White Lies

It was just a little harmless flirtation, Alyssa told herself. That was the first white lie. The second one was claiming to be single, and she said it before she knew the words were even in her mouth. She could feel her cheeks getting hot and she knew she must have been blushing furiously. She also knew it was time to end the conversation, but she didn’t know how. Instead, she found herself accepting an impromptu lunch invitation.
         
         They left the bank together and walked half a block down the street to a local café. With the big blue sky as Alyssa’s ceiling, she began to feel small and exposed. Cars zoomed by and she wondered what she would say if someone she knew
saw her. She looked up at the stranger walking alongside of her and gave a quick short smile. An awkward smile. She followed it with awkward words. “It’s such a beautiful day.” Good one, she told herself. A comment about the weather. Very original. She wondered why she suddenly felt so uncomfortable when only moments earlier she was feeling witty and charming. Now she wanted to turn and run like a bullied child.
         
         “Yes, it is.” Jack smiled back at Alyssa and engaged her green deep-set eyes in a lock with his soft brown ones. Mesmerized, she didn’t notice that he had stopped walking until she was three steps ahead of him and looking back. She had passed the entrance to the restaurant. Jack raised his eyebrows as if to say “Shall we?” as he pulled open the door for her. She nodded and stepped inside.

         They walked up to the counter and reviewed the menu hanging on the back wall. Alyssa liked pairing soup with a sandwich, but she was afraid the soup might dribble down her chin. She decided the turkey breast sandwich would be the least messy. She knew she was being silly, but she felt like an adolescent on a first not-so-real date. She tilted her head slightly to study Jack’s profile from the corner of her eye. His short brown hair was thick and fell right above his ear. His nose was small and straight and his complexion was slightly tanned. She guessed he was about 6” taller than her own 5’7” frame and his muscles were defined but not bulky. She decided he was definitely handsome in addition to being funny and charming.

         Jack turned to her and asked, “Have you decided?”

         On what? Alyssa thought. On having an affair? Oh my God, what am I doing? “Hmmm?” she asked out loud.
         
         Jack smiled a crooked Elvis smile. “What would you like to eat?”

         Yes, eat, that’s right, Alyssa thought. I’m only having lunch. This is hardly an affair. She managed to give her food order to Jack, who repeated it to the girl behind the counter. He placed his own order as well and they stepped down to the pick up window.
         
         “So, Alyssa, what do you do for fun?”

         “I manage a kiosk at the mall.”
         
         “And that’s fun?”

         “Hmm? Oh, fun.” Alyssa mentally stomped on her foot. “I’m sorry; I thought you were going to ask me about my job. For fun, well, I don’t normally do this if that’s what you’re asking.” She smiled, trying to cover up her failed attempt at clever.

         “And what is this? Eating lunch?” Jack’s eyes danced. He knew she was becoming uncomfortable and he thought her sudden shyness was cute.

         “I’m sorry; I just don’t normally go to lunch with strangers.”

         “Ah, but are you having fun?”

         Alyssa smiled. “Yes. And I also have fun reading, watching suspense movies, and scrapbooking.” She used a fake beauty queen contestant voice. “And what do you do for fun, other than picking up strangers and taking them to lunch?”

         “I take them to dinner.”

         Alyssa opened her mouth but silence was the only thing coming out of it. She closed it again and looked behind the counter relieved to see their food coming. Jack carried it to a table next to a window and Alyssa followed.

         “So, when I’m not making bad jokes, I’m usually jet skiing or lounging on a beach. I love to be in the sun.” And then he told his first white lie. “When I’m not playing in the sand, I’m an accountant.”

         “Oh, now that’s fun.” Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’m terrible with numbers. I could never do that.”

         “It’s just a different language.”

         They spent the next thirty-five minutes talking and laughing about controversial and non-safe topics. They were fascinated they shared the same political opinions, religious background, and views on current events. And they had the same
warped sense of humor.

