A truly horrible rendition of a fairy tale that doesn't even exist. |
Once upon a time In a faraway land There lived an ugly girl With blisters on her hands She had two lovely sisters And a mean old, haggard mom That made her do the dishes And made her mow the lawn Every day and night She'd cry herself to sleep She had no one to talk to She had no food to eat No clothes upon her back No shoes upon her feet Her skin was black and rotten From years of leprosy Her sisters use to beat her And make her kiss their cat Tease her about her acne Tease her cause she's fat Make her do the chores Scrub toilets and do laundry Treat her like a whore And tell her that she's ugly And then one sunny day A prince came into town He announced a great new contest And all ladies should come down The prince was sick and tired Of hookers, tramps and skanks His last girl was a gold digger She really broke his bank So both of Sindy's sisters Hauled ass down to the castle They shoved the other women And acted just like assholes One blushed and sighed and batted her eye And tried to woo the prince But he turned his head and rolled his eyes "Who is this filthy bitch?" The next sister was more determined "He must be gay", she was more than certain So she raised her skirt and flashed her breasts But the prince just sighed then yelled "who's next?" So both the sisters left With their tales between their legs And the prince retired for the night He was feeling like the dregs When the sisters returned home They woke up Sinderella They told her of the lonely prince That queer and hateful fella They teased her about being single How no one would ever love her Cause she's just an ugly peasant Then they kicked and shoved her The next morning Sindy woke up Donned her rags and went outside She washed herself with water from the well Then went for a ride She strolled down to the castle gates And asked the guards to enter They cast a glance, grimaced and laughed Then told her to go to hell Rejected, disrespected Sinderella was ready to cry She hung her head and turned away Then something caught her eye It was the lonely, single prince Watching from his window He smiled at her and she smiled back Then he yelled "please don't go!" A second later the doors swung open The prince appeared grinning merrily Sindy perked up and now was hoping A faint voice in her head spoke barely "Could this really be... My knight in Shining armor? The man to save me from this hell And give me a baby daughter?" The two embraced and held each other She looked deep into his eyes Their lips entwined like long lost lovers He reached down and squeezed her thighs The guards looked aghast at the prince's lust With her ugly face and lopsided bust The prince grabbed her ass and gave her the tongue And the guards both threw up in disgust "Sinderella will you marry me?" The prince asked oh so nice "Sure I will you handsome devil I'd love to be your wife" "Just one condition" Sinderella said "I hate my family and I want them dead I want them to suffer for what they've did Drawn and quartered and off with their heads!" Later that night Sindy's sisters sat up and wondered "Where could she be...and where is our supper?" Then a carriage approached and stopped outside Silence befell the household Something wasn't right So the sisters peeked through the window And couldn't believe their eyes Sinderella was smiling The prince was by her side They opened the door Confused and bewildered Sindy took aim at a sister and killed her The other one ran Into the kitchen "I'll make you pay for all of your bitching!" Sinderella was furious and flailing madly "Come here you bitch, I'll hurt you so badly!" "You're a horrible sister and a horrible family!" Her mom sunk in a chair and weeped ever so sadly "Sindy we're sorry we treated you bad... Made you a slave and poisoned your dad" Her face red with anger she turned to her mom She reached in her purse and she pulled out a bomb "I'll show you you hateful bitch! You've made my life miserable making you rich!" Sindy reached in her purse and she pulled out a lighter But the lighter didn't light so she went to the fire Reached down with the bomb and she lit the fuse Pulled back her arm and then just let loose The mom tried to move right as the bomb landed But it didn't work out, the way that she planned it It exploded with force Exploded with fury Dismantled her limbs while Sindy stood cheering "That serves you right you mean old whore I bet you don't pick on me no more Make me wash the dishes or get the groceries from the store Make me walk out in the cold And then go and lock the door" Sinderella and the prince advanced through the house Searching for the sister, as quiet as a mouse They checked all of the closets Checked the living room Even checked the cabinet where she keeps all the perfume All the rooms were empty All that is but one Her father's room before he died The place they kept the gun The prince slowly turned the doorknob Just and inch or two He cracked the door and peeked inside Then heard a sudden boom "You goddamn bitch you shot my eye! I can't see I think I'm blind!" The sister stood up with the gun to reload it But Sindy was on her before she had noticed She punched her and kicked her and pulled her hair Twisted her nipple and fought real unfair "I'm sorry Sinderella For all I've done to you I promise I'll be good Please just turn me loose" So she let go her nipples and let go her hair Locked eye to eye in a menacing glare "Why were you cruel to me? How were you so mean? To tease me and beat me and treat me so obscene?" For just a second Sindy started to cry But the prince interrupted: "My eye! My eye!" He picked up the gun and he tossed it aside His face was bloodied except for one eye "You've taken my vision My good looks and pride Guess what bitch It's your time to die!" He grabbed her and gagged her Threw her to the floor Grabbed a candle off the mantle with some hot wax to pour "Sindy get the poker An axe and a knife I want this bitch to suffer Before we take her life" Sindy did as was told and returned to the fold With a knife and an axe and a bomb and a match A bottle of drano "Right down the hatch! Then we'll rape you and beat you Stick the knife up your snatch!" They took off her knickers and tore off her shirt Made her taste drano then made her eat dirt "How's it feel bitch? I bet it really hurts That was just an appetizer Get ready for dessert!" And with that the prince unbuttoned his pants Jumped on the sister and fucked her sore gash Sindy burnt her with cigarettes while the prince fucked away Revenge is enjoyable What more can you say? The sister moaned and groaned and cried and weeped But the prince kept fucking, hard and deep She cried for mercy, cried out in pain Apologized for Sindy sleeping out in the rain The prince was ready to shoot his wad So he pulled it out and stroked his rod He dribbled on her stomach And sprayed it on her face Made her lick and suck it Made sure she got a taste Sindy's poor sister Half conscious and half dead So she grabbed the axe and swung it hard And chopped off her poor head Sinderella and the prince Let fire to the house The memories of pain and past Will be gone forever now They got back in their carriage And looked back at that disaster Then rode off into the sunset Happily ever after |