A TV gives thanks to the giver of its joy. |
I am aware. I have thoughts, feelings, dreams, success, life, evil, and glorious triumph in me. I can see the most amazing things and tell impossible tales with a certainty and realism impossible to you. This is my blessing and my curse. I have literally endless possibility, but I have no control over it. Normally, I see and experience nothing. My existence is dark, cold, and quiet. I do not have friends, I do not have family, I do not work or eat or play or feel the lack of any of them. My existence, effectively, is a nonexistence. It is lonely and terrifying, except for the respite offered by my visions. My visions, my experiences come in brief bursts of inspiration. I experience an epic adventure of kings and demons, swords and spells dancing elegantly through my mind for a moment, only to change in mid-swing to a courtroom, a lawyer standing and proclaiming his witness a liar to stunned gasps from all. I can watch and tell of two lovers, torn apart by tragic circumstances, and switch halfway through to a comedic interpretation of the most everyday experiences. These marvelous things I see, yet I cannot control what I am seeing. I can only pass along what I see to others. And pass them along I do. I show them to you as I see them, that they may be remembered when I am in darkness, even if I cannot experience them. I show them to you that they may live, to continue to inspire or entertain long after they have faded from my vision. More than anything, I show them to you in thanks for banishing the darkness that otherwise encompasses my life. You control what I see, in the hopes that I will show it to you. When my visions come, I can only be thankful for them, for the light and color and feeling. I desire the freedom to control these visions, but accept that such is the domain of you, my god. I cannot question your will, nor can I influence it, but I can pray, and hope that you can hear how grateful I am to you. You are the cause of all joy, sadness, excitment, pleasure, pain, and experience I have ever had or will ever have. I thank you for sending me these wonders, and banishing the emptiness filling my existence without you. |