Freewrite

I miss the drugs. It's the times like these that I need to load a bowl or pop a pill.
It's the time where your life sucks so bad that you don't think it can get any worse.
It's the time where you just want to say fuck the starving people in Africa, because
I can't do anything to help them. Why would I want to help people before I can even
help myself? Nobody would say these times are bad for me, looking back on this in a
week I probably wouldn't say so myself. No one has died, I didn't lose a friend, I'm
not going to be living on the streets, I'm not flunking school. But it's these times
where I feel like what is there to even live for? You live, you maybe accomplish something,
then you die. There's no excitement in that. To even accomplish anything you have to
pay for it first, unless your some fucking rocket scientist. At this point in my life,
I feel that there's nothing to live for. I'm not going to be a president, or someone
who changes the world. I'm average, maybe a little above, maybe even a little below but
I am nothing special, and this kills me. This makes me want the drugs, the drugs that I
used to be able to do whenever I felt like it. Every Friday at the movie theater, smoking
in front of health link, stealing pills from the ADD kids. Those times were defined as my
fun times, now there's nothing to live for. I don't believe in God, I have no faith, my
friends come and go, and there's nobody I completely trust. Some people would say that
I have a wonderful life, I have a nice house, make good grades, have 3 meals a day, hot
water to shower in, my own bathroom even. But who is happy with just these things?
Where are my real friends at? Where are the parents who see your point of view in things?
Where are the colleges that accept average people? Where are all the trees going?
why are things the way they are? Mankind is stupid, the only thing that can save us
now would be to wipe out all of civilization. Or maybe drugs.