         Alyssa forgot about her anxiety until their food had been consumed and they stood to leave. Jack threw away the trash and then held open the door for Alyssa to exit. She had to admit to herself that his manners were refreshing and she wondered
to how far he extended them. Once outdoors they walked back toward the bank.

         “Well, that was nice. Thank you.” Alyssa watched the sidewalk move past her feet as she carefully stepped over the lines.

         “You’re welcome. I really had a good time. Are you interested in meeting again? For lunch or perhaps dinner?”

         “Oh,” Alyssa felt her steps quicken. She silently chastised herself. How did you think this was going to end? Now what are you going to say? And before she could decide, she heard herself saying, “Um, sure. I do all of my banking on Mondays, so maybe we can do lunch again next week.”

         Jack’s eyes furrowed with disappointment for a brief moment. He noticed Alyssa’s eyebrows rise in return and he quickly recovered with another white lie. “I have a business appointment next Monday. Lunch with a client. Perhaps another day?” Say no, Jack thought, say no. For the first time in his career, he found himself someplace he never thought he would be. He was very attracted to this natural beauty whose hair changed color in the sun from golden to strawberry hay. It hung in simple layers just past her shoulders and tumbled softly down her back. He was sad that this had not been a chance meeting. He wanted to be able to see her again, to find out how she smelled, to feel her skin against his. He wanted to see her again, but not this way. Just say no, he mentally willed her to say.

         “Sure.” Alyssa stammered. She meant to say no, but she saw a fire blazing in his eyes that stirred a passion deep inside her. She was compelled to pull him close to her and bury her nose in his neck. She wanted to smell him and taste him. Her heart was beating so fast and loud she could no longer hear the road noise. All she could hear was her voice crackle “When is good for you?” It was barely a whisper. She felt ready to collapse with knees so weak they could barely support her 120 pounds. The flirtation had been fun and refreshing, but she did not expect this lust harvesting in her heart. It had been so long since she felt anything like this and she welcomed it with bitter relief. 

         “Tomorrow? Dinner,” he said.

         “I would like that.”

         “Italian?”

         “Sure.”

         “I’ll pick you up at 7:00.” Jack tried one more time to give Alyssa a chance to back out. “Where do you live?”

                She did not jump on the opportunity as he had hoped. Instead, she said, “Why don’t we just meet at the restaurant? Where did you have in mind?”

         “Vince’s?”

         “Oh, yeah. That’s right in the neighborhood. That’s great.” She tried to conceal her disappointment. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Vince’s. She loved it. The problem was that even though her husband and she barely spoke, they did
occasionally dine together. And Vince’s was one of their spots.

         “Is something wrong?”

         “No, no, it’s fine. It’s just that . . .” Alyssa’s mind raced around to come up with something plausible. Jack smiled inside. She was going to cave and not meet him for dinner. His thoughts froze as he heard her proposal. “I was thinking a more intimate setting.” Another white lie; she was terrified of being alone with him. On the outside she
hoped to sound sexy. On the inside she was an earthquake, shaking both out of fear and desire. It had been so long since a man paid attention to her this way. She had gotten so tired of trying to get her husband interested in her instead of Jim Beam that she just gave up; on him and on their marriage. For the past year and a half they barely lived as room mates. Alyssa was ready to feel like a woman again and there was something about Jack that brought it out of her. “Maybe we can just eat in at your place.” She shocked herself with her own suggestion.

         Jack was attracted to Alyssa and found himself forgetting the role he was playing. He could feel himself growing inside his brown Dockers. “I would love to eat in.” He looked down at her, intently gazing into her eyes. He wanted to press up against her and enjoy the sensation the sweet contact would bring. He took one step closer and ran a single finger down her right cheek. He gently stroked her lower lip. “7:00 at my place it is. Come hungry.” He leaned into her and slowly brought his face closer to hers. Gently cupping her face in his hands, he tilted her head up toward him and ever so lightly brushed his lips against hers.

