This is her story

She was only always that wich he expected from her. That wich she despised. Loathed. Even though she never wanted it. She got more than what she bargained for. In the end, she proclaimed her victory... still it makes no sense. No sense at all.

Here is her story:

How wonderful, how beautifully those petals fell from the rose that has died. Shake them loose and make a path of scent, all the way to the bedroom...

She had absolutely no idea why she was doing this, maybe she loves him. Maybe... one can never be sure; Ever! Yet she lit the candles, poured the wine and composed the whole place into a memory to hold dear... forever!

'This would be it.' She smiled secretly to herself as she set the table and put on some music from 'Dead can Dance' ... her favourite album, and 'Jack Johnson'... his favourite album. It would be wonderful.

... Then the moment arrived! She heard the footsteps, her heart racing as she rechecked everything. She stood back with a smile of satisfaction. 'Perfect!'

The door opened, bringing in a gust of wind that snuffed out two candles... 'oh dear' she thought. Ten candles left! She grabbed the matches and lit the two that died.

He stood in silence, her hands shaking... 'what is he thinking'. She stares at his eyes to find something, a hint. Then he turned to her and smiled half heartedly and said: “its nice..”. Relaxing on the couch he kicked off his shoes, putting his feet up on the coffee table, pushing aside the pretty flowers and bowl of finger snacks, the placing of each item, that has taken her hours to prepare and get to perfection. A lump in her throught! She swallows hard and takes a deep breath, turns around and enters the kitchen. In the next room she hears the television go on... She bites her lip. 'no'

Returning with plates and cutlery she set the table in silence... Smiling, smiling brightly... The table is set... perfect! She re-enters the kitchen and comes out with the chicken and vegetables.

“Smells lovely!” he said looking up from his nest. Her heart in her throught, tears almost spoils the moment and she manages to get a soft, “thank you”  and a gentle smile, before she dissapears into the kitchen again. Finaly the flower salad! 'oh, it looks lovely' she thought to herself. 'I hope he likes it'

He stood up and pulled out a chair by the table. She turned off the television and joins him. He takes the knife and cuts the chicken in half, the silence between them emphasising the bones crushing under the lumber of the knife... She grabs the wine and fills up the glasses to the top.. He dishes up for himself and she does the same...

'Jack Johnson' is playing now... “Nice music.” He said and smiled. “Im glad u like it” she said smiling again... 'keep smiling she told herself, just keep smiling' The food came out perfectly, she looked at him and felt a relief to see that he was enjoying it.

“So what made u decide to do this tonight?” he asked in a 'by the way' tone. She took a deep breath. “I thought u might like something nice!” She said, and smiled brightly... smiled!

Her heart in her throught as she dared the next question. “How was ur day?” He glanced at her... the soft look that was almost thre, dissapeared. “Im sorry,” she said softly... “Dont worry bout it,” she appologized again.

“Why the fuck did you ask in the first place!” He glared at her with his soul ripping snake eyes. Coarsing through her being and tearing open her heart.

“I just thought...”...

“You never think! The only thing that is ever going through your mind is...oh my god who has he been with, has he fucked someone behind my back” He stood up and threw his knife down onto the plate. “Im not hungry anyways” He said and stormed out of the flat... leaving her with a loss for words and 'Jack Johnson' merrily chirping in the background bout some 'bushfire fairytale'. Quietly she stood up and took the plates to the kitchen. She came back and snuffed out all 12 candles, turned off the music and sat down infront of her computer. 'Why does he always accuse me of such horrible things' she browes through her music and found the perfect song... '10 seconds from a nervous breakdown, 10 seconds from losing my mind, 10 seconds u dont wanna be around, well im .... ` Over and over and over again... the words making memory in her mind and she is crying uncontrolably now...

The door opens...

He enters... with a chocolate and a orange juice in his hand he offers it to her... she looks up into his eyes and finds a soft glance of hope that this night might be beautiful after all... he sits down and puts on the television... She sits next to him and reaches out for his hand, he pulls away. The lump again, and she smiles AGAIN! Smiles!

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he shouts at her when he saw her tears. Biting her lip she turns to him swallowing hard. “Nothing... just wanted to hold your hand, thats all.” He grunted and turned to the television. She stood up and went into the bedroom... candles still burning thre... 'why!' she fell onto the bed and started crying.

The door flung open and he enters, raging with anger. Fires flaming in his eyes and he bursts out, “Shut the fuck up u bitch!!!” Ur pathetic, stop crying! She sat up wiping the tears away as quickly as she could.

He moved so quick, she never saw it comming. She fell against the cubourd and hurt her elbow. He comes again and throws her against the side table, the candle snuffs out, wax dripping onto her bible ... `My Father in Heaven!, hallowed be Thy Name' her body goes week as she falls onto the floor, 'Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done' The slap was much harder than the one she has recieved bout 2 weeks ago, for asking the same fucking stupid questions. 'on earth,' she fell to the ground, 'as it is in heaven' and looked up. 'give us today our daily bread,' He kicked her, like kicking a dog when its down... dog... woof hey! “I dont want your fucking cooking!!” he shouted! 'and forgive us our sins' she crawled onto the bed. “Im sorry,” she wispered. “as we forgive those who sinned against us,” He lauged, “Sorry, Pah! Ur pathetic, not sorry!” He turned and left the room. She huddled closer to the cold wall, at least it dont pull away, at least it dont hurt, or shout... Frustration, rage... hurt, she crawles under the bedcovers and weeps in her heart... “and lead us not into temptation” she wisperes to herself, “But keep us from evil” she hears the door slam! “for Thours art the Power and the Glory, Forever and ever and ever!” Her cat enters the room, softly meuws, jumps on the bed, finds her tearstreaked face, and gently licks it clean with her coarse tongue...

She gets up and goes quietly sits down at the table. She picks up sugar crystalized rosepetal from the flower salad and nibbles on it! Bitter! She pulls a face and shrugs, ‘he would not have liked the salad anyways’ She spits the petal out onto the white table cloth and watch it form a small pienk stain underneath it.

“Tis bitter!” She wispers to herself.

She was only always that wich he expected from her. That wich she despised. Loathed. Even though she never wanted it. She got more than what she bargained for. In the end, she proclaimed her victory... still it makes no sense. No sense at all.

How wonderful, how beautifully those petals fell from the rose that has died. Shake them loose and make a path of scent, all the way to the bedroom...