The Boot

I awoke early this morning.
With a sharp pain in me bum.
Reaching back with fear.
To find a boot stuck deep in me rear.

Pondering what may have happened.
I struck out on a quest.
To find out just what had went amiss?
Starting my search both near and far.

First I tried to beat it out of an ogre.
Even wrestled with a gaint.
Listen to the horrible lyrics of the elves.
Laughed at unfunny jokes with gnomes.

Matched blades with the strongest warriors.
Ripped apart werewolves and vampires.
Slayed trolls with acid and fire.
Smashed in zombies fragile skulls.

Getting tired and sore.
I decided on getting a brew.
After throwing a few back with me hardy crew.
I was starting to feel pretty good.

Suddenly everybody grew quiet.
My blood started to run cold.
Turning I saw a nightmare worse then any could imagine.
My wife crowded the doorway with only one boot on.