The Horsemen Never Came

I had waited for a moment like this my entire life. I thought that it had finally come and I assured myself that when everything was said and done, I would make it out on top. I expected so much more than what was given and I was not thankful in the least. It had driven me to the brink of insanity, but there was no turning back. 
      Everyone in the neighborhood was so negligent to everything save for the mediocrity of their everyday lives. I would watch them each and every morning from the front window as they reversed down driveways which lay in an oasis of lush grass and towering monuments of petals and ivy. Their children would sit helplessly in the back, schoolwork being the only burden which ruined their lives at the present time. 
      I had tried keeping a garden but found the point mute, realizing that it was just tedious work. To maintain something that would eventually die during the winter months was something I would and never could consider a hobby. These housewives, however, found such importance in their baby’s breath and daisies. I often pondered over reasons as to why artificial beauty was so worth their time and energy, but I always came up empty-handed. 
      They all had become so self-absorbed and I was absolutely no exception. After my wife had died the previous year the only thing I could do was turn inward. We were planning on someday having children and raising a family within this very house. She would’ve been able to have a garden and I would’ve been able to drive two lovely, well-raised children to their own personal Hell each and every day, excluding weekends. With her passing, however, I didn’t have much of a reason to do anything except mourn. 
      At this point, things in the world were escalating and I was not yet too far gone from reality to notice; tensions had risen and nuclear war was inevitable. When it would happen no one was exactly sure, and some even denied that it would happen at all. Missile defenses put into place in earlier years were not yet defective and if an attack was launched, technology would take care of it all. Everyone would be able to continue to live comfortably in their middle class homes and ignore anything and everything which they deemed impure, evil, and untrue. 
      Once talks on weapons of mass destruction became more prominent, I immediately felt a need to counteract any feelings of doubt within the world around me. I took the money collected from the death of my beloved and built a bomb shelter underneath the backyard. I poured a good quantity of my time, money, and emotions into this project for I knew I would need safety sooner than later. 
      Neighbors would ask what all the commotion was about, so I quelled their curiosity by telling them I was putting in a swimming pool. They then proceeded to ask if I would invite them over, and I would wear a slight resemblance of a smile the best way I knew how. Then, as I nodded, I assured them that I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, their questions ceased once I covered the gaping hole. They must have assumed that my funds fell through and they would not be able to take a relaxing swim in my own personal heaven on Earth.
      Weeks slowly toiled into months and I slowly toiled over a lost wife, becoming more reserved with each passing day. Shortly after it happened I was laid off because they said I should take a break. I am positive that it was because my performance was lacking due to such a loss, but I wasn’t about to say anything. After that I spent most of my days building the shelter or sleeping, and I would only go out at night to buy necessities in order to sustain myself at the time and also in future endeavors. I was breathing life into an after life which was harbored a considerable distance underneath the Earth’s surface.
      Once finished preparing for the inevitable, I unplugged all the televisions and unsubscribed from the daily paper. I knew that it was coming, but I didn’t care when. When the skies opened up and the four horsemen of the apocalypse made their wrath known, only then would I know or care.
      After she died, church became more of a spectator sport. Horsemen were a nice notion and I would whole-heartedly accept their trials and tribulations, but I knew I would have to wait for such a blessing. Alas, I waited and waited some more until finally, one day, it came.
      I had prepared myself and patiently counted down until I would hear thundering hooves trudging through the pristine front lawns of the ignorant. Homes would be destroyed by fire which would leap from the sky; meteors which had, before now, managed to avoid contact with anything but celestial bodies would pummel human civilization into eternal damnation. 
      I realized, with dismay, that there were no hooves or horsemen. There wouldn’t be a judge to painfully take every sinner further away from their own contrived heaven. The only thing which triggered this cataclysmic event was the throaty, discontented screaming of ill-prepared men and women. Also, the cries of their children who would have to worry about school subjects no longer rang out in a symphony.
