my best friend (installment #2)

I hobbled inside to find Elijah and Nellie sitting at the table talking. The stopped talking as soon as I walked in so I shook my head and went to go up stairs.
“Hey Maddy” Elijah said cheerily
“Hey… Eli, have a good time with Jodie this morning?”
Elijah’s face sort of dropped, as if a penny was dropping, about what I didn’t know, But Nellie gave him the same look she’d given me yesterday… the all-knowing look.
“Great… we went to the coffee shop that you and I used to go to all the time”
“Oh… well I’m glad that you’ve met someone with more than two brain cells… I’m going to my room”
I hobbled up the stairs and into my bedroom.
I was curious to figure out what Nellie was up to, she didn’t usually keep things from me and that’s all she seemed to be doing recently. The more I thought about it the more it bugged me so I walked back out of my room and slid down the stairs on my butt as quietly as I could. I stopped four steps from the bottom and listened. They were talking so quietly that I really needed to have super sonic hearing unfortunately I didn’t inherit that gene so instead I went to go back upstairs.
“She seems the same to me” Elijah said his voice now just loud enough for me to decipher
“Of course she does doofus, she’d trying to pretend you don’t mean anything to her… or anything more than usual”
“What makes you so sure”
“She’s my sister, I know her better than anyone, she may be straight up with most things in life… But love isn’t one of those, so she’s hardly going to be forward about it with you, that’s what I meant about the whole over the top brushing it off thing”
Omigod, they were talking about me, and Nellie my so-called sister was trying to convince Elijah that I was madly in lust with him. This was so not part of the plan.
“So you’re trying to tell me she has feelings for me… when she hasn’t even told you herself”
“Eli, she doesn’t need to tell me, Yesterday after the pizza date when we left Jodie asked if she could stay the night and Madison Bit her head off, it was obvious to me at least that she was jealous”
“Maybe it was just weird for her… seeing two of her friends kissing”
I had to give it to Nellie, she could read me pretty well, everything she was saying was completely and utterly true, Elijah on the other hand was the opposite; he wasn’t listening to Nellie at all, which I was sad about… for some odd reason.
“I’m with Jodie now anyhow, and she’s so obviously with Vincent, so none of this even matters anymore”
“Whatever, look I have a date in an hour, I better go get ready”
“Can you get Madison to come down? I was going to see if she and Vincent wanted to come to the music festival with Jodie and I”
I heard Nellie get up and I attempted to crawl up the stairs quickly and soundlessly but unfortunately it was a sad combination and I ended up stopping. Nellie walked to the hallway where the stairs began and saw me straight away, she jumped with shock. She motioned for me to follow her up stairs so I did.

“How much of that did you hear?” she asked
“From when I got home… why were you guys talking about me… why were you trying to convince him I have feelings for him when I don’t” I asked irritated
“You don’t,” she asked in a disbelieving tone
“No I don’t I like Vincent… My boyfriend” I said half lying
“Okay, I’m sorry I’ll butt out now”
“Thank you. Look Vincent wants to start a band for the battle of the bands competition at his club… you in?”
“Sure sounds like fun”

After I’d sorted that out I went back down stairs, Elijah was still sitting at the table oblivious to my ear wagging.
“Hey Elijah, Nellie said to come down”
“Yeah, I ah asked Jodie to come with me to a music festival tonight and I wanted to know if you and Vincent wanted to come?”
“Well if Vinnie goes I’ll go… are you interested in this band thing he wants to do?”
“Yeah, I already asked Jodie and Jacey so it’s all good”
“Cool, well I’ll see you tonight maybe”
“Yeah… maybe. Eli?”
“Yeah”
“Are you and Jodie? Boyfriend and Girlfriend now?”
“Yeah, that’s okay right?”
“Sure… I guess”


Elijah left soon afterwards. I went back up stairs and flopped back on my bed. I lay down for about half an hour before I rung Vincent. He answered the phone after two rings and said
“Maddy?”
“Uh yeah…” I said a little weirded out
“Oh… hey sorry if I sound a bit weird Elijah told me before that he’d invited us to that music festival and I was starting to think you’d gone off me”
“No not at all I was just having a rest. So the music thing… yeah I’ll come”
“Great we will pick you up at 5.30”
“Great see you then”

