Memories

"Memories" 7.16.07


Smeared black ink
from this letter I was writing you
But every pen stroke made the weight of my sins grow
And I'm still not satisfied with everything I know
And every time I close my eyes
I see the devil in disguise
Yet Heaven and Hell can't decide
And my eyes aren't satisfied
Cause you might love, you might frown
But these shadows are my own crown
And the summers almost over
But just one last time lets watch the children swim
As blue birds sing and clouds pass by
It's almost time to shed my skin
Yet my heart beat keeps racing, pacing, 100 beats per min.
And my palms are sweaty
waiting for you to call,
And every time the phone rings
I cringe and my heart sinks
I hate being backed up against this wall
with my thoughts ticking like a time bomb.
Please stop saying that I'm beautiful
For you don't know me if you do, and,
This plesant present is just an interruption to my past
And all my hopes and dreams have crashed
Into my future's dull black and grey
Somehow let's just enjoy this moment
The sun is shinning so bright today.
And you know I am no star
Yet you always said I shine to you
As we sat beneath the willow tree
And searched for meaning in its branches
Those were the days before you left me
And even though you have a home in my heart
sometimes I sure do miss you
Nothing's been the same to me since you've been gone
And I just wanted you to know this
Although I don't know what good it will do,
But you will always have a home here
No matter what you do.