Rotten Teeth

Eating candy and ice cream
Hot fudge sundaes in my dreams
Sugar, sweets, they make me scream
Toothaches are worse than they seem

My rotten teeth have fallen out
My gums have gingivitis
Dental problems, without doubt
From the lust that burns inside us

For cakes and brownies
Soda too
Donuts, pies, and all junk food

Sneaking candy when I can
When mom's not looking grab a can
Of Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper
I'm gaining weight
Look like a heifer

My two front teeth are turning black
They'll soon fall out and not come back
I'll look deformed, to the uninformed
From eating bags of candy corn

When my teeth fall out
I'll gather them up
Place them under pillow
And hope when I wake up
A quarter for me, for my lost teeth
Payment for plaque and cavities

I'll take that quarter and invest it wise
Sugary madness burns in my eyes
Like an addiction to crack
Or beer or wine
I trick or treat in rain or shine

The dental bills are piling up
My parents are so mad
At my crumbling chompers
And halitosis
That makes my breath smell bad

Stepped on a scale and passed a brick
Can I really weigh that much?
From Lucky Charms and Snickers bars
It seems I'm out of luck

I'll soon have dentures and a gut
Too fat to move, stuck in a rut
But still eat candy twice a day
Till my dentures are repo'd
Cause I forgot to pay,
My dental bills for tooth neglect
There's not much else to say