Will He Be Here Today?

Will he be here today? He is the first thing on her mind when she wakes and the last thing on her mind before she sleeps. Her heart is already racing as she gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom. Thoughts of their last conversations fill her mind. She throws water on her face, trying to focus instead on the day ahead. On reality. What does she need to do today? Oh yes. Get the oil changed in the van. Pick up her daughter's prescription. Do laundry. ("I love you more than you will ever know.") His words break into her thoughts, throwing her out of focus. She wills herself to think of the here and now.

Time to wake the kids. She goes down the hall. ("You are so beautiful. I can't stop looking at you. I love you.") Will you be here today? I waited for you all day yesterday. Downstairs her coffee is waiting, and she takes a long sip. It tastes good, as always. She sees a stack of bills that need to be paid. The electric bill is past due. She needs to be sure and mail that one today. She sighs, throws it back on top of the stack, and takes another sip of coffee. The news is on t.v., but she doesn't pay attention. He is on her mind, and she can't keep him out.

Her emotions go from excitement at the memory of his sweet words to disappointment of his absence the last two days. Where was he? Was something wrong? Why wasn't he here to talk with her? She tried to remember their last conversation. Had she said something to upset him? She doesn't think she had.

"Mom, what's for breakfast?" Her son's question startles her, and she wakes from her reverie. She tries to focus. ("I miss you.") He used to miss her. Does he still? Has he found someone else? After what they shared--no way. The thought hurt too much, and she shakes it off. Now, what was it she was doing? Oh, yes. Breakfast. She pull out the waffles and sticks them in the toaster. ("Let me see you. You have the most beautiful eyes.") Milk. She needed to get the milk. Feed the kids. Get them to school.

Oh how she wants him! How she hopes that he will be here today! The kids need to brush their teeth and get dressed. Can't be late. ("You know that we have to be together, baby.") "I love you. Have a good day." She was kissing her husband goodbye for the day, telling him that she loved him. She did. Didn't she? Time to take the kids to school.

Not much longer and she would be alone. Alone for him. Hopefully with him.

Alone at last. Time to think. Of him only. She has accomplished most of her tasks for the day and is now waiting for him. She runs her hand through her hair and licks her lips as she thinks of their last few encounters. She never thought she'd go this far. She liked talking with him, liked his words to her. But she didn't feel so strongly for him. At first. But the more time they spent together, the more she felt for him. Now she loves him. Needs him. Craves him. He permeates her thoughts, drives her crazy with desire for him.

When they made love for the first time, it was amazing. She felt his touch, knew his love. And she wanted him even more since. So she waits. She prays that he will come. It is so quiet, and she feels so desperate to be with him. She craves the words he speaks to her from his heart. She feels like shouting his name,but she can only shed a tear as she realizes the he won't be here today. She plays the song that was on when they first made love, and the tears flow. Her heart is empty, and she feels betrayed, forgotten, used. Did he never love her? Were the words he spoke to her just a vice to have his way with her? Is she not in his every thought and heartbeat? The song plays, a painful reminder of the love they shared.

Will he be here tomorrow? She lays awake in the dark silence, her mind and her thoughts churning. Her heart burning. She is trying to understand why. Why wasn't he here today? ("I will never leave you.") Did he really tell her that, or did she just hope it? ("We have to be together. I love you more than anyone ever will.") If he really loved her so much, how could he stay away? Hurt turns into anger, and she closes her eyes willing sleep to come. Wanting tomorrow to be here. She she can wait for him again.

They have never touched, and she has seen his face only a few times. She has never felt his caresses, tasted his kisses, enjoyed his warm breath on her skin. She has never had the pleasure of running her fingers through his hair or pressing her body against his. They have never shared an embrace or talked face to face. They are thousands of miles apart, separated by distance, culture, and religion. Yet their hearts have touched. Love has a way of transending all obstacles and finding its way into the most unexpecting hearts. And once it has found its lodging, it is almost impossible to get rid of, no matter how badly we want it gone. We don't pick and choose who we love. It just happens. And before we know it, we find that our lives no longer belong to us. Our heart has taken flight and found its way to another. It can happen anywhere at anytime. At work, in the mall, in a taxi, on the street corner, at school, through friends or by a chance meeting.

And, true love can happen between between two people who happen to meet on the internet.