Here is a letter to my mother telling her how I feel. |
This letter is written to be saved until I have left this world. Some people write wills. I have nothing to will, but all my life I have not wanted to leave things undone. We never know when it is time to step out of this life. So please don't allow this letter to effect you negitive. I am just making sure that these are here in case they are needed in the future SOMEDAY. December 28, 2007 Dear Mom I have never been able to open up to you because I have never wanted to hurt you. I could see the pain in your eyes that dad caused so many times. I do not remember you getting hit by dad, but I do remember the tears from dad’s words. I remember dad leaving the house with a gun in his hand and you holding his leg to stop him from leaving. Mom I know that we have caused you a lot of pain, and that my wanting money so much really breaks your heart. One of the reasons that I moved as far as I have is so that the world would be better for you. I don’t know how to make things better for either of us, but I tried. Mom, if anything I could wish for is that for once in your life that you would be happy. I want you to know if I journey from this world, I could not have had a better mother than you. I am sorry for any tears that I have caused you, and sorry for venting my leaving thoughts on you sometimes. I know that it hurts you to think that I don’t want to live, and I am sorry. I have no business to put this stuff on your shoulders with all the stuff that has been shoveled on you in your life time. I have inherited depression, and the effects of the world has made it worst sometimes. I am still the little your little girl that lived at home, and I am still looking for who I am. If I go away, I want you to know that I am sorry for being so distant. Please know that I love you. I love you forever. Ida |