From "Same Book, New Chapter," by me

Not knowing right from wrong, fake from real, it's hard. All I did my life was do stuff for other people, even if that meant putting myself in jeopardy. I hid all my fears and put aside all I had just to try and make not only my life, but also the lives of those that were around me, better. Caught up in dreams, I realized that not everything was going to be handed to me on a silver platter. Although there are people out there that live that life, that was never the story for me. There were many things out there I could only have if I worked for them, and I was told those were the best ones. The ones that you could be proud of, and appreciate. I've spent many sleepless nights thinking about my life, trying to find a way to figure out why stuff happens. That's just it, "Sh*t happens," and no matter how hard I try to stop it, everything happens for a reason. Not always being the best reason at the moment, but eventually I understood. Many people say I should forget my past. Forgive and forget, and move on. I think otherwise. I am a strong believer of the past. One of my good friends told me that the past is what makes a person because with the past they wouldn't be who they were today. A person should always forgive, but never forget. Walking away is the hardest part. Getting over someone was kind of easy for me, and moving on, maybe even easier, but walking away knowing things will never be the same, and all the feelings that I ever felt no longer matter took just about ALL my strenght. I just have to believe otherwise. I have to know and believe that just because things are different, does not mean that they can't be better. When one door closes, another one opens, and there is too many opportunities out there just to sit around and look stupid. I just had to start talking my life seriously. In all fun, there is some type of seriousness, and in all seriousness, you'll find fun! That can be very confusing, but not being serious about my life was almost my biggest mistake. In life, a person makes many decisions. Whether or not they are good or bad decisions, they should be the best decision at that time. I can predict my future by no means, but sometimes I had to look ahead in life. I learned that nothing last forever and that if you get use to something or someone, they won't be there when you need them the most. A person life can change in just a split second, and I seriously mean that. They could have lived their life one way and then it can completly change, as if the past was nothing and means nothing, just time wasted. When a person hits rock bottom, and they feel as id it couldn't get any worse, just like it can get better, trust me things can definetly get worse. But when they continue to get worse, they will eventually get better. My life is a perfect example of that situation. My close friends go me to pray on my life, my family even prayed. I wanted things my way and I thought that I would never get what I wanted. I had to settle for letting it all go. Today, I got everything I could possibly want.