Ready and Waiting

Ready and Waiting

A short dialogue between a middle aged married couple getting ready to leave the house

Dan: Sarah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I might not make it to the end of the week. The doctors say they can’t treat it and I’ve been told to prepare for the worst.

Julie: Rubbish.

Dan: What?

Julie: That was rubbish, if you want to get that part you’ll have to try a lot harder than that.

Dan: Well I’m doing my best considering I only got the script today.

Julie: Doing your best wont get you in the play, you need to convince me you’re about to die, put more effort into the words.

Dan: I’m putting as much effort in as I can, besides I don’t have time to do any more tonight, we’ve got to go soon.

Julie: We’ve got a bit of time left, I’m going to change my dress, I don’t like this one.

Dan: What? You don’t have time to get changed we need to leave in five minutes or we’ll be late!

Julie: You’re over reacting again, it won’t matter if we’re a couple of minutes late, now come on, try it again while I’m changing.

Dan: I guess. Ok. Sarah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I might not make it to the end of the week. The doctors say they can’t treat it and I’ve been told to prepare for the worst.

Julie: Better, carry on.

Dan: If we’d spotted it sooner, or if it hadn’t been so aggressive, there might have been a chance but it’s too late now. What scares me the most is having to tell the kids.

Julie: No, you’re waffling now, and change kids to children.

Dan: I can’t change the script! Derek wrote this and he’s in charge of the theatre company!

Julie: So what? He’s written the script but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve it. ‘Kids’ sounds too impersonal; ‘children’ tugs the heartstrings better.

Dan: I’ll have you know that Derek’s an excellent writer; he’s got three published books, which tells me he knows more about how to affect the audience than someone with one failed attempt at a novel.

Julie: There’s no need to get personal Daniel, and if Derek’s such a better writer than I am then why have all three of his books you love so much been flops?

Dan: They were not flops! The market was simply overrun with similar literature at the time and there wasn’t enough of an audience for him to achieve the success he deserved.

Julie: Well whatever his excuse for failing I still say you should change the line. Tell him you thought of it instead of me and I’m sure he’ll be happy to keep the change. He might even invite you out for a drink to celebrate.

Dan: Don’t start that again, why do you always have to be so immature? Why can’t we go one night without you making fun of Derek being gay?

Julie: I said nothing of the sort; I simply suggested he might be grateful if you made a couple of improvements to his dire play. Now stop being so sensitive and try that last bit again and change the line, just to see how it sounds.

Dan: Fine. If we’d spotted it sooner, or if it hadn’t been so aggressive, there might have been a chance but it’s too late now. What scares me the most is having to tell the children.

Julie: There, isn’t that better?

Dan: It sounds corny.

Julie: The whole script sounds corny, this way it’s got one good line at least. Keep it for now and change it back later if you really have to. You’ll be fine so long as he doesn’t throw a hissy fit

Dan: Derek won’t like it; he never likes it when people change his work. He worked very hard on this play so he has every right to be annoyed if people start rewriting it thinking they know more than he does.

Julie: Oh will you stop defending him as if he’s your boyfriend! I’m starting to think you have an ulterior motive for joining this troupe of luvvies; I may wake up one day to find you’ve run off with Derek so you can start wearing pink and going to ‘specialist’ bars.

Dan: Well at least I wouldn’t have to spend my time wearing what you tell me and going to antiques fairs. If I have to give you my opinion on one more authentic oak chest of drawers or set of china plates we never use I think I’ll hang myself.

Julie: I suppose that’d stop me listening to your whining, but before you do could you zip me up at the back?

Dan: Come here then.

Julie: Blast, now those shoes don’t go with the dress, let me find a new pair.

Dan: You must be joking, we’re already going to be late.

Julie: I refuse to go to our friends’ house looking like I got dressed in the dark, besides, it’ll give you another chance to run through that speech. Try to sound more upset, remember, you’re about to leave your wife forever.

Dan: Funnily enough, the thought doesn’t sound so upsetting right now.

Julie: There’s no need to be spiteful.

Dan: Ok, but we’re leaving as soon as I’m done.