         Alyssa’s heart had stopped beating the minute Jack touched her. Now it pounded again, beating hard against her breastbone, and her body reflexively arched toward his pelvis. Perspiration lightly gathered above her upper lip and her tongue was quivering inside her mouth. Her body ached with a desire that had long been dead and suddenly tomorrow seemed far away. That thought scared her, but not as much as the thought that she would change her mind. She had never before cheated on her husband and she had never intended to start. Divorce had always seemed such a sad option and she had resigned herself to a lonely life. But now she was awake, and she didn’t want to start dreaming again. This was real, and she wanted to feel it.

            Jack broke contact as smoothly as he started it. He slowly leaned away as he gently stroked her lower lip. Then, in a tender gesture, he touched the tip of her nose. He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and handed her a business
card. Without words, she took it with a slightly trembling hand. It was a plain and simple card with only Jack’s name, phone number, and address. Nothing else. But what else was needed? This card would lead her to his door tomorrow night, and who
knew what other doors would then open. She stopped herself from hastily suggesting they continue with their luncheon and she took a step toward her car in the parking lot.

         “Tomorrow night, then.” Her voice faltered. She was no longer feeling like a sexy vixen but like a scared virgin preparing for prom night.

         “Tomorrow night.” Jack nodded his head and waited for her to get into her car before he got into his own. Once inside the gray Explorer he let out a huge groan that was combined with a sigh. He watched Alyssa drive out of the lot and then
rested his head momentarily on the steering wheel. He opened the file that was resting on the passenger seat and stared at a picture of Alyssa. It was a recent photo, her hair only an inch or so shorter than it was now, but her smile was empty and her eyes had no sparkle. It was not the girl he met today. The Alyssa he met had fire glowing in her eyes and lust playing peek-a-boo from behind glossy lips. Maybe he was being hasty in judging her for not turning him down. He took a big breath, flipped open his cell phone, and called Alyssa’s husband.

         The next morning Alyssa woke to the deafening snore of her husband. Grimacing, she hung her legs over the bed and pulled herself up to a seated position. Her first stop was the bathroom. Coffee was the next main agenda. She didn’t need to
be at work until 9:00am and she was considering not going in at all. When she got down to the kitchen and saw the ¾ empty bottle of whiskey, coke stains in the white sink, and dirty dishes piled up on the counter above the empty dishwasher, she
decided going to work would be a great way to spend her day.She sat down at the dining room table for her morning ritual of coffee and yesterday’s mail. After she opened the gas bill she looked at her purse sitting on the bar stool of the island counter. She got up and with only a moment’s hesitation opened it and withdrew Jack’s card. It had not been her imagination or a foggy dream. It was real. The card was in her hand and the memory caused a sudden tingling sensation that caused her to sit back down and squeeze her thighs together. She didn’t even try to talk herself out of the date.

         5:00pm approached fast, and Alyssa went home to prepare for her rendezvous. Slipping on a black thong, black lace top thigh highs, and a simple but short black A-line dress, her goal was to be out of the house before her husband showed up around 6:30pm. Briefly she toyed with the idea of letting him see her all dressed up just to see if he would take notice. But it was over; she no longer cared about being invisible to him. She was very visible to Jack. And she intended to be even more visible tonight. Alyssa pulled away from the house and caught her husband pulling into the driveway in the rearview mirror. Bye-bye she said to herself with a new found sense of freedom.

         She arrived at Jack’s house ten minutes early. Checking her face in the visor mirror, she tried to calm the shake that was building in her stomach. The virgin feeling had reappeared and now it was prom night. Fear mixed with anticipation and she felt herself getting moist. “Deep breath, deep breath,” she said out loud as she locked her car and walked up to his door. He answered the bell within seconds.

         There was no time for formal exchanges of pleasantries. Before Alyssa could say “hi,” Jack pulled her into his living room, kicked the door closed, and gently pushed her against the wall. He grabbed hold of both her wrists and held them over
her head, and then he pressed his lips hard against hers, his tongue forcing open her lips in search of hers. He found it, and they flirted together, fluttering back and forth between each other’s mouths. Jack groaned and pulled Alyssa to the couch. Still the virgin, she was more than willing to let her experienced partner take the lead. And he was more than capable of taking it.

