What is Trust to you?

Trust is like an invisible force, it wont show itself in actions if the trust is doubted on the inivisible level. Its like an unconscious string connecting people.

People seem to know instinctively on deep levels when there is a mistrust, it resonates between them silently yet powerfully.

In a relationship, can someone share their deepest vulnerabilties if the flow of trust is doubted in some way?

Example:- Have you ever noticed that if you have a deep crush on someone, you think about them constantly, you yearn for them to like you back, you desire them to see you in romantic ways, then it feels like this person is actually moving further away from you. It feels like distance is being created, which makes you strive even harder. And the more striving you do the further away they get. Then... one day, you decide to let go, and return to yourself, so you withdraw your energy and become self-content again, knowing that this person does not deserve your dedicated attention anymore, and what happens next??!! They start liking you!! They start noticing you, and reaching out, and you think 'wow, why did he/she choose NOW to start noticing me romantically?! I've been breaking my back for ages, and now Ive cooled down, he/she becomes interested, impossible!!'

I have noticed this happening in many relationships with many friends, its a pattern that regularly occurs in many areas of life. I'll try to explain in terms of nature - imagine a beach, and imagine the waves of the ocean lapping upon the beach. A wave will roll in and splash against the beach, pause for the tiniest second, and then roll back again into the ocean. Its a balanced ebb and flow, an equal dance between the beach and the wave. There is the intimacy when the wave joins the beach and there is the space and return to oneself when the wave falls back to the ocean. Now imagine this idea applied to human dynamics, because in my observations it happens all the time.

Going back to my earlier example:- You start to like someone, have a crush on them, your wave laps against their beach, it fills their space with your essence. But instead of rolling your wave back to yourself (the ocean), you keep your wave in their space. You dont withdraw it because you want your wave to be recongised, you want the intimacy your wave is offering to be seen and acknowledged by the beach. And the longer you keep your wave there, the more less intimate and more distant the person seems to become. And then when you suddenly let go, and return to yourself - let your wave roll back to your ocean - then this distant person suddenly acknowledges you. But why? Its the space you have created that noruishes, thats the inivisble trust/love/energy. As long as you stay in someones space with your wave, then this person feels you there all the time, they have nothing to strive for, and their own personal space is filled with your energy. They feel your energy is overbearing and out of balance, they can feel a little suffocated and in turn this takes away their personal flow and creativity towards you.

How can they approach your space with their own wave if you never withdraw your own wave from their space? They never get such an opportunity. And so then you give up, exhausted at not recieivng that which you expect to recieve, you withdraw back to yourself. And in doing so, you have just given the person their own space back. For so long they have felt you breathing in their aura, and now they feel your energy has gone, they feel free... and then they start to find they miss you! And they are now in a position to approach you with their wave, lapping into your personal space - after all, you have spent so long in their space that they have become accustomed to feeling you there, and now your gone, there is some emptiness. But the incredible thing about emptiness is that it is a blank canvas for us to paint on.

So the ebb and flow of trust is an important thing - if we strive for trust between ourselves and others, then our striving will just create no space for people to work in. It is better to roll into their beach/space with your wave, and let your waters say 'trust me', and then follow nature - roll back to your ocean, trust in their space, give them time to find their own wave and their own trust. It will be the letting go, and the trusting of the space between you that solves the trust problem.