Cellular Questions

it stays in bed with me
sometimes at midnight it shakes the mattress with its desperation
but does not stir me
I drown its dull drone
like a lover that’s been here forever
but never appreciated
because sadly that’s what it’s become
except when it screams at dawn
high pitched squeals rip through the foggiest disorientation
throw me face first toward too many warm showers
and too cold bird-time winds
then it is the companion that I endure
solely due to convenience
“I don’t feel like looking
so you’ll have to do”
I think it’s sad
that something that distant and disdainful
could hold my existence in its apathetic palm
what does that speak of my existence
does it hold less meaning?
to be contained so prettily
or more?
is the blue pre-packaging an appetizing advertisement
or a flagrant falsity?
but as life is
every question raises three million more
for, as they say,
a picture is worth a thousand words
but a question
a question is worth fourteen trillion
a lifetime can be devoted to a question
and even as this is written I digitally document mine
I dissect and decompose every detail
attempting to affect some apathetic arrangement
forcing faceless phrases into futile forms
hoping to find a question
or an answer
to why I breathe through its small metal speaker
“I wish to unplug, sir”
“no you may not—
you have yet to upload the necessary information”
“but I do not want it!
I am more than engaged enough thank you”
and I guess that’s the question for some
but not for me
now is as good as ever to sever this cellular umbilical
but… will I survive?
processing, sorting and listing with no filter
without a programmed yes and no
yes
for my programs are sufficient
and yours antiquated
and I no longer require your speaker
to make my voice heard
and so it must be time for a new companion
but I do not feel like looking
so you’ll have to do