Collection

Falling tears
against my window
softly afloat
to say hello
come love to revive
the sun will survive
shine bright one day
to set again
to wash away
the storm
--may 1999

I've heard too much truth today
from the people in my life
I tell myself lies
to build a disguise
and pretend to miscomprehend...
I recognize the room
where i barracade myself
I recount the times i've closed the doors
to ignore the pain
the painful words...
But today I finally see that I
cannot hide
behind the disguise
I've wanted so hard to believe.
---9/14/02

Boring, predictable, i'm normal, i'm dull
These words burrow deeper inside of my skull
I'm drained of my soul
I'm alive but I'm sworn
a nxious, toxic, nuclear whore...
I forgot how to live, i forgot how to breathe
I lost the key to the lock
and now i can't leave
rusty and helpless, i'm digging a ditch
like garbage i'm thrown out,
a meaningless bitch
pretending i'm nothing, I begin to believe
this grave that i'm lying in
is constantly sinking
lower and lower i melt from the sky
everyone's everyone is starting to die
i'm lifeless, it's painless
i grow numb to the cold
my fingers are frozen from the heart that I hold
I close my eyes to the world, and hold back my tears
if only they knew
they'd confirmed my worst fears
---9/14/02