Freedom

         As she reached for the can of tomatoes, she heard a crash farther down the aisle. Behind her, a woman began uttering apologies to everyone in the vicinity and a man’s voice berated her for being so careless. Complete and utter terror overtook her as she realized with a sickening jolt that she recognized that voice. Daring to glance quickly behind her, she confirmed her worst fears. Every raw feeling of pain, guilt and shame resurfaced as she hurried down the aisle, praying he wouldn’t recognize her. Frantically, she turned the corner and emptied her lungs of the air she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. Groaning, she slid to the floor in front of the boxes of cereal and covered her face with her hands.
         “Here we are,” she thought bitterly, “happily every after.”
In all her worst nightmares she could not have possibly imagined this horrifying scenario, this cruel trick of fate that had caused her to see him again—he, the one who had pretended to love her, had forced her to give up so much—her family, her ambitions, her desire for a child—and then had damaged her beyond repair; it had taken years for her to realize that the inevitable breaking of their marriage had not been her fault; his words had pierced like daggers through her heart and his eyes still glared icily at her from every memory. Jubilant sounds of children’s laughter brought her back to present day, and she realized that she was still crumpled on the dirty floor of the supermarket. Keen to avoid the curious stares of her fellow shoppers, she stood up quickly. Laden with her many groceries, she decided to quickly get in the checkout line, avoid any dramatic encounters by the frozen foods section, and go home. Maybe she would watch a soap opera alone in her apartment tonight—they always made her life seem a little less horrible. Nodding slightly to herself, she began to make her way towards the front of the store. Outwardly, she reassembled a look of calm upon her features, but her insides churned unpleasantly. Pain and regret she had long done away with resurfaced, and self-hatred bred within her; if only she had the courage to face him. Quickening her pace, she was almost to the checkout line when she noticed him a few yards away, standing next to a beautiful woman who held a squirming child in her arms. Recognition flooded his face as he looked up and his eyes connected with hers; she froze, and the corners of his mouth turned upward into a nasty grin.
         “So much about you hasn’t changed,” he said condescendingly but soft enough that she almost wondered if she imagined it. Taken aback, she gaped at him for a moment before he shook his head and walked away, beckoning the woman with the child. Unable to form any sort of coherent thought, she watched as the man who had controlled her life for so long sauntered away. Violently, she threw down her groceries and groped in her purse for the letter she’d written him, the letter she’d carried with her for five years—the letter she thought she’d never send.
         “Wait!”
         X-ray vision met her own defiant stare, and he looked at her as though seeing her clearly for the first time.
         “You need to read this letter,” she said firmly, “It says everything I’ve ever wanted to say to you….and I think I’ll avoid this grocery store from now on .”
         Zealous pride swelled within her and she was struck with the realization that this, this was what it felt like to be free.