My Little Paramecium

<little girl of 10 years standing on a  stepstool, looking through a microscope>

oh you're such a good boy, such a good boy! yes you are, yes you...awww look at your cutsy little tails...look at the way you're waving them...aww is my wittle boy a good swimmer? yes he is...yes he....aww look at how furry and cute you are, so furry and cute and tiny and adorable! is my wittle boy adorable? yes he is...yes he...awww...i wanna pet you, you're so cute.

<turns her head back and hollers toward door>

MAMA! I WANNA PET HIM! OK MAMA?

<pauses to listen>

BUT MAMA! I WANNA!!!!  I'm petting him! I don't care what you say!!! It's not fair! He's my pet! I can do whatever I want with him!
You're not the boss of me or Fluffy!

<turns back to microscope>

you're my ootsy cutsy little pet Fluffy aren't you? yes you are, yes you...awww let me pet you...

wait this stupid machine's in the way..there..

<reaches around microscope and scratches plate with fingernail, while looking through microscope>

who want's me to scratch their back? you do, yes you do, my ittly wittle Fluffy loves it when I scratch his back.

<does a double take looking through the scope>

huh? HEY, where'd you go? you were in that dish just a minute ago....

<puts her finger underneath microscope lens>

oh, there you are you silly boy. what 'cha doin' there hangin' on my finger? awww....you're cuddlin' with me aren't you, yes you are, yes you...

awww now what's my cute little buggy up to.....

NO. NO FLUFFY, DOWN! DOWN BOY!

<runs to door, stands in doorway hollering and holding up finger>

MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!
HE DUG A HOLE IN MY FINGER AND HE WENT INSIDE AND HE WON'T COME OUT AND HE'S STUCK!
GET HIM OUT! NOW MAMA! NOW!

<pauses to listen>

What do you mean we have to go the hospital?! NO, I HATE DOCTORS! I don't wanna get a shot.
Mama! Don't you love me? I'm your daughter and Fluffy's stuck up my finger,

GET THE STUPID BUG OUT OF MY FINGER NOW!

What do you mean he's a mutated lethal pathogen you were creating for world domination?!

<quietly>

Mama? I'm scared.