frank looked out at his associates sitting at a picnic table conversing casually. He then turned back to the sky and said very plainly, “Hey, you know this wasn’t really much of a story, no plot, not much character development, and an ending so dull and anticlimactic even I’m bored. You really need to find something better to do, cause you suck at writing.” “You are by far the most tiresome character I have ever written with.” “Eh. It happens.” “Just get out there so we can end this. Please.” “Whatever.” As Frank stepped out of the woods an old man sitting at the table pointed and began to roll back and forth with laughter. While he was doing this a woman scowled angrily and another man next to her shouted, “Come brave Frank, only a knight of your greatness could understand the complexities of our discussions.” Frank forced out a smile and responded, “Yes mighty Dean, I have been sent here to do none other than that by the almighty king himself.” This banter between the two only caused the old man to laugh even harder, and for a moment it seemed as though he would actually fall off the bench. And so it was that the brave knight Galynvan dismounted and returned to his boring life of normalcy and sanity, at least for a little while.Authors note: The idea for this story kind of sprang up in a very odd way. The plot was originally just going to be about a knight named Galynvan who I had come up with a while ago, but I decided that a story like that would be to serious and too difficult to make short. Thus Frank the Super Kiss CEO was born. As for the rest of the story I just kind of wrote as I felt sounded best, or weirdest I’m not really sure. In scenes like the Hashishin, it just felt right, and the dialogue between Frank and myself as the author was just a good way for me to vocalize how I actually felt about the strange things in the story, while making it even stranger. Well now that I’m done taking up some extra space I would like to say thank and good bye.