I Before

I made a life I thought was mine
And tried so hard to walk beyond the line
“I can do it!” I said with pride
Not knowing it would only turn the tide.

On my journey I thought I was enjoying
Only to find later that I was yearning
I thought I made it to the top
Not knowing it just made me a flop.

My ears were deaf that could not hear
My eyes were blind to see with fear
My head that ached with so much pain
Not knowing my life started to get no gain.

In my ability, I tried to settle things
Friends I seek, were gone with the winds
I knocked on their door for a cue
Not knowing no one dared for a rescue.

In my great anguish, “It’s unfair!” I protested
Yours today, mine tomorrow and forever I demanded
But all the more they kicked me out
Not knowing unconsciously I made a shout.

Tears rolled down gently on my pale cheeks
Until drops went slowly through my quivering lips
My mouth opened as I began to sob
Not knowing it would loosen my heart’s knob.

The taste was bad that made me shiver
But I was suddenly reminded not to linger
My heart and soul yelling with great pain
Not knowing it was I who chose the stain.

Where had I come from? Why am I crying?
How did I get here? What am I doing?
No one could give me a satisfying answer
Not knowing I was seeking for a reliever.

I looked up there a stranger He was
Crying, waiting to give me what He has
He stretched His hands ever willing I guess
Not knowing He gave me the very best.

My heart was filled with shame and disgrace
But I was told to finish the race
I will teach you if you just wait
Not knowing His plans for me He slowly narrates.

This earthly life I once took for granted
Now my second chance that I be rewarded
Not for things I temporarily gain and see
But far better from the best of me!