Julie: Fine, fine, if you insist, now where did I put those red ones I got last week?

Dan: If we’d spotted it sooner, or if it hadn’t been so aggressive, there might have been a chance but it’s too late now. What scares me the most is having to tell the ki… children. They’re only young but they’re old enough to understand that Daddy will be gone forever.

Julie: You have got to be kidding, even Derek wouldn’t write something as sickeningly cheesy as that!

Dan: What’s wrong with it?

Julie: You’re performing to grown adults, not the viewers of CBBC! That sounds more like something from a school play than a staged production.

Dan: Well I think it’s fine, it shows he’s in touch with how his children will think and feel.

Julie: It shows Derek knows how to make the audience vomit. Change ‘daddy’ to ‘their Dad’ it still sounds childish but at least it’s an improvement.

Dan: Will you stop telling me to change my lines! I happen to think that this may be some of Derek’s finest work and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t continually point out the bits you don’t like. If you want to help then tell me how I could read it better, not how the script could be better.

Julie: If you say so, carry on then.

Dan: They’re only young but they’re old enough to understand that Daddy will be gone forever. I wish to God I had more time so I could say goodbye properly, I’d take you all on one last holiday and tell you I loved you every day. You do know I love you, don’t you Sarah? You know I love you and I always will.

Julie: Not that ‘always’ is exactly long time for him anymore.

Dan: Very funny, what do you think?

Julie: Well your readings getting better but I still say the script is awful. Aha, there are the shoes I wanted. Now which bag should I take?

Dan: Oh for goodness sake just take any bag, you’re going to put it down as soon as you get there anyway, what does it matter?

Julie: Well it matters to me, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look nice tonight and I don’t fancy turning up with just any old bag.

Dan: Why not? I am.

Julie: Well if that’s how you feel then maybe I shouldn’t go at all.

Dan: Now who’s over reacting? I’m sorry but could you please hurry up.

Julie: You just called me an old bag! I think I have the right to be at least a little offended and I shall chose my bag when I’m good and ready. In the meantime, you can check all the doors are locked before we go.

Dan: I already checked them and I’ve left the light on in case of burglars before you ask. How about this one?

Julie: No, the strap’s broken. I think I may have to talk to Derek about giving him a hand with the writing for his next play, he’s obviously not as talented as he believes.

Dan: You know what, I’m not going to be drawn into another argument about this tonight, let’s please just finish here and go. You can bitch about Derek all you like tomorrow.

Julie: I never bitch, I give constructive criticism that people sometimes find hard to take. I think I might have a nice bag in the top of the cupboard over there. Could you get it for me?

Dan: Anything to get us out the door quicker. This one?

Julie: That’s it, ok, can you hold this while I re-do my hair?

Dan: This had better be quick, we were late last time as well. I don’t want us to be known as the unreliable couple.

Julie: No one minded last time and they won’t mind this time either. It’s not one of your office meetings, it’s a relaxing get together at a friend’s house for dinner. Besides, the first hour is always spent catching up over a glass of wine so I doubt we’ll miss anything.

Dan: Oh, bugger. I forgot to get a bottle of wine, we’ll have to pick one up on the way, now we’re really going to be late.

Julie: Don’t panic, there’s one in the Sainsbury’s bag downstairs. I didn’t think you’d remember so I got one this morning.

Dan: Well that’s something at least, I suppose you got one that was ridiculously expensive again.

Julie: I can’t do anything right by you can I Daniel? I only buy nice wine because everyone else does and I don’t want to be the only couple that turns up with a five pound bottle of Cava.

Dan: By the time our bottle gets opened everyone’s drunk anyway, they wouldn’t know if they were drinking gravy.

Julie: Exaggerating doesn’t help you Daniel. Ok, I think my hair’s ok now, last thing, am I wearing too much make up?

Dan: I’ve had enough, I have absolutely had it with this. I’m going to go and wait in the car, hurry up and come out when you’re ready.

Julie: Daniel, before you go.

Dan: What now?

Julie: You do know I love you, don’t you Dan? You know I love you and I only talk to you like this because I love you so much.

Dan: Of course I know Julie, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.