I hung up and looked at the time, 4.30. I had an hour to get ready so I sat on the end of my bed and opened my drawers. I grabbed out a black singlet and a hoody and grabbed a pair of jeans.
I got changed and hobbled downstairs.
“Hello honey. Haven’t seen you much today?” my mother said as she sipped her coffee
“I’ve been out with Vincent… he’s coming to get me in half an hour to go to the music festival, I shouldn’t be long”
“That’s alright, your father is out at the hospital today, helping out with the eating disorder group therapy session so I was just going to heat up some soup for tea”
“I’ll be fine mom, I’ll get something while I’m out”
“Well see if Vincent can take you to Health plus… they have some very good healthy fast food options”
I rolled my eyes and nodded
“Of course, love you mom, see ya later”

I went outside and sat on the doorstep. I was waiting for about five minutes when Elijah’s car pulled up the driveway. Jodie was sitting in the front.
“Hey Maddy” Jodie said happily
“Hey Jod’s”

I got in the back with Vincent and we left. The music festival was great but I felt out of place, I watched Jodie and Elijah talking and laughing and I felt resentful. Elijah and I used to be so close, but after that stupid kiss… even though it had only been a couple of days… things hadn’t really repaired themselves.
“Are you okay?” Vincent asked, his hand brushing my back
I nodded quickly and looked away, I had to get over this stupid obsession with Eli, he was with Jodie now, and it was obvious he liked her… not me, why let my feelings ruin two friendships. And if I had any chance of regaining what I used to have with Elijah, I had to stop thinking about the kiss.
Around 8.30 we left.

A few weeks later, Vincent and I had set up the Band rehearsal timetable. The Band had really helped me to forget about everything, about not playing basketball and not hanging out with Elijah, well to some extent anyway. I was on bass, Nellie on lead vocals (though she’d protested with me) Jodie and Jacey on back up, Vincent on drums, Elijah was on lead Guitar and Jasper was on rhythm guitar. We’d set up the practices for five times a week, though two of those five began at 8.30 at night. The rest started at 4.30.
Finally it was our first practice, Vincent had asked everyone to write a song so that we could make a set, we decided to not do any covers.
I’d written mine while watching Jodie and Elijah play fighting in the shed five minutes before the band rehearsal started

“It’s breaking my heart in two
Watching you
Feel like I’ve lost my whole world and I
Don’t know what to do
Don’t you see, I’ve lost all my dreams
I’m lonely and jaded
My soul is faded “

Anyway it went on being depressive and stuff. And the great thing was it was versatile enough to say that it was about basketball. I asked Nellie to sing it and she nodded then after practicing it came back to me and said
“For one… the notes you have on here, I’ll never be able to reach, and two… you’re much better than me”
I nodded angrily and walked away, great I was going to have to see in front of everyone. Wonderful.
Finally the rehearsal started and we all played our songs, I went last, hoping that everyone would be to buzzed to sit there and listen to me sing. No such luck.
I sung my song and once I’d finished I looked at the ground. Noone said a word… literally, you could hear a pin drop, I felt sick now they had heard my voice I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
“Why…. Are we even singing… when Madison has that” Jacey said stunned
“Yeah… god with her voice… this band doesn’t even need back up” Jodie whispered
I looked up and over at Elijah, whose head was down, and then over at Vincent who sat there, mouth wide open, eyes like saucers.
“All in favor of Madison as lead vocals raise your hands”
Everyone but Elijah and myself raised their hands.
“Great then that’s sorted, Nellie you can play bass to right?” Vincent asked
“Sure can”

We continued on with the rehearsal. Afterwards Jodie came up to me
“So… that was a great song. What was it about?” she asked suspiciously
“Basketball” I lied
“Right, a song as… emotional as that was about Basketball… tell me the truth Madison” she said slightly irritated
“It’s a technique Jodie, You write a song about something that isn’t really that sort of thing and you embellish it okay… what are you trying to say anyway…”
“If you think that I believe you ‘embellished’ that… you must think I’m really stupid. You usually have no girly and sensitive bones in your body Madison”
“Thanks Jodie, it’s great to know that you have so much trust in me… Tell me, if your so sure you know what or who that song was about… how come no one else is… jeez… if you think for a second that song was about Eli… which it’s not… it wouldn’t even matter anyway… he doesn’t see me like that”
“Maddy… I’m sorry okay, I guess I’m just insecure”
“Don’t be… I can see Elijah really likes you”

Jodie walked away and I sighed, she could never ever find out about the way I felt… ever. No one could.

