Broken

the darkness stretched above me the secret of my abode,
lost in the security of obscurity,
rain trickling from the heavens, a thousand tears of angels so beautiful.
Drunk again, high again, happy and light,
Unseen from the darkness I listen to the sounds the peace and the world going as it should.
Unseen from the darkness I feel the rain and the leaves and how they are so beautiful
Unseen from the darkness I see a pair of people walk from the light into an unseen dark.
But I can see...
I can see the girl I love, a boy I respect, a kiss that hurts
My knees meet the floor and my ears meet the sounds,
Deaf to every other roiling crowd,
Yet I hear this, the sound of lips on skin and tender,
The sound of pain and unholy surrender,
Shot are the dreams of futures and dashed is all of my pride
And unseen in the darkness I cried, I cried.
With strength drawn from anger my legs they moved
Every little pain is with hatred soothed,
Confusion racks my mind as I blindly walk to the street,
Deaf to the sounds of my friends’ greets,
Them deaf to the sound of the screaming inside,
For every time she’d said 'yours faithfully' and lied,
Now the dark is all consuming it’s within rather than without,
And every subtle angel tear turns to a wretched shout,
The ground beneath me hard and strong decides maybe not to bear me,
But I ran I ran until I could see the party on the horizon…just barely.
Then I collapsed onto the floor my eyes swung up to the night,
Asking the stars why and how am I blessed with that cruellest sight,
The ground hits my head and back stinging as it thuds,
And every word I scream to God is a choke on the bitter cud,
I cursed the world that night I forsook the embraces of friends,
In only in the unhappy knowledge that at some point it will end,
Once the world was explained to me by the truest of my loves,
I ask newer questions to God in heaven above,
I ask whether I have the strength to forgive as you huddle to my side,
Whispering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” but I wonder if you lied.
my still frame fails to truly mask the chaos that burns inside me,
wondering why fate chooses the cruellest moments to turn into eternity.