      Glancing out the front window I saw many faint trails over the ever-fading horizon and knew that our technology, which we had depended on for so long, had failed us. Those defenses were nothing but a pacifier for any hysterics which may have ensued otherwise. Slowly and methodically I retired to my basement, finding the narrow stairs which lead to safety below. Swinging the heavy door shut behind me and dead bolting it, I retreated further, only to descend a dimly lit path where 60-watts were the main attraction and I was a merely the sideshow. Reaching the end of what seemed a boundless plunge, I stepped into my new home. Then, turning a monolithic mechanism, I sealed the entryway that resembled a blast door. 
      The battery-operated radio which I had faithfully bought failed to receive any signals; nothing but static filled the encompassing room. Electricity snapped and popped from the fluorescent bulbs which hung ominously overhead, and I could do nothing but wait once more. 
      I tried to imagine what it would be like on the surface with everyone in such disarray. Fleeing and running for any cover at all, only to find that the duct-tape and plastic sheeting which was suggested decades ago was only to provide a false sense of security, just like the idea of a missile defense. The stale light illuminated every last inch, and as I sat underneath that loathsome brilliance I realized I was prolonging a worthless life. I had nothing left to live for at all, but I poured my heart and soul into the safety of an underground casket. This bogus catacomb was stocked with a limited amount of supplies and air filters which would sustain me for a couple of weeks, if that. 
      Shortly after I relaxed onto the cool floor there came an earth-shattering quake which astonished the lights above, causing them to go into hysterics, jumping to and fro only to extinguish once they had calmed. I knew that those explosions lulled the disharmonies which I had heard moments before, and although they had ceased physically, they still resonated within the very depths of my soul. The only thing which remained now was complete and utter silence. The end had surely come, but it was not in any way by the hands of men who rode in on horseback. 
      Once the room stopped shaking and the dust settled on barren concrete, a sense of relief washed over me, closely followed by anguish. Cans of food and bottles of water were scattered across the floor and I could do nothing but sit there in complete acceptance of what life had graciously thrown up into my lap. They all had doubted it and were completely wrong, mentioning that a nuclear holocaust was literally impossible. Total fools in a world filled with doubt and ill-advised fear. 
      After waiting as long as I possibly could, I prepared for the surface. I was not well versed in anything nuclear, although I had read some things about fallout and didn’t expect anything less than death once on the surface. I gathered what supplies I had left and stuffed them into an obsolete college duffel bag. I donned a gas mask which I had bought from an army surplus store a few months earlier, and my late father’s .357 Magnum was securely tucked against the small of my back. 
      The mask offered little to no visibility and my breathing was anything but regular. The deep breaths which I drew in failed to suffice and I choked on tainted air that had the distinct taste of rubber. The mask had painfully adhered to my face, causing a great deal of discomfort, and I knew that it would probably not save me from anything that remained above. Heaving open doors and pushing through obstacles, the view was the bleakest I had ever laid my eyes upon. I refused to bask in this glory, for this triumph was only a façade. 
      Buildings that did not disintegrate were toppled, flames leaping from them like feverish children playing a forgotten game. The neighbors’ front lawns, where gnomes used to reside within flowerbeds, were now barren and dry. The sky was tinted a deep auburn with thick black clouds swirling and meshing with the horizon, and the sun was hidden behind this heavy curtain of misery. The duffle bag had gracefully been thrown to the ground and my breathing was still deep and meaningful. Shadows of small children could be made out through dirty lenses, forever defined on a mangled garage door. Once glancing at my watch for the first time in a great while, I noted the date and time. The sky lied to me, however, and tried to establish that it was dusk rather than mid-morning. Stretched out before me was a barren wasteland, filled with burning rubble and remains of people I could have and would have never wanted to love or be in love with. 
      I had fought for an empty life which was now filled with everlasting torment. Then, closing my eyes, I drew the gun from my waste band and loaded the only bullet I bothered to carry into the cylinder. After snapping it closed, I waited a while longer for the sound of thundering hooves. The only thing which could be heard was howling wind, making its way through deserted hallways and bedrooms, screaming at me for still existing. I had waited for a moment like this my entire life.