         His knee forced open Alyssa’s thighs and she could feel it pressing intimately against her. At the same time, Jacks hands were cupping her breast and rubbing her nipples through the cotton fabric of her dress. His tongue was now busy finding areas on her neck she never imagined were erogenous zones. She was ready to climax and they were both still fully dressed. She heard herself moaning and felt herself molding to his body, applying counter pressure against his pelvis.          As her nails dug into his back, she nibbled his left earlobe. She reached for his belt buckle and struggled to
release it. Damn, she thought. Jack pulled his face away from hers and smiled playfully at her. He took his hand and rubbed her crotch as he stood from the couch. He removed his own belt, then took her hands and lifted her to her feet. He led her to
his bedroom. Once there, he expertly tossed her on the bed and undressed quickly. The sight of his nakedness made her very wet and she reached out to him, pleading for him to take her. Jack did not need any more encouragement. He undressed her just
as quickly, but then entered her slowly. He played with his rhythm, teasing her, and then she was no longer a virgin but a seductress and she teased back. She finished first, and Jack was a close second. He collapsed on top of her and then rolled to the side, pulling her into a tender spoon embrace.

         “Oh, man,” he groaned.

         “Whew.” Alyssa let out a big sigh and then inhaled sharply. Oh my God, she screamed inside her head. Then she repeated it out loud.

         “What’s wrong?”

         “We didn’t . . .” Alyssa sat upright and looked at Jack. As she did so, he turned onto his back and slid off a condom. Alyssa breathed out with relief. “When did you put that on?” she asked incredulously. The panic of not using protection left her and she fell back onto the bed. Jack just looked at her and grinned. Then he brushed his lips over hers. She felt something stirring again. “Uh-oh. You’ve awakened my inner beast. I forgot how insatiable I am.”

         “Oh, yeah? Well then lucky for you I’m always up for a challenge.”

         After they made love a second time, Alyssa asked to take a shower. Jack offered to join her.

         “No. I may be insatiable, but I’m also out of practice and a little on the sore side.”

         Jack lifted his eyes to her. “I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?”

         “No. No. It’s just a tender area, that’s all. And if you take a shower with me, well, let’s just say I can’t go there again just yet.”

         “Okay, I can wait ‘til you get out,” Jack teased. Alyssa put a pillow over his head and got up to find the bathroom. As she headed out the door, Jack called out “first door to your right.” Then he pulled a blanket over himself and went to sleep. He woke up when a fully clothed Alyssa reentered the bedroom.

         “Mmmmm,” he said lazily and reached a hand out to her. “You’re not leaving already, are you?”

         She sat down next to him and took his hand. It felt strong and comfortable in hers. “Yeah, I have to.” Alyssa stroked the hair that fell loosely over his forehead.

         “Can I ask you something?”

         “Sure.”

         “Why do you say you’re out of practice? A beautiful, sexy girl like you; it doesn’t make sense.”

         Alyssa bit her lower lip. Steady girl, she told herself. But it was too late. Tears climbed out of her eyes, descended down her cheeks, and entered the corners of her mouth.

         “What’s wrong?” Jack sat up and rubbed her wet cheeks with his thumbs.

         “Jack, I . . . I haven’t been completely honest with you. I mean. Well . . .” Now Alyssa was crying harder and choking on her words. Where did she think this was going to go? She hated herself. “Jack, it’s not what you think. Honestly, I haven’t been with anyone in over a year. Anyone,” she stressed. “But . . .”

         It was Jack’s turn to feel guilty. He realized what she was going to say. Hating to see her struggle, he finished her sentence for her. “And that includes your husband.”

         Alyssa nodded her head several times before stopping sharply and staring at Jack. Her tears also halted and she tried to focus on him through blurry wet eyes. “But how did you know?”

