My thoughts.....

I don't really care if you aprove of this or not, it doesn't need to be corrected nor will it ever be. So if you review this don't review it for the writing just tell me your opinion.

So, right now I'm going through an incredibly hard time and I need someone to see this. I can't show friends or family they've seen it way to much, so this is my way to vent!

For almost 3 years now I've really like even to an extent loved one particular guy. I've dated other people because I couldn't date him due to parent problems from both sides. Dating other people never worked for much longer than 2 weeks and he was back on my mind again and I would secretly see him (although yes, he did have a girlfriend). During the 1st year, things happened between us that probably shouldn't have. I've never had sex with him, but we have gone through some... well extensive foreplay. We then lost contact over the summer and he kind of faded from mind.

The next year, didn't see him and everything was again fine and my world didn't seem turned upside sown anymore. Then we "met" again. I figured you know what fine, we can just be friends. <---Something mutualy agreed on. Then we seemed to fall into old habits again, meeting behind parents/girlfriends and boyfriends/friends and "seeing" each other. During this year, things seemed to get more indepth with our relationship and we attempted to get our parents to let us see each other. His bitch of a mother told my parents and me that, "Sure, he's almost 17, he can date who he wants to it doesn't matter to me." That night he took me home and we wrecked on a dirt road, totalling his car. His mom blamed me for it and now again we couldn't see each other.

Over the summer again, we lost contact for the most part. Now, back in school again, I actually have a class with him and it seems the same as before with so many more strings attatched. He doesn't understand how I feel about him and really doesn't show me that I mean anything anymore. He goes through these stages so much that it really tears me apart inside and I don't know what to do. I know that most tell me he doesn't really care for you if he does that, but really it's not like that. He does care for me like I do for him, we just really try to keep that seperation between us so we can be friends. This really kills me inside and it's been going on for like I said almost 3 years now.