Short Story

I watched the smoke from my mouth and shifted my eyes. I couldn’t cry, I wasn’t able to at this particularly second and that almost hurt more than the cause of the hurt. It was a funny thing, I thought to myself throwing the cigarette to the ground. This had never happened to me before and it hurt like hell but it was also a curious feeling.
Should I run?
Should I smile and laugh or punch this bitch in the face? I didn’t know and my friends didn’t offer any support except step in front of me so I couldn’t see. But it was a ridiculous illusion, trying to hide it from me. There he was, not even a foot away from me. There she was, smiling and hanging on to every second that stabbed me in the back. I never hated anyone with this much intensity before. How could this happen? Two days before everything was perfect and he was going to get over her and be with me…is this getting over her?
         Of course not this was called heartlessness. This was called betrayal. Everyone around, people laughing and lining up to get on the next fair ride. Girl’s carrying stuffed animals their boyfriends had won for them and couples hand in hand with popcorn. And then there’s me. Standing there being completely humiliated with my eyes narrowed daring anyone to say something to me. Wishing someone would say something to me. I tried to make eyes contact, I tried to show him the hurt in my eyes but he didn’t care. He got what he wanted and he was happy. I was nothing to him now, maybe a hassle but nothing more. So what? I thought, I don’t care…I lie to myself all the time.
         I did run away for a second, I threw something too but I forgot what it was. I think I was trying to throw this whole situation  off my shoulder like I didn’t care and it was my sunglasses that took the punishment.
         But, they where in my hands now and a friend had his hand on my shoulder. All my friends had gone through this before, I guess it was my turn. I wonder how they had handled it, I wonder if they raged and yelled or if they where like me and just took it all. I took it all and in the back of my mind blamed myself. I had moved here after all, to this state of rejection. I had foolishly left everything to make a better life for myself and pitifully hoped love had finally found me after all. Yeah, it found me and hit me right between the eyes.  So, I left that day, completely shattered but with a new mind set. I would never play this game again, I would never let anyone see me weak again…isn’t that something.