Another 4 weeks later and my cast came off. Jodie and I weren’t really hanging out anymore and Elijah and I weren’t hanging out at all. Jacey hung out with me at school, mainly because Jodie was always with Elijah at lunchtime.
On lunchtime Jacey and I sat in the court eating when she said
“SO have you and Vinnie… you know done it yet?” she asked giggling
“No!!! What kind of questions that?” I laughed throwing a bit of bread at her
“Well Markus and I done it… I didn’t tell anyone… cos I was sure out of the three of us I was the only one”
“Did you tell Jodie?”
“Yeah… she said she was thinking about going there with Elijah”
I looked down the smile draining from my face. I deserved this; I’d told her all those weeks ago I was fine with her and Elijah making something more from that date. I felt a tear well up in my eye. What the fuck was my problem… it had been 7 weeks and I still wasn’t over it… and to make matters worse I’d been with a guy… that although I liked as a friend, I didn’t really like any more than that… I was stringing him along. My life was a farce.
“Are you alright?” Jacey asked a few minutes later
“Fine”
“Why don’t I believe you? You’re in love with Elijah aren’t you?”
“Loves a bit strong,” I whispered
“No… its not Madison, I’ve seen the way you look at him… the way… he looks at you”
“He doesn’t look at me in anyway… I’ve completely fallen off the planet”
“He does, why didn’t you just admit it… when Jodie asked you”
“Because I can’t admit something that I didn’t realize myself”
“But you know now”
“What good is it going to do now? Jodie is planning to sleep with the guy. Do I just walk up to her and say… don’t sleep with him. I’m in love with him. And what about Vincent, I’ll hurt him to”
“Madison, you can’t just forget about this… being with Vincent to forget about Elijah it’s not working, and it’s not fair on anyone”
“I know Jace, I know but I’ve let it go to far now”
“Look, I’ve got my car here, how about you go and take it, go see Vincent, then go see your sister. She’ll tell you what I can’t then go and see Jodie; I promise you… she won’t hate you. I promise”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because we’ve already talked about it”
“You mean. The whole sex thing… you and Jodie set that up…?”
“Yes… now just go okay.”

I grabbed Jacey’s keys and drove to Elijah’s, It was no surprise that Elijah wasn’t there so I walked inside and into the lounge
“Vincent?” I called out. He came out in a towel
“Hey babe”
“We need to talk”
I told Vincent it was over and at first he was okay, but as I went to leave I saw a side of him I’d never seen
“You’re a slut you know that! You’re dumping me for him aren’t you… god… He was right you know… don’t go out with her… she’ll only screw you up. Fuck with your mind, you fucking skank”
I suddenly felt like I needed to get out, for the sake of my life, I went to open the door but Vincent pulled me back in and threw me on the couch, my head hit the coffee table as I went down and for a few moments I blacked out. By the time I came to he’d ripped my clothes off and was on top of me, I struggled to break free but he was stronger than me, finally I managed to get away from him, I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I turned the shower on and climbed in. There was blood dripping down my face and my legs. Realizing the seriousness of the whole thing I burst into tears. I sat there, Moving back wards and forwards, as if I was a baby for what seemed like ages, I only had my t-shirt on, my pants no where to be found, the cold water burnt my skin and felt like dying.
I could hear voices in the lounge, but still I didn’t move
“I can hear the shower…Maddy?” Jodie’s voice called out
“Jodie… there’s blood on the couch” I heard Elijah yell
“Maddy!! Where are you?” Jodie called out again
“In here” I managed to croak