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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1323566
You may never think of a toilet the same way again...
         The porcelain god:  a necessary location for relief; a reassuring place to convene; a podium upon which to confide.  Coming and going, guests express their appreciation and admiration – and at times disgust – always with a sigh and single interjection:  ah.
         Some look forward to visiting him, while others wish to never see him again.  More often than not, people wait in long lines to be near him, to feel the comfort of his touch.  Many find reassurance in having conversations with him, even going as far as to profiling confessions and declaring promises.  Although he does have a large mouth, he never interrupts, degrades, or talks back.  He is everywhere, yet he remains still.  Is there anything or anyone else on earth that receives so much company or is so versatile in their needs and uses?  I think not.
         “Boy, I can’t hold it any longer,” is a statement commonly spoken or grunted prior to a trip to the porcelain god.  While individuals nowadays are selfish and will not lend a helping hand to somebody who is losing grasp of his or her load, the porcelain god is the lone dependable one.  He brings so much relief by just simply being present, and you always know he is there.
         “I’m next!” is frequently declared in a procession of visitors.  Only the line to see Santa Claus around Christmas at local malls can compete with the length of the line to see this god.  The porcelain god is sought after endlessly, even multiple times per day.  While most stores and restaurants can meet the demands of his admirers, it is in homes where there never seems to be enough of him.  It is almost necessary for there to be one of him for every being in the world.
         To be needed by so many, so regularly; you really must admire his patience for not malfunctioning more often.  It isn’t any wonder he runs over at times and altogether stops working other times.  Everybody gets sick or needs some time off; why should he be an exception?  He is not properly appreciated and never gets any form of recognition, and he doesn’t make it a point to remind us of this either.  That is far more than we can say.
         On the other hand, he can be very cold.  We must not think this is selfishness though.  As a deity he has no blood and no heartbeat.  How can you create heat without these?  Regardless, this chill does tend to bring out anger in a goose-bumped victim.  This is a natural reaction, but we really should be more patient.  Think about it:  our touch is not necessarily the most delicate at times.  In any event he never declines our presence, now does he.  His generosity is often overlooked, but he faithfully goes about his day-to-day duty of being there for whomever may need him next.
         Even though most seek comfort in him, there are those who experience tremendous pain after a trip to the porcelain god – and sometimes even a lapse in memory.  Again, this is not his fault.  It is usually the fault of the events of the day or evening, but it is only the memory of him that remains in the mind.  This is why the finger tends to point to him in blame.  In spite of it all, he continues to be there, ready to listen to you time and again.  He knows there will be a next time, although you swear there will not be.
         We must also keep in mind that he will not rub your mistakes or foolish antics in your face, nor will he remind you of the promise you made and once again broke.  He will not taunt or talk back.  He may smirk internally at your idiocy, but that is as far as the insults will go.  He wishes not to inflict any more pain than is obviously felt at the moment, for he already knows what you will be feeling in the coming morning.
         He is truly a friend, and an incredible one at that.  Buddies from your school days come and go.  Relationships bind, bend, and break.  As for the porcelain god, he will be there, truly, until death do you part.  Regardless of the situation, he is and will always be there through anything that you bring his way, be it thick or thin.
© Copyright 2007 Nonie Alyn Bard (navigna at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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