finding myself

                                      Finding Myself

         
          I thought while walking in the beautiful rain
          Something which you would think is in vain
          I tried capturing my set of emotion
          And,first time i let it go without attention
          My smile and tears need no introduction
          And it is to start my new self-affirmation
          I try to go on, like i don't know these feelings
          But its hard,they are not mere clingings
          On the wall of my heart and soul
          The esteem, efficacy and my goal
          Is not mere admiration & fantasy
          It does not give a con air ecstasy
         
          I want to know if i am sane
          I cry, laugh, lose and gain
          I try knowing if im indecisive
          Or it is just hard to concieve
          That i am mere flesh and bones
          Or i need something which hones
          My assets, talent and skills
          Or its a drug which kills
          The me present in myself
          I am in disguise of an elf
          To find me in myself again
          My walls are closing in