         Jack looked away from her and studied the stripes on the blanket. He was relieved it covered his nakedness now, making him feel a little less vulnerable. He forced himself to make eye contact with her. “You’re not the only one who told a
lie yesterday. I’m not an accountant. I’m a P.I.”

         Eyebrows leaning toward each other, Alyssa tried to make sense of what she was hearing. “A P.I.?”

                “Yeah, a private investigator.”

         “I know what a P.I. is.” Confusion pumped through Alyssa’s veins. “What are you telling me?” Alyssa withdrew her hand from his and held it up in front of her to ward off an invisible blow.

         “Alan hired me. He says he wants a divorce.”

         Alyssa’s eyes opened wide. Jack reached for her hand, but she stood up and took a step away from the bed. He fingered the edge of the blanket. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.”

         “I don’t care about getting a divorce. I just never wanted to hurt him. I’m thrilled if he finally wants out, too.”

                She stood at the foot of the bed and stared straight at Jack. “What I care about is how you play into all of this.”
         
         “Well apparently he was hoping to dig up dirt on you. Probably hoped the judgment would go in his favor.” Jack hesitated. “Obviously the dirt part is where I come in.” He flashed a nervous smile but did not receive one in reply.

         “I don’t believe this.”

         “I told him there wasn’t anything I could find.”

         “When did you tell him that? Before or after we met?”

         Jack swallowed hard and Alyssa shook her head. “Oh my God.”

         “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
         
         Fury shot out of Alyssa’s eyes and stabbed him in the heart.

         “He thought if I could get you to go out with me he would have something.”

         “Oh my God. So he paid you to have sex with me?” Alyssa put one hand over her mouth and held back the sour taste that was rising.

         “No!” Jack started to get out of bed and Alyssa took another step back. He stopped and ran his hands over his face. “It was supposed to be an innocent meeting. Testing the water only. But you were just so darn cute I couldn’t let it end there. And by the time we were done with lunch, I was hooked and then I didn’t know how to tell you.”

                “I’m going to throw up.”

         “Alyssa, you have to believe me.”

         “Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Believe a liar.”
         
         “Alright. Look, I’m sorry I lied to you, but it really isn’t as bad as it sounds. I even called Alan yesterday after our lunch and told him you were a no-go. I could tell you weren’t the kind of girl Alan wanted to make you out to be. I told him I was done.”

         “Well, I guess I should just be flattered now, huh? I can’t believe this is happening.”

         “I’m sorry.” Jack raised his hands in surrender.

         “Me, too. It’s perfect. I can finally get a divorce and move on with my life, but the man I might be interested in moving on with is a sleazy liar.” Alyssa knew she was yelling, but she didn’t care.

         “You know you lied, too.” True or not, he regretted the words once they were airborne.

         Indignant, Alyssa took in a small quick breath and grew three inches taller as she pulled her shoulders back and lifted her head. She held her tongue hostage momentarily between her teeth before unhurriedly saying, “You can’t be serious.”

         Jack knew she meant this as a suggestion rather than a question and quickly decided refraining from any comment was better than replying.

         “You actually think that my lie compares to your lie?” She knew it was an adolescent comment, but it was prom night again, and now she was the broken virgin defending her guilt.

         “Let’s just sit down and talk about this.”

         “Oh, I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about.” The confidence with which she spoke surprised even Alyssa. What are you doing? She yelled at herself.

         “Well it can’t just end this way.”

         “Yes, it can.” And with that she gave herself no choice but to turn and hastily walk out of the bedroom, down the hall, and out the door. She knew he couldn’t catch her unless he was willing to run out bare naked into the street.

         “Alyssa, wait!”

         Halfway to her car, she turned back to see a naked Jack emerge from his house. Beneath her anger a smile tugged at her heart. Damn, he sure is hot. Out loud she shouted, “We’re done, Jack.” And as she turned back to her car she realized she
had